With maturity comes knowledge. Most young men today cannot grasp what you have just written and that is a shame. You are absolutely right. Let’s see what we can do to help ourselves instead of complain about noone helping us. Maybe we don’t need the $300.00 shoes that a celebrity is wearing. In the end it doesn’t matter anyway. Great post J.Dakar!

I’m feeling this post so much…

I have been watching “The Big Give” lately and my heart has been moved week after week as people are challenged to change the lives of complete strangers; not looking for anything in return.

I watched it this morning as the contestants toured Georgia looking for people whose lives they could changed…honestly, I was moved to tears at some of the “just in the nick of time” help they offered…and I prayed, “Lord, help me to be like that.” I came to the conclusion that I dont have to be a millionaire to help somebody. There are people who cant pay their $46 light bill…. I can do that w/no problem! And its not always about money…..some people just want a sounding board….someone to listen to them–I can do that. It’s not too hard to make a difference.

Will Smith said it best in the above quote….we try to impress the Jones’ and they couldn’t give a rats crack about us….We got to get it together!!!

Yes, I drive a Lexus and I enjoy doing so, however, it doesnt make me…..I have been homeless and on welfare so I know the other side of the tracks and I’ll never forget where i came from. May we be reminded….it’s God who has blessed us and not we ourselves.

-Smith

Living for the sake of others is the key to true happiness. I agree with everything that you said J.Dakar. Once we realize that we are spiritual beings and non spiritual things can not make us happy we will be much better off. If anyone wants to join my cult come holler at me. JK*JK*

I loved this post. But I agree with #1), it takes ALOT of maturity to realize this. I’m 25 and I’m still living to work to acquire more wealth because I think it will make me happy. But I know it won’t. Family is very important to me so that helps to keep me grounded. But thanks for the insight J.Dakar!

j. yooooouuuu need to write a book…

Brotha J,there is a movie loosely based on the words of your post.Schindler’s List, the movie was set during World War II,and this German Dude was using Jews to work in his factory for his personal gain,and could have cared less about the people who were being killed and then something happened to him,where he was seeing something much larger than anything he could buy,he saw that he was no better than the Nazi’s that were doing the actual killing and started saving people,when I read this post it took me back to that movie.I hear what you are saying when it comes to our people and how we spend money,I was guilty of buying a Porsche 911 and didn’t have a garage to put it in.Most people who come into some money that they never had before will go off and buy something they don’t need,that’s America,we live in a consumer based economy.When we live check to check we kinda live like the ant,saving for the cold days of winter,but come into some money and we turn into the grasshopper,we are gonna spend that money on something!Sad but true.

That Will Smith quote is priceless. I’ve had it on my myspace page for years. I read it over and over again when I loose focus on my goals

oh snap top ten ! big up to CL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We try to stunt, living beyond our means causing more debt & superficiality.

that line is so true it even hits home

my teacher informed me that when i get her age they’ll be no social security and im 21 so that makes me realize i need to keep my mind on straight when it comes to surviving and not trying to keep up with the superstar (modern day joneses)

I am really happy to see this post on CL. A majority of the youth read the posts on CL and hopefully this will be one they actually READ. People need to stop looking for these “rewards” that serve only instant gratification and start investing in more fulfilling life choices. Why the hell does anyone need a pair of $500 jeans ESPECIALLY when you know you used to wear $40 jeans JUST FINE? Do you know how many pairs of jeans you could buy and give to the less fortunate with just that $500 alone? Its like C’MON PPL… WAKE UP! Stop thinking of yourself because this Earth is going to hell with you AND billions of OTHER PEOPLE. Gluttons…

J. Dakar, thank you for this very insightful and thought-provoking post! In this media-driven society which promotes materialism, it’s not surprising that many want to “keep up with the Joneses.” Instead of investing and saving for our future, we live for the moment, but trust and believe, tomorrow comes awfully fast. I truly believe, as stated above, there is no greater joy that to serve others. Selfishness is a sure way to unhappiness.

Great posts!!!

I meant to say, “there is no greater joy THAN to serve others.”

This is fantastic.

Please don’t act like this is a problem exclusive to the United States. Black people across the globe are affected by this thing. It’s an epidemic that a lot of people are happy to live with.

We watch the Fabulous Life of… and My Super Sweet 16, Cribs and My Great Big Fat Wedding and can sometimes forget that there is a journey to that point where they can spend that money.

Oh, I don’t think I’m articulating this well, but I love this and anticipate seeing our response to it.

What a great, timely post! Now let me go back & read it again!

This is indeed a great post. I’m 27 and I was like this probably still am in one way or another. I do remember when I was younger (21-23), lI wanted this or that and I wanted to marry a man with this or that. But it was all based on desires, wants and never needs. Sounds like I was trying to reach my level of happiness. The self actualization. ( I forgot the name of the psychologists) But I am constantly trying to find MY GOODLIFE and sometimes I was thinking it was in my friends, men, and money. I did get caught up in all the hoopla of nothing but trying to impress people. As I got older I came to a conclusion that so much time was wasted. I never went to the one person I know who could show me the correct way and I do believe it starts with a spiritual connection first. Being of the flesh you see all these temptations money, that purse, that designer that the hottest star has on and you want that. Or I did. Those things never made me happy. It was only for a brief moment. I feel like with the way things are today I have had to eat a lot of humble pie and just thank GOD that he allows me to live on Earth. I watch the Big Give too and I’m like dang I wish I could give back. But in the end I hear myself say that and still I do nothing. It’s sad. Hopefully I can put those words into action one day soon. And that’s the TRUTH.

The truth has always been…. whenever you extend yourself to help someone else, you are indeed helping yourself.

Too often people try to mask their problems and issues with “things” — they become defined by what everyone else sees and what everyone else says. But when you have confidence in yourself and recognize that you are a child of the Most High, what others think become less important, you focus less on what you have, and more on who you are.

And if you think who you are is a reflection of the ‘things’ that you have
—– you will never have enough.

If you really want to be ‘Rich’, count all of the things that money can’t buy.

Great post J. Dakar that Will Smith comment was on point. Me personally I never live above my means my friends call me cheap but I am always ok.

As I have gotten older I realize that people who truly love u love u for who u are and what u have.

True friends, family and a peace of mind is my goodlife.

AMEN J.

Some people get it right away…some take a little longer…some never get it.

We all need to sit down and analyze our own faults and future.

When we pass our obituary says from (date) to (date)…the only thing that matters is what you did between those dates.

None of us are without fault…but it all can be corrected…we can all die good people…and our souls will rest in peace.

Yeah this is a good post. There are so many people faking like they are ballin with empty bank accounts. Pretending to have more money than they got. Hell I’m a college student and single mom living paycheck to paycheck I have no prob admitting that. People need to prioritize.

Im reading this post and Im so very proud of concreteloop taking the initiative to have metamorphed from just celebrity gossip, which would grab young readers attention into almost like a live-well magazine! It is very amazing even how fast you all are doing so.

I sit here and think about all the things I want, and thinking if I will have the money to do so; it is truly a blessing to hear these words. Its like we actually know these things but we need periodic reminders to keep us grounded. Its not as though we lose our connection to reality and the big picture, that grand scheme of things that makes us whole, keeps us humble - its that many times we listen to our own voices and it the help of another mind that makes sure our own voice doesnt overshadow what we need to have instilled permanently.

I call this post a blessing because of what you said and specifically that Will Smith quote that I definitely had to take to heart…helping me to remember that many of the things I’m trying to get are really a waste of money. This is money I could be investing in myself, investing in my family, those I love or people who are in need. I think about all the people who have constantly been there for me and it humbles me actually to go back in my memory bank and not even think twice when people ask me for stuff. Sometimes we do as people get overwhelmed when it seems like people only talk to us, act like they love/want/need us when they need things, but I keep in mind that many times I may be guilty of the same, or at least from the other end it is perceived that way. That is why at all times I try my best to keep it real with people and genuinely extend my heart and body to those who need help.

All in all this is certainly an upgrade for our community. THE GOODLIFE is definitely not about who has this or that; I definitely have lost alot of interest in spending my hard earned money on clothes…..THE GOODLIFE is about feeling wonderful at the end of the day — feeling like those in your company can say that you have extended positive energy to them — knowing that your FAITH is high and that your blessings will continue through Him — realizing that the sun will rise and set with or without you, which is why it is important to make the most out of every day. Its nothing wrong with letting yourself heal….and thats a multidimensional statement.

Allow ourselves healing and we will know the fruits of love!

Great post, it will definitely intrigue people and hopefully get them to think more…

I drive a nice car (that I did not buy for status) and was quite disappointed to see how people looked at me different after knowing it was mine. Reminds me of Jay-Z’s line in ‘Encore’ - ‘Look how they wave to you’…Its a shame that people are more inclined to respect you if they believe that you have money

My father is the cheapest person I know, and I always remember laughing at him for being so cheap asking him why he wouldn’t by Nike’s and Fila’s, and instead went for the no name brand tennis shoes when I was a kid. He was always like, I’d rather walk in my cheap shoes to a great house, than ride home in a luxury car to a nice apartment. I see alot of women my age who spend their last dime on a new outfit, and rush to go pay a bill at the last minute, and it kills me. Yes that was me in college, but it’s like thats not whats going to take care of you once you’re too old to work, all the Chanel Shades in the world, will not pay your “rent” 40 years from now. Tsk…tsk.

You are spot on! As my grandfather used to say “Just because you can pay for something doesn’t mean you can afford it.”

Helping others should come naturally, but some black ppl also face setback in the form of not solvent parents. I am in the financial industry, and I cannot tell you how many times white grandparents set up trusts and readily give 10K to new grandbabies..what did I get when I was born? A jar of dimes! Not a pretty framed certificate of Disney shares.

People, invest your money! The stock market is your friend….you can start with as little as $25 per month if you do monthly ACH withdrawal with most fund companies.

Tithe your 10% (please don’t strike me down, Lord!) and give to your church to start out. Let’s all be Oprah!

Now, J., you know the wealthy do not pay taxes…lol…write offs!

Dakar I feel you. I am 31 and by all accounts I have achieved the American educational dream. I make a good living as a lawyer but I am always trying to reevaluate my purpose and dreams through God’s plan not my own. At times its very difficult. I am not into material wealth but I live and work in a community that is all about that so its hard at times not to get caught in the mayhem. I am trying to teach my younger counsins who are entering college or in high school that its not always about money, the car you drive, or house you live in at the end of the day what can you say you contributed to the world. Many people assume you have to leave law school and work in some massive firm to make money but its not true, my life is dedicated to the work of Thurgood Marshall, Malcom X and MLK. I work in civil rights and day in and day out I am trying to make life better for someone else. I know its a tall order but if we all thought that life is better served serving others instead of ourselves we would be less in debt, living with joy in our hearts, and fulfilling God’s purpose. I commend you and other young black men and women who figure out that you do not have to walk around like a poster board of misdirected wealth to be considered someone who matters. We all matter in God’s plan. Thanks for the thought provoking morning.

I truly appreciate that you posted this, not only because it is the truth but because the response lets me know that there are like-minded individuals who are outside of my circle. For years my friends and I have talked about living a life of joy, instead of “happiness”. New shoes and cute bags make me happy….momentarily. But a warmed spirit, peace of mind and a sense of awareness only come from the fact that I am trying everyday to be a better person to the ones who love and know me and the ones that the Lord allows me to know. This does not just include immediate acquaintances…. it means that I have a profound empathy for the little girls in my neighborhood who wear little to nothing to entice, or the babies I see in 25 degree weather with summer jackets on, or my brothers and sisters in Haiti who are eating dirt cookies to survive (I will never forget that post and credit it from prompting me to take action). There are truly bigger things in life than new jackets, fly phones and cars whose notes cost as much as my monthly student loans (and this is why I still OWN an ‘01). And while I might like those things— I don’t want the kind of life that depreciates. At 25, I can truly say that I am grateful for the lessons that struggle have taught, a few of those being that 1) last season’s and hard knocks make for new understanding 2) the creativity of humbleness can make you the flyest person in the room (that and good, cheap accessories), and 3) the confidence to look past haters who haven’t quite caught on that brand new is sometimes bondage is perhaps all the edge you need.

This post couldn’t have come at a more appropriate time !!! I was taking a good look at my life yesterday and made up my mind that I was going to forget all the “materialistic” things that I have acquired throughout the years and look to purchase and look to improve my”future”. After the news reports last week re:social security is going to virtually non-existent. You know that many black people don’t participate in their companies or employers 401K plans or retirement plans because of the “I need it right now mentally” Also many are ignorant to the whole saving for my”golden years”. I see many people struggling but we need to stop worrying about the latest Jordan and Gucci. Yes these items are nice I must admit I’m addicted to retail but I make sure I dont pay full price, shop discount stores such as TJ Maxx, H&M and make sure my bills are paid such as rent first, electric, phone, food, car, etc. etc.etc. I want to thank CL for posting informative, mind stimulating, thought provoking, food for thought!! I try to emulate my parents who have worked hard and invested in their future and have seen co-workers die while working well into their “golden”years b/c they failed to save for their future. People all we have to do is just save starting with 5% or 10% of our bi-weekly or weekly of your paycheck in a 401K or retirement plan which is usually not taxed (the percentage) taken from your paycheck. And take your job up on their offer of matching whatever you put in your 401K or retirement plan . This way of thinking can only make “US” stronger!! and limit the standard of poverty that so many older blacks are living in because they couldn’t save or wasn’t knowledgeable on the many ways to invest in “Their” future!!! WAKE PEOPLE!! AND THANK YOU CL FOR TRYING TO OPEN OUR EYES TO THIS!!!

I truely agree with you. The funny thing about money and trying to live like the wealthy is; the wealthy don’t spend their money on foolishness.

I must admit I really enjoy reading everyone’s post about this topic. It is encouraging to read others opinions about this topic. One thing I struggle with is the need to live right now. I guess sometimes I have that well tomorrow is not guaranteed mentality. I have my days that I say well I’m going to save for this and I’m going to save for that. I get discouraged only because my paycheck only covers so much. I guess I’m just trying to find the balance of it all. I do have goals of owning a house one day but those student loan bills are a mother and I continue to go to school taking a couple of classes at a time only because I cant pay for them now.

I love you. And I love your blogs.
Mr. J Dakar, you ROCK!

-Nigeria

“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.”

Realest quote I ever read.

Great post J! In the past few months, it has become increasingly apparent that many of us do not invest wisely in our future. I agree with #25, that “live for today” mentality has got to stop, as well as the “me, myself, and I” mentality. We need to be financially savvy, plan for our and our children’s future. We need to give back to our community and help or at least try to help our brothers and sisters in need. I know not everyone can afford to give back financially but we all can give back one way or another. Thank you CL for bringing further awareness to this issue.

I’m so so proud of CL. My family and I have been blessed with a lovely home in the wealthiest county in the US, we have a good amount of money saved, my spouse makes close to six figure without a college degree. Yet, we still sit around talking about wanting more. Wanting a bigger house, wanting larger paychecks. For some reason what we have is never enough. How shameful!!!

I’m going to make it a point to help someone everyday this week. I don’t know how. I just pray that God will send someone into my life that I can help.

Someone commented that black folk can’t afford to set up a trust fot their grandkids. This is so true. Niether my mother nor my grandmother can provide for themselves let alone put away money for furture generations.

I want to break that cycle.

I wonder if there will be 5,000 comment on this subject. Doubtful

I really enjoyed this post and this is the type of thing that makes concreteloop different than any other celebrity news site. I also love the comments that were posted showing a true mature crowd in this post. The sad part is many people on this site might not read this post because it’s not showing the top celebrities with gossip and this message is essential to the mind. I was with one of my friends and we were traveling to school and I remember going past a development with like million dollar homes. And we saw one particular house where it was extravagant and the cars outside were hoopties and my friend was like that’s so dumb to have a nice house with beat up vehicles. I had to tell her that it makes perfectly good sense why many doctors drive hoopties: for one they don’t spend much time in them cause they are always at work or at home trying to sleep. It is amazing how you see a set of low income housing(no offense to some) and you see the best looking vehicles outside. I’ve seen jags, lexus,acuras, escalades, etc. and watched some of the women and men come out with the best looking outfits and jewelry but you have no home and you are sharing rooms with your children?

Anyways I do believe people hold money way too high in life. When you become an adult it’s not all about you anymore. It’s about getting ready for life through marriage where now it’s about you and your spouse, having children where now it’s about the family you have created, and then about your grands, great grands, the legacy you leave behind.

Great post. There nothing wrong with wanting nice things,it’s the reasoning behind the want that’s the problem, look at all the access that celebs have to the finer things in lifeand most of them live crazy,demented,deviant,druged out lifestyles,money is not a cure to happiness,i feel itcan make you more comfortable,but fulfilling your god given potential, to help your family,friends,and community,is a bigger reward.

I also think too many people rule out the word help because they assume it means money and they are quick to say oh well I don’t have it. Really sometimes it can mean mentoring. The words from your mouth can save a young lady from suicide or a young man from joining a gang. You can do things like tutor, community garden work, clean grafitti, etc.

I agree wholeheartedly…What an individual spends there money on, like you said, is solely based on that individual, but this is where I have the problem…..

For me, I have an older brother spent most of his teenage and early twenties in jail. He got out, now he is working, has a damn good job and he can pretty much get what he wants within his financial means. But on the other hand he has this “woman” that doesn’t work, cook, clean and lives in the projects.My brother comes home he has to cook for the kids (most of the time at 9 pm) (mind you 2 of which are not his) while she has done ABSOLUTELY nothing all day. But yet and still she can rent cars every week, she is all labeled out with name brand clothes, jewelry, hair done and everything and doesn’t work in a pie shop. I have to ask myself 1) What the hell is my bro thinking? 2) Where is this chicks priorities? At any given time my brother can decide he wants to leave and there she will be stuck, no money, job, car or anything to fall back on. Instead of trying to help herself or her situation she thinks that it is cool to go out and buy $200 Ed Hardy T shirts and $300 True Religion jeans. I find nothing wrong with buying or wearing those labels when your status in this world is far better than what they have living in the PJ’s.

I know I may be a little off topic, but I guess I am trying to find some rationale on why my brother is still with her when clearly she is more of a burden and no help because they can’t move out of the pj’s because she will not work, and also why do alot of people think that this sort of lifestyle is okay…trying to appeal to an audience that doesn’t even care about you or what you have….

such a sound perspective j. dakar

This article hits home becuase I too am one of those people that thinks having lots of money and material possessions will make you happy. In the back of my mind I know it won’t. Plus if I never reach that life of luxury and continue to stess it I will forever be unhappy. Luckily I don’t live beyond my means. I have no credit card debt, just college debt. I need to find out ways to invest my money once I graduate so that I can be prepared for the future. At the end of the day I don’t want to live check to check. I want to be able to pay my bills and still have money left over to spend if I want. I just have to find a happy-medium in my life.

I also have to find more ways to give back. For Spring Break I took at trip to NC with the Habitat for Humanity to help build homes. It felt good to do something for others but I know there is more that I can do.

Good post

I love this post. I try teaching this to my little nieces and nephews everyime they’re around me. However, they have parents or people around them that show them the opposite. I won’t give up on them and myself. I tend to seperate myself from others who believe in materialism and keeping up with the jones opposed to helping others who need the materials and financial assistance.

i’m feeling the will smith quote. good post, J.

Oh.. and I agree with #5.

Also there is a book I am reading by bell hooks called Salvation Black People and Love and it really relates to this topic as well. You guys should check it out its a great read.

Thank you so much for this post. I love and look forward to reading your posts everyday on CL. Your posts make this site 10 times better than it already is.

I enjoyed your post J.Dakar. God blesses those who bless others. I definitely believe you get more enjoyment from helpling others. I think you have to be at a certain maturity level to come to the conclusion that keeping up with the Jones’ can sometimes bring you more sorrow than happiness. Anyone with sense would like to be comfortable as far as having a nice home, car, bank flow but you can’t live your life stressing from robbing Peter to pay Paul. We all can’t have a BFF like Miss Ofra…lol. I love watching ‘TheBig Give’ . It does make you feel good instead of always taking. It helps to be happy in your own skin and if you can afford the Good Life enjoy it while it lasts.

Good post J. …some of my friends are falling victim to the subprime mortgage crisis and the devaluation of real estate…they bought more house than they could afford and are now scrambling to find renters to cover their payments…when I bought my condo (in the gentrifying ‘hood) they talked about me behind my back…when I bought my ‘00 Nissan in ‘04 they asked why didnt I get a “new” car?….but now I have equity in my condo, Im constructing duplexes to rent out as investment properties, I fully contribute to my 401K plan, and Im buying foreclosures as investment properties…I had to develop tunnel vision and remember what my LONG term goals were because if I would have let peer pressure affect me I would be broke and busted! Im glad CL is putting it out there for us as young people to discuss.

Its so refreshing when these truths are revealed….J you seem to have your head in the right direction………Keep speaking about this, its very important….also speak on the power of thoughts, and how your thoughts affect everything in and around ones reality, then you are cooking with gas! visit myspace for more profund thoughts about this.

Man does this hit home. This is a wonderful post. I wish more ppl would read it. I stress to my child EVERYDAY that investing in your future is more than needed. This coming from a single mother, I REFUSE to allow my child to grow up in a world where material possessions define her worth, happiness and morals. I will NEVER drive a NEW car! Money or not. I will let someone depreciate that value of steel/plastic for me. There are times that I sit and cry b/c I may have only $5 to my name, but then I look back and say to myself. I KNOW I won’t be put out on the street. I KNOW I have a fridge full of food. I KNOW my car will not be taken from me. I KNOW I am sheltered and clothed. I KNOW I am happy. Its sad to know that when you look at your life and try to see someone else’s life from their view and you think they are happy b/c they have a bigger house, a better car, a better job, but then you have the friend who cries on your shoulder about her husband cheating or her kids are disobedient or their note is severe or the house is on the block. You sit back and you thank The Almighty for what you have.

I know there are times when I SHOULD be out looking for another means of monetary gain to keep my head afloat. But instead I went and signed up at a youth Crisis Center to work on Saturday and Sunday afternoon. The lady said to me, your giving up your weekends. I said NO, I’m utilizing them. I have also started a crusade to feed the homeless. My child isn’t allowed to go with me to this Crisis Center for children. So not to leave her out and to show her that there are ppl who are less fortunate then we are. We feed the homeless on the weekends. On Friday nights, we get two loaves of bread, fruit, bottled water and we prepare sandwiches/lunches for the homeless. We (and some other ppl - who also get two loaves and follow suit) go out in the mornings and give and feed and talk and listen and interact and ENJOY every minute of it.

Its not hard, its not hard at all. I do this in hopes that it may trickle down and catch on like a plaque. God knows we need it.

Be careful how you live, making the most of your time. I think its in Ephesians.

Kinda off subject, but a word of advice to anybody who feels as though they are neglected or forgotten about or feel used and abused or have even lost their sense of self worth:

“Never allow someone to be your priority, while allowing yourself to be their option”‘

Mentor and speak to our young children. They really are our future!

I rarely post on blogs but this one caught my attention!! You are correct in your writing about materialism it is terrrible and children these days have it worse. My wife and I were talking the other day about moving into a bigger house not because we needed it but because we wanted it, getting caught up really in what others say and think. Last year our house was burlarized and caught on fire that taught me then that anything can be it was a true blessing how people reached out and after that experience we try land give when we can. I had never seen that Will Smith quote but it is right on time!!!!

Good stuff.

J Dakar… I think u’re my Soul Mate. Another extremely good article.

Shalom.

Read:

The Ditchdigger Daughters
The Pact
The Bond
A Piece of Cake

That’s the “Good Life”.

Definitely a thought provoking post. I was at a job at a major company known to all of you and was miserable, but was afraid to lose it becuase I wanted to keep my house. I was living precariously then and was afraid to leave. Ultimately I was forced out. The lesson for me was that I was allowing fear to rule my life because of bad finanacial choices in the past. I won’t sit here and lie, it’s still a struggle for me. I’m actually trying to think less about money and what makes me happy in life, but there are some things that money can buy that I do want (a car, money for travel, etc.) So its a delicate balance when you are in debt and unemployed as I now am. However, I have learned to take advantage of sales, the dollar store, the discount shop and other things that I once would not do. I have expensive tastes and feel that I’ve worked hard enough over time to be able to afford them. The tastes have changed, though. It’s not as much about clothes (although I do love fashion) as it is about experiences and friendship and connection, so I do do different things. But I encourage younger people to pay attention to and take care of their finances and their health from a young age. Those are two things you will value most when you get older.

Yes with growth comes maturity, I was guilty of indulging beyond my means. The way I looked at it, I worked hard and deserve these material things. Unlike a lot of my so called friends who were handed down things that they did not appreciate. Anyway none of those materials things made me happy instead I accumilated a lot of debt that I am now paying off working 2 jobs. I am just greatful to be able to come back to reality and what life is really about, which to me is family and self help. I truly realize my self worth and know I can accomplish anything I put my mind Including paying off my debt. I now take what I know and learned and try to reinforce that with my neices and nephews. We need to be better with money management.
we need to stop feeding into mass marketed consumer consumption. This is where I am at right now and I could not be happier. Clear mind, self love, connected to what’s real in my world!
P.S get that ERYKAH BADU girl is serious!!!
Thank You - J DAKAR
Thank you.

This is a great post & although I’m drawn to the celebrity gossip & drama, we NEED more stuff like this. You can compare the gossip to material wealth, we all want it, and this post can be compared to helping others, its something we all NEED to do! Thanks J. great job, Keep them coming…

Wow - I really enjoyed reading this!!! I am 27 years old and I have never been one to be into the material things. My mother did not raise me to be materialistic and also being that we did not have much we could not afford it. Even now, I work full time and make descent money however, I still don’t feel the need to buy a $80 pair of jeans or a $45 tee shirt just because it has someones name or symbol on it.

Don’t get me wrong, we all have wish lists. However, there is a difference between a WANT and a NEED!

I honestly believe that the money that we spend on the material things can go to bills/debt that we have. Or put into a savings account for a raining day. As African American’s we are famous for buying a fresh pair of sneakers or outfit to go to the club, yet or electric bill is on the verge of getting disconnected.

At the end when we pass on, people will not remember you for that type of clothes or the type of car you drove but the type of person you were on the inside and what you did to make our world a better place.

OK K K!!!! GOOD STUFF J DAKAR…

“SO OBSELETE ARE FIST AND MARCHES/ SPEECHES ONLY REACHES THOSE WHO ALREADY KNOW ABOUT IT/ THIS IS HOW WE GO ABOUT IT”
-ANDRE 3000

THIS POST MAKES ME THINK OF THIS LINE HE SPIT IN A SONG BECAUSE BASICALLY THE HEDONISTIC FOLK WHO THIS WOULD PREACH TO WON’T EVEN BOTHER TO COME TO THIS POST TO SEE WHAT IT’S ABOUT. *SMH*

WAY TO BE VIGILANT, KEEP DOIN WHAT YA DO BRUH! AND IMMA PUT MY BID IN RIGHT NOW, J DAKAR FOR PREZ 2020!!!!

Great job J. Dakar

The thing that I don’t like is that…when concreteloop does serious posts…you get a moderate amount of comments. Post something about Beyonce or Rihanna and then there will be hundreds of comments.
Although I believe in what you said…what do you do when it seems like a large majority of America wants “dumbed down” work.
On UrbanWorldOnline…I posted something about a 1000lb woman and it gets thousands of views. If I post the Iraq war statistics…I gets a few dozen views.
What is one to do?
I have come to realize that most people don’t want to hear the truth or live it. Whether we are talking about debt, racism, weight loss, health, hip hop or religion…most people don’t want to know the real truth. They only want to know what is conveinant for them at a particular point in time.
So when we are sold unhealthy food, cars that we cannot afford, bad music, houses that are too expensive and so on…is the seller the one to blame when all he is doing is giving the people what they demand?
When that same seller tries to sell something beneficial or uplifting…it is looked down upon and the numbers don’t add up. Just like the comments on concreteloop…beyonce = 150 comments and anythign serious = 60 comments.
I put the blame on the people because you are only getting what you ask for. People don’t give you things that they can’t sell.
Tough decisions….

Great Post J! I’m soooo glad you did not condemn wealth. You just empasized that money has its place. I notice a lot of churches like to condemn wealth. This is the one thing that really disheartens me about church. They try to make it seem like you are a more loyal servant, if you enjoy beeing poor. I believe they sell this in church because the majority of the people are poor, they don’t know what to do about it, and this is just what they need to hear. Anyhow, I’m a thinker, and I like money. It’s very high on my priority list, after spirtual well being and health. In this country I need it to eat well, sleep well, and have a quality of life. More money means more options, ONLY if you manage it. With that being said, managed indulgence is great! We all know celebrities present themselves with things that are GIVEN to them for advertisement, they don’t pay for these things! If you have a average Jane/Joe pay check, it isn’t about brands, its about style and the ensemble you create.

#22
Thank you so much for reminding us about stocks being an option. I would be in an awesome place right now if I new this right out of high school! Heck, while I was in, huh?! Stocks can be purchased for a few dollars and it does not have to be for you. It can be for you children or another person’s child. Anyhow, I found an awesome read about 6 years ago called, WOW THE DOW!! The complete guide to teaching your kids how to invest in the stock market, By: Pat Smith and Lynn Roney. I would recommend this book to anyone that may not know where to start. This is a great tool to get your childrent intersted in investing or yourself. Great read!

*applause*

GOOD GOOD WORD!!

just last week i cut up my credit card- it was a bittersweet feeling

and i’m SO feeling that quote by will smith.

*roundof applause* J. Dakar, I can only I hope a man with these sentiments comes into my life one day. I swear, this really hit home for me. I believe a lot of i has to do with the company you keep as well. I got girlfriends that have loads of Chanel bags, diamond jewelry, nice cars, but they aren’t happy. (And a lot of it came from some one they knew that was a thief or scammer). Anyhoo, even tho my bag and shoe game is what I consider to be good, I always catch myself wanting more. Why? Because they have it and I want when we go out to be the “baddest chicks” there. But where is that getting me. I was just a about to drop $1500 on a Michele watch and I just changed my mind because of this post (at least for now), because it’s not something I need nor can I afford at the moment. And I was about to hit Saks up and get some Chanel sandals and the latest Gucci shades, and now that’s on the backburner.

Wow, I am a single, childless, 28yr old college educated woman (BA). I shouls have a nice set of money in the bank but I don’t. What I do have is college loans I haven’t even started paying back yet (a few years now) and bill that I have a tendency to wait the last moment to pay while I’m flossing outside in $500 shoes and $1k + handbags. And trying to get the Range Rover Sport of Hard drop top BMW.

SMH. I hear Dennis Brown “I’ve got to get myself together.” I really have to focus on bettering my financial situation. I can’t say I’m not a happy person. It’s BILLS that put me in a foul mood. And I don’t watch ANY of that garbage on tv like “Sweet Sixteen” and “Cribs” because all it does is make everyday people feel unworthy. But it comes like anywhere there is radio/tv, you hear some rapper lacing his lyrics (Kanye) about labels and cars.

I know I’m not gonna change overnight, but I’m gonna work on it (which I have been).

And Will Smith’s quote is priceless.

I needed to read something this meaningful today…. thank you very much for this post I LOVE CONCRTELOOP.

This is a great example of what i told my young brother.

“You want a jeep but you need a car” He gave me all the reasons why a jeep was so important. he even said that by me having a jeep (paid in full) should make me sympathize with him and his wants. However it was the reverse b/c i work and live below my means to afford a new jeep. Sometime the best thing is to wait for the wants in life.

There is a lot of buzz about this one book written by Eckart Tolle titled A New Earth and it basically says the same thing. It talks about how it is our ego that wants and wants and that as long as a person tries to find worth in THINGS he or she will always come up short; that the real worth is not in our ego — that is a false created self , but in our true inner being. I haven’t finished reading the book, but that’s the jist of it.

I agree whole-heartedly. Another way to look at it is What’s the point of trying to keep up with the Jones’ when all the ish is going to burn up when the world ends??? Who’s gonna worry about posessions then?? Get yourself right with Jesus first.

I WOULD APPLAUD THIS SPEECH, HOWEVER, THIS SO CALLED “REVELATION” COMES FROM MEN WHO HAVE BEEN GRINDING A WHILE AND DIDN’T QUITE MAKE IT TO THE LEVEL THEY ASPIRED TO BE AT, AND NOW MUST LEARN TO ACCEPT THEMSELVES AND LIVE LIFE AT THIS JUNCTURE. THEY DIDN’T QUITE GET THE JOB/CAREER THEY WANTED, THE CAR THEY WANTED, THE TYPE OF WOMAN THEY WANTED, THE HOUSE THEY WANTED, THE BANK ACCOUNT THEY WANTED, THE FAME THEY SOUGHT, OR THE RESPECT THEY FEEL IS DUE THEM…THUS THIS SPEECH, IN ESSENCE, BASICALLY UMMA BREAK THIS DOWN.

“I WANTED TO BE A BIG BALLER IN LIFE, DIDN’T MAKE IT, GOD DIDN’T SUPPORT OR THE DEVIL DIDN’T MAKE IT HAPPEN FOR ME, SO THIS IS WHAT I’M LEFT WITH, SO I MUST ACCEPT MY LIFE THE WAY IT IS.”

LOL….SORRY, SOUNDS A BIT CLICHE TO ME….BUT WHATEVER, GOD BLESS.

ALL THESE PEOPLE ON THERE HI-FIVING THIS SPEECH ARE THE SAME PEOPLE WHO WORSHIP, AND I MEAN WORSHIP, SOME OF THE CELEBRITIES SIMPLY BECAUSE OF THEIR MONEY AND THEIR BALLER STATUS; THE SHOES THEY WEAR, THE HOUSE THEY GOT, AND CALL OTHERS HATERS IF THEY DON’T LIKE IT…..BUNCH OF FAKE FUCKERS ON HERE…YOU GUYS DON’T REALLY BELIEVE IN THIS SPEECH ANYMORE THAN YOU BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS……IT’S JUST THE POLITICALLY CORRECT THING TO SAY AND IT SOUNDS GOOD…..BUT MOST OF YOU GUYS WOULD KILL TO BE THAT MATERIALLY RICH MAN/WOMAN, AND WOULD DO ANYTHING TO BE IN HIS THEIR SHOES….IN FACT, YOU WOULD PROBABLY KILL YO OWN MAMA TO GET IT……GET REAL….

if you love god….livin is priceless….and you are one fearless soul to be reckon with…ppl brag on material and expensive things as if they can take that with them…not realizin as the way you came in this world (naked) will be the way u leave…ppl work so hard to gain material pleasure and from other ppl…that they dont realize all they have to do is..live…love…and pray. I am sooo happy I am not a superficial person…im glad my mother raised me better and, to have a close relationship with God..or esle I would be just like many ppl in this world…lost..confused..and hungry….for knowledge love and wisdom…

I dont need no one to tell me im beautiful. I know God didnt make any mistakes when he made me.

I dont need a hella of alot of money….im spiritually rich…

I dont step out to try to impress anyone but ME and God.

I live because I am thankful God gave me the gift of Life…and he is the only one in this world I aim to please.

Very well said! Preach!

At the end of the day, a Pinto gets you to point A to point B just as well as a Porsche does. And the person that drives the Porsche is no better than the man driving the Pinto. But it’s sad, because the guy who drives the Pinto wont even get a second look from most, where the guy who is driving the Porsche is looked at as “The Man”.

And at the end of the day, does it matter how many pairs of Nike’s you have or how many pairs of Dereon jeans you have or what color Guiseppe shoes you rocking tonight? There are people living in this world that would die just to have a good comfortable pair of shoes.

Well, what do we expect? With they way music videos glorify the mansion, hot cars, rims, bling, hot clothes and girls and clubbin’ everynight–what do we expect? Kids are watching this thinking these things are what makes you a man or young girls are thinking if they act and dress like the girls in videos, then they will have that hot guy with the mansion, porsche etc.

Then nots even get started on the mother who rocks all the Baby Phat, Dereon, Chanel & Rocawear–and her kids dress in salvation clothes with snotty noses, smelling like pee! Or Let’s not forget the dude who has the hottest truck with rims, wears nothing but name brand clothes thinking he is Jay Z or somebody and has about 5 kids running around town he dont EVEN take care of, but yet in still gots a new hot young chick on his arm-why? Because he got the hot truck with rims, hot clothes etc.

The clothes WILL go out of style, that hot young guy or girl WILL become middle aged, then a senior citizen, that model car and rims will soon be old, out of style and played out–and all your money will be gone–then what?

I must say this is a wonderful post and there should be more like it. We always need that balance.

Us as Americans, especially African Americans, need to remeber the old phrase, “Keeping Up with Jones” which was a term used for people who are constantly trying to keep up with the status of someone else, whether it be car, house, clothes, etc. As stated earlier, stop living beyond your needs to impress people who probably dont care anything about you. And if you have to have the “latest, most expensive” things in order for them to be around you, then you probably dont need those people in your life.

It’s sad to see people I know living in Section 8 housing, getting Food Stamps and driving 2007/2008 brand new cars but can’t even afford to pay their bills or don’t have any food in their fridge. And then some of them even have the nerve to look at you like they’re doing it big and you should be jealous. When I get paid, I pay all bills first AND give my 10% to the LORD (which is the least I can do knowing all that he’s done for me)…then if money is leftover, I can go shopping or whatever. Trust and believe I learned my lesson the hard way by tryna just spend, spend, spend before paying what is important first.

@1 i agree with you. i’m 19 yrs old i and i understood everything J. Dakar said. Now for the young people defense they are only doing what some “adults” find the most important. I’m not saying that you are saying that young people is the issue, but, you can’t point at the kids and say something wrong with them? No you have to look at what these supposedly wise adults are teaching these kids. The parents play a big role in this too. As well as the media (NO OFFENSE CL). They tell and show that life is easier when you’re rich so they buy into it. Being a young man myself i find it very sad that most young men and let’s not forget the young women think that the most important things in the world is getting a new fresh pair Air Forces. Don’t get me wrong i like me a pair fresh Forces too(LOLOLO) but it not my primary goal in my life. Hopefully they will grown out of it.

Good post ..more like these are needed on this forum:)

That Will Smith quote was very good and true, but i’m sorry coming from him it sounds like a contradiction.

15.
Flygirl

Self-Actualization is the upper level of Maslow’s Hiearchy of Needs. It’s a shame that so many can’t get past the lower levels of basic necessity. I’m a firm believer that self-actualization can be reached by anyone who can let go of desires and focus in their needs. People need to realize the difference between wants and needs. Sure your wants will satisfy today and even tomorrow, but 50 years from now your needs will be all that you have left.

J. You couldn’t have picked a more perfect time to write this. As a financial adviser in training your words are like music to my ears. Just yesterday I read an article in Long Island’s Newsday about how middle class earners are being “forced” to accept food from food pantries. A man who makes $70,000 a year and has a $4000 per month mortgage can’t afford to put food on the table? WTF? My mother who is divorced and single and who makes less than half that manages to get by because she knows not to live outside of her means. The Long Island Mentality is the same as it is across the country, just amplified ten times over.

People need to realize that you don’t have to own half of the block in order to feel like your worth something in this world. It’s not like you can take it with you at the end of the day. Sure it’s nice to live to good life, but the good life built upon a faulty foundation is worse than living “broke”, but care free.

This is an interesting post. I think however that just because you give to others doesn’t make you good person or happier. It’s more to than that. We see a lot of celebrities that give to charities all the time and are either openly nasty or in the closet nasty. It’s all about your motives. You can give and be just doing it to impress people or you want to write off on your taxes. Sure the people you give to get helped, but everybody who knows you won’t look at that but look at how such a mean person you truly are. So all i’m saying is if you going to give, give from the heart.

I have known people in my day who have gotten carried away with this whole concept of having to get everything now, knowing they couldn’t afford it. They have gotten themselves in a lot of trouble because of it. I can only hope that more young people will understand this earlier, so that they don’t get themselves in a lot of financial trouble. It’s hard to dig out of it once you fall in.

To #36- Your brother’s girlfriend obviously thinks she’ll be good with a child support check. It’s unfortunate, but if your brother sits back and accepts it, then there is not much you can say.

To Jscene….respect your opinion but I must share my opinion on some things you said. You stated “YOU GUYS DON’T REALLY BELIEVE IN THIS SPEECH ANYMORE THAN YOU BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS…”

I can only speak for my self when I say that it’s not just believing, it’s KNOWING that when you have been in situations before (such as myself) where you would pay to go to a club and buy a new outfit but haven’t even paid your car payment or light bill.

There is nothing wrong with being rich and having nice things…..its just when you believe that those things make or break you. It’s when you think those things determine your self worth and when it makes you feel like you are less than someone else who may have a little more than you do.

I don’t know about everybody else but I know that I dont come to CL to worship celebrities who can’t do anything for me. I worship the LORD above who I know is my help.