For some time, I was concerned about the car I drove & other nonsense I now find to be of little importance. At one point, I wore two carat diamond studs in my ears, but have downgraded to a less ostentatious quarter carat. In the end, it’s not going to matter how big my diamonds were or whether I drove a Ford or a Ferrari. That’s not what will determine my worth.
The status of a person is not how much money they have or what they do for a living — the real importance of a person is how they treat everybody, particularly the people who are deemed lower than them in society. I’ve figured out what it’s all about. For me, the only thing that’s going to matter is that I lived my life to the fullest and did everything I possibly could to help those around me in need.
I’m not saying I’m giving away my worldly possessions to feed the hungry & care for the sick; I like to spend money like everyone else. However, I know my limitations, and choose not to exceed them. Judging by our generation’s conspicuous consumption, not everyone shares that sentiment.
We try to stunt, living beyond our means causing more debt & superficiality. According to the Federal Reserve, over 40 percent of U.S. families spend more than they earn & a U.S. Department of Health and Human Services report claimed 93 percent of Americans will retire financially dependent on the government, family or charity.
There is nothing wrong with enjoying the fruits of your labor; however, we should be aware that rich people are not happier & adding wealth to your life does not increase a sense of well-being.1
“Instead of amassing Benjamins in our pockets & bonds in our portfolios, we should be spending our money on what will actually make us happier.”2
For each of us, that will mean something different. Personally, I love the idea of socio-capitalism. I’m not saying those who can support others should do so. It’s their money & they should be able to do with it what they want. I do, however, think it’s messed up when people base their life’s worth on the amount of money & possessions they’ve accumulated instead of realizing the number of people they could have helped. If all I am concerned with is gaining material goods just for the sake of saying I have this or that means a problem exists & there’s a disconnect with reality.
As the disparity between rich & poor grows, the wealthy becomes less inclined to pay taxes that benefit the average person & the rich get richer, the middle is not raised and these differences compound themselves. Materialism then becomes a threat to the unity on which any well-ordered, democratic society is based.3
“Too many people spend money they haven’t earned, to buy things they don’t want, to impress people they don’t like.”
- Will Smith
2 University of Southern California economist Richard Easterlin
3 “Sick of Poverty,” published in the December 2005 issue of Scientific American by Robert Sapolsky
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‘J. Dakar On’ is a monthly commentary feature on Concrete Loop. In 500 words or less, J. will offer his personal thoughts and opinions on political or social issues/events. Click here for contact info.
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I’m so so proud of CL. My family and I have been blessed with a lovely home in the wealthiest county in the US, we have a good amount of money saved, my spouse makes close to six figure without a college degree. Yet, we still sit around talking about wanting more. Wanting a bigger house, wanting larger paychecks. For some reason what we have is never enough. How shameful!!!
I’m going to make it a point to help someone everyday this week. I don’t know how. I just pray that God will send someone into my life that I can help.
Someone commented that black folk can’t afford to set up a trust fot their grandkids. This is so true. Niether my mother nor my grandmother can provide for themselves let alone put away money for furture generations.
I want to break that cycle.
I wonder if there will be 5,000 comment on this subject. Doubtful
I really enjoyed this post and this is the type of thing that makes concreteloop different than any other celebrity news site. I also love the comments that were posted showing a true mature crowd in this post. The sad part is many people on this site might not read this post because it’s not showing the top celebrities with gossip and this message is essential to the mind. I was with one of my friends and we were traveling to school and I remember going past a development with like million dollar homes. And we saw one particular house where it was extravagant and the cars outside were hoopties and my friend was like that’s so dumb to have a nice house with beat up vehicles. I had to tell her that it makes perfectly good sense why many doctors drive hoopties: for one they don’t spend much time in them cause they are always at work or at home trying to sleep. It is amazing how you see a set of low income housing(no offense to some) and you see the best looking vehicles outside. I’ve seen jags, lexus,acuras, escalades, etc. and watched some of the women and men come out with the best looking outfits and jewelry but you have no home and you are sharing rooms with your children?
Anyways I do believe people hold money way too high in life. When you become an adult it’s not all about you anymore. It’s about getting ready for life through marriage where now it’s about you and your spouse, having children where now it’s about the family you have created, and then about your grands, great grands, the legacy you leave behind.
Great post. There nothing wrong with wanting nice things,it’s the reasoning behind the want that’s the problem, look at all the access that celebs have to the finer things in lifeand most of them live crazy,demented,deviant,druged out lifestyles,money is not a cure to happiness,i feel itcan make you more comfortable,but fulfilling your god given potential, to help your family,friends,and community,is a bigger reward.
I also think too many people rule out the word help because they assume it means money and they are quick to say oh well I don’t have it. Really sometimes it can mean mentoring. The words from your mouth can save a young lady from suicide or a young man from joining a gang. You can do things like tutor, community garden work, clean grafitti, etc.
I agree wholeheartedly…What an individual spends there money on, like you said, is solely based on that individual, but this is where I have the problem…..
For me, I have an older brother spent most of his teenage and early twenties in jail. He got out, now he is working, has a damn good job and he can pretty much get what he wants within his financial means. But on the other hand he has this “woman” that doesn’t work, cook, clean and lives in the projects.My brother comes home he has to cook for the kids (most of the time at 9 pm) (mind you 2 of which are not his) while she has done ABSOLUTELY nothing all day. But yet and still she can rent cars every week, she is all labeled out with name brand clothes, jewelry, hair done and everything and doesn’t work in a pie shop. I have to ask myself 1) What the hell is my bro thinking? 2) Where is this chicks priorities? At any given time my brother can decide he wants to leave and there she will be stuck, no money, job, car or anything to fall back on. Instead of trying to help herself or her situation she thinks that it is cool to go out and buy $200 Ed Hardy T shirts and $300 True Religion jeans. I find nothing wrong with buying or wearing those labels when your status in this world is far better than what they have living in the PJ’s.
I know I may be a little off topic, but I guess I am trying to find some rationale on why my brother is still with her when clearly she is more of a burden and no help because they can’t move out of the pj’s because she will not work, and also why do alot of people think that this sort of lifestyle is okay…trying to appeal to an audience that doesn’t even care about you or what you have….
such a sound perspective j. dakar
This article hits home becuase I too am one of those people that thinks having lots of money and material possessions will make you happy. In the back of my mind I know it won’t. Plus if I never reach that life of luxury and continue to stess it I will forever be unhappy. Luckily I don’t live beyond my means. I have no credit card debt, just college debt. I need to find out ways to invest my money once I graduate so that I can be prepared for the future. At the end of the day I don’t want to live check to check. I want to be able to pay my bills and still have money left over to spend if I want. I just have to find a happy-medium in my life.
I also have to find more ways to give back. For Spring Break I took at trip to NC with the Habitat for Humanity to help build homes. It felt good to do something for others but I know there is more that I can do.
Good post
I love this post. I try teaching this to my little nieces and nephews everyime they’re around me. However, they have parents or people around them that show them the opposite. I won’t give up on them and myself. I tend to seperate myself from others who believe in materialism and keeping up with the jones opposed to helping others who need the materials and financial assistance.
i’m feeling the will smith quote. good post, J.
Oh.. and I agree with #5.
Also there is a book I am reading by bell hooks called Salvation Black People and Love and it really relates to this topic as well. You guys should check it out its a great read.
Thank you so much for this post. I love and look forward to reading your posts everyday on CL. Your posts make this site 10 times better than it already is.
I enjoyed your post J.Dakar. God blesses those who bless others. I definitely believe you get more enjoyment from helpling others. I think you have to be at a certain maturity level to come to the conclusion that keeping up with the Jones’ can sometimes bring you more sorrow than happiness. Anyone with sense would like to be comfortable as far as having a nice home, car, bank flow but you can’t live your life stressing from robbing Peter to pay Paul. We all can’t have a BFF like Miss Ofra…lol. I love watching ‘TheBig Give’ . It does make you feel good instead of always taking. It helps to be happy in your own skin and if you can afford the Good Life enjoy it while it lasts.
Good post J. …some of my friends are falling victim to the subprime mortgage crisis and the devaluation of real estate…they bought more house than they could afford and are now scrambling to find renters to cover their payments…when I bought my condo (in the gentrifying ‘hood) they talked about me behind my back…when I bought my ’00 Nissan in ’04 they asked why didnt I get a “new” car?….but now I have equity in my condo, Im constructing duplexes to rent out as investment properties, I fully contribute to my 401K plan, and Im buying foreclosures as investment properties…I had to develop tunnel vision and remember what my LONG term goals were because if I would have let peer pressure affect me I would be broke and busted! Im glad CL is putting it out there for us as young people to discuss.
Its so refreshing when these truths are revealed….J you seem to have your head in the right direction………Keep speaking about this, its very important….also speak on the power of thoughts, and how your thoughts affect everything in and around ones reality, then you are cooking with gas! visit myspace for more profund thoughts about this.
Man does this hit home. This is a wonderful post. I wish more ppl would read it. I stress to my child EVERYDAY that investing in your future is more than needed. This coming from a single mother, I REFUSE to allow my child to grow up in a world where material possessions define her worth, happiness and morals. I will NEVER drive a NEW car! Money or not. I will let someone depreciate that value of steel/plastic for me. There are times that I sit and cry b/c I may have only $5 to my name, but then I look back and say to myself. I KNOW I won’t be put out on the street. I KNOW I have a fridge full of food. I KNOW my car will not be taken from me. I KNOW I am sheltered and clothed. I KNOW I am happy. Its sad to know that when you look at your life and try to see someone else’s life from their view and you think they are happy b/c they have a bigger house, a better car, a better job, but then you have the friend who cries on your shoulder about her husband cheating or her kids are disobedient or their note is severe or the house is on the block. You sit back and you thank The Almighty for what you have.
I know there are times when I SHOULD be out looking for another means of monetary gain to keep my head afloat. But instead I went and signed up at a youth Crisis Center to work on Saturday and Sunday afternoon. The lady said to me, your giving up your weekends. I said NO, I’m utilizing them. I have also started a crusade to feed the homeless. My child isn’t allowed to go with me to this Crisis Center for children. So not to leave her out and to show her that there are ppl who are less fortunate then we are. We feed the homeless on the weekends. On Friday nights, we get two loaves of bread, fruit, bottled water and we prepare sandwiches/lunches for the homeless. We (and some other ppl – who also get two loaves and follow suit) go out in the mornings and give and feed and talk and listen and interact and ENJOY every minute of it.
Its not hard, its not hard at all. I do this in hopes that it may trickle down and catch on like a plaque. God knows we need it.
Be careful how you live, making the most of your time. I think its in Ephesians.
Kinda off subject, but a word of advice to anybody who feels as though they are neglected or forgotten about or feel used and abused or have even lost their sense of self worth:
“Never allow someone to be your priority, while allowing yourself to be their option”‘
Mentor and speak to our young children. They really are our future!
I rarely post on blogs but this one caught my attention!! You are correct in your writing about materialism it is terrrible and children these days have it worse. My wife and I were talking the other day about moving into a bigger house not because we needed it but because we wanted it, getting caught up really in what others say and think. Last year our house was burlarized and caught on fire that taught me then that anything can be it was a true blessing how people reached out and after that experience we try land give when we can. I had never seen that Will Smith quote but it is right on time!!!!
Good stuff.
J Dakar… I think u’re my Soul Mate. Another extremely good article.
Shalom.
Read:
The Ditchdigger Daughters
The Pact
The Bond
A Piece of Cake
That’s the “Good Life”.
Definitely a thought provoking post. I was at a job at a major company known to all of you and was miserable, but was afraid to lose it becuase I wanted to keep my house. I was living precariously then and was afraid to leave. Ultimately I was forced out. The lesson for me was that I was allowing fear to rule my life because of bad finanacial choices in the past. I won’t sit here and lie, it’s still a struggle for me. I’m actually trying to think less about money and what makes me happy in life, but there are some things that money can buy that I do want (a car, money for travel, etc.) So its a delicate balance when you are in debt and unemployed as I now am. However, I have learned to take advantage of sales, the dollar store, the discount shop and other things that I once would not do. I have expensive tastes and feel that I’ve worked hard enough over time to be able to afford them. The tastes have changed, though. It’s not as much about clothes (although I do love fashion) as it is about experiences and friendship and connection, so I do do different things. But I encourage younger people to pay attention to and take care of their finances and their health from a young age. Those are two things you will value most when you get older.
Yes with growth comes maturity, I was guilty of indulging beyond my means. The way I looked at it, I worked hard and deserve these material things. Unlike a lot of my so called friends who were handed down things that they did not appreciate. Anyway none of those materials things made me happy instead I accumilated a lot of debt that I am now paying off working 2 jobs. I am just greatful to be able to come back to reality and what life is really about, which to me is family and self help. I truly realize my self worth and know I can accomplish anything I put my mind Including paying off my debt. I now take what I know and learned and try to reinforce that with my neices and nephews. We need to be better with money management.
we need to stop feeding into mass marketed consumer consumption. This is where I am at right now and I could not be happier. Clear mind, self love, connected to what’s real in my world!
P.S get that ERYKAH BADU girl is serious!!!
Thank You – J DAKAR
Thank you.
This is a great post & although I’m drawn to the celebrity gossip & drama, we NEED more stuff like this. You can compare the gossip to material wealth, we all want it, and this post can be compared to helping others, its something we all NEED to do! Thanks J. great job, Keep them coming…
Wow – I really enjoyed reading this!!! I am 27 years old and I have never been one to be into the material things. My mother did not raise me to be materialistic and also being that we did not have much we could not afford it. Even now, I work full time and make descent money however, I still don’t feel the need to buy a $80 pair of jeans or a $45 tee shirt just because it has someones name or symbol on it.
Don’t get me wrong, we all have wish lists. However, there is a difference between a WANT and a NEED!
I honestly believe that the money that we spend on the material things can go to bills/debt that we have. Or put into a savings account for a raining day. As African American’s we are famous for buying a fresh pair of sneakers or outfit to go to the club, yet or electric bill is on the verge of getting disconnected.
At the end when we pass on, people will not remember you for that type of clothes or the type of car you drove but the type of person you were on the inside and what you did to make our world a better place.
OK K K!!!! GOOD STUFF J DAKAR…
“SO OBSELETE ARE FIST AND MARCHES/ SPEECHES ONLY REACHES THOSE WHO ALREADY KNOW ABOUT IT/ THIS IS HOW WE GO ABOUT IT”
-ANDRE 3000
THIS POST MAKES ME THINK OF THIS LINE HE SPIT IN A SONG BECAUSE BASICALLY THE HEDONISTIC FOLK WHO THIS WOULD PREACH TO WON’T EVEN BOTHER TO COME TO THIS POST TO SEE WHAT IT’S ABOUT. *SMH*
WAY TO BE VIGILANT, KEEP DOIN WHAT YA DO BRUH! AND IMMA PUT MY BID IN RIGHT NOW, J DAKAR FOR PREZ 2020!!!!
Great job J. Dakar
The thing that I don’t like is that…when concreteloop does serious posts…you get a moderate amount of comments. Post something about Beyonce or Rihanna and then there will be hundreds of comments.
Although I believe in what you said…what do you do when it seems like a large majority of America wants “dumbed down” work.
On UrbanWorldOnline…I posted something about a 1000lb woman and it gets thousands of views. If I post the Iraq war statistics…I gets a few dozen views.
What is one to do?
I have come to realize that most people don’t want to hear the truth or live it. Whether we are talking about debt, racism, weight loss, health, hip hop or religion…most people don’t want to know the real truth. They only want to know what is conveinant for them at a particular point in time.
So when we are sold unhealthy food, cars that we cannot afford, bad music, houses that are too expensive and so on…is the seller the one to blame when all he is doing is giving the people what they demand?
When that same seller tries to sell something beneficial or uplifting…it is looked down upon and the numbers don’t add up. Just like the comments on concreteloop…beyonce = 150 comments and anythign serious = 60 comments.
I put the blame on the people because you are only getting what you ask for. People don’t give you things that they can’t sell.
Tough decisions….
Great Post J! I’m soooo glad you did not condemn wealth. You just empasized that money has its place. I notice a lot of churches like to condemn wealth. This is the one thing that really disheartens me about church. They try to make it seem like you are a more loyal servant, if you enjoy beeing poor. I believe they sell this in church because the majority of the people are poor, they don’t know what to do about it, and this is just what they need to hear. Anyhow, I’m a thinker, and I like money. It’s very high on my priority list, after spirtual well being and health. In this country I need it to eat well, sleep well, and have a quality of life. More money means more options, ONLY if you manage it. With that being said, managed indulgence is great! We all know celebrities present themselves with things that are GIVEN to them for advertisement, they don’t pay for these things! If you have a average Jane/Joe pay check, it isn’t about brands, its about style and the ensemble you create.
#22
Thank you so much for reminding us about stocks being an option. I would be in an awesome place right now if I new this right out of high school! Heck, while I was in, huh?! Stocks can be purchased for a few dollars and it does not have to be for you. It can be for you children or another person’s child. Anyhow, I found an awesome read about 6 years ago called, WOW THE DOW!! The complete guide to teaching your kids how to invest in the stock market, By: Pat Smith and Lynn Roney. I would recommend this book to anyone that may not know where to start. This is a great tool to get your childrent intersted in investing or yourself. Great read!
*applause*
GOOD GOOD WORD!!
just last week i cut up my credit card- it was a bittersweet feeling
and i’m SO feeling that quote by will smith.
*roundof applause* J. Dakar, I can only I hope a man with these sentiments comes into my life one day. I swear, this really hit home for me. I believe a lot of i has to do with the company you keep as well. I got girlfriends that have loads of Chanel bags, diamond jewelry, nice cars, but they aren’t happy. (And a lot of it came from some one they knew that was a thief or scammer). Anyhoo, even tho my bag and shoe game is what I consider to be good, I always catch myself wanting more. Why? Because they have it and I want when we go out to be the “baddest chicks” there. But where is that getting me. I was just a about to drop $1500 on a Michele watch and I just changed my mind because of this post (at least for now), because it’s not something I need nor can I afford at the moment. And I was about to hit Saks up and get some Chanel sandals and the latest Gucci shades, and now that’s on the backburner.
Wow, I am a single, childless, 28yr old college educated woman (BA). I shouls have a nice set of money in the bank but I don’t. What I do have is college loans I haven’t even started paying back yet (a few years now) and bill that I have a tendency to wait the last moment to pay while I’m flossing outside in $500 shoes and $1k + handbags. And trying to get the Range Rover Sport of Hard drop top BMW.
SMH. I hear Dennis Brown “I’ve got to get myself together.” I really have to focus on bettering my financial situation. I can’t say I’m not a happy person. It’s BILLS that put me in a foul mood. And I don’t watch ANY of that garbage on tv like “Sweet Sixteen” and “Cribs” because all it does is make everyday people feel unworthy. But it comes like anywhere there is radio/tv, you hear some rapper lacing his lyrics (Kanye) about labels and cars.
I know I’m not gonna change overnight, but I’m gonna work on it (which I have been).
And Will Smith’s quote is priceless.
I needed to read something this meaningful today…. thank you very much for this post I LOVE CONCRTELOOP.
This is a great example of what i told my young brother.
“You want a jeep but you need a car” He gave me all the reasons why a jeep was so important. he even said that by me having a jeep (paid in full) should make me sympathize with him and his wants. However it was the reverse b/c i work and live below my means to afford a new jeep. Sometime the best thing is to wait for the wants in life.
There is a lot of buzz about this one book written by Eckart Tolle titled A New Earth and it basically says the same thing. It talks about how it is our ego that wants and wants and that as long as a person tries to find worth in THINGS he or she will always come up short; that the real worth is not in our ego — that is a false created self , but in our true inner being. I haven’t finished reading the book, but that’s the jist of it.
I agree whole-heartedly. Another way to look at it is What’s the point of trying to keep up with the Jones’ when all the ish is going to burn up when the world ends??? Who’s gonna worry about posessions then?? Get yourself right with Jesus first.
I WOULD APPLAUD THIS SPEECH, HOWEVER, THIS SO CALLED “REVELATION” COMES FROM MEN WHO HAVE BEEN GRINDING A WHILE AND DIDN’T QUITE MAKE IT TO THE LEVEL THEY ASPIRED TO BE AT, AND NOW MUST LEARN TO ACCEPT THEMSELVES AND LIVE LIFE AT THIS JUNCTURE. THEY DIDN’T QUITE GET THE JOB/CAREER THEY WANTED, THE CAR THEY WANTED, THE TYPE OF WOMAN THEY WANTED, THE HOUSE THEY WANTED, THE BANK ACCOUNT THEY WANTED, THE FAME THEY SOUGHT, OR THE RESPECT THEY FEEL IS DUE THEM…THUS THIS SPEECH, IN ESSENCE, BASICALLY UMMA BREAK THIS DOWN.
“I WANTED TO BE A BIG BALLER IN LIFE, DIDN’T MAKE IT, GOD DIDN’T SUPPORT OR THE DEVIL DIDN’T MAKE IT HAPPEN FOR ME, SO THIS IS WHAT I’M LEFT WITH, SO I MUST ACCEPT MY LIFE THE WAY IT IS.”
LOL….SORRY, SOUNDS A BIT CLICHE TO ME….BUT WHATEVER, GOD BLESS.
ALL THESE PEOPLE ON THERE HI-FIVING THIS SPEECH ARE THE SAME PEOPLE WHO WORSHIP, AND I MEAN WORSHIP, SOME OF THE CELEBRITIES SIMPLY BECAUSE OF THEIR MONEY AND THEIR BALLER STATUS; THE SHOES THEY WEAR, THE HOUSE THEY GOT, AND CALL OTHERS HATERS IF THEY DON’T LIKE IT…..BUNCH OF FAKE FUCKERS ON HERE…YOU GUYS DON’T REALLY BELIEVE IN THIS SPEECH ANYMORE THAN YOU BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS……IT’S JUST THE POLITICALLY CORRECT THING TO SAY AND IT SOUNDS GOOD…..BUT MOST OF YOU GUYS WOULD KILL TO BE THAT MATERIALLY RICH MAN/WOMAN, AND WOULD DO ANYTHING TO BE IN HIS THEIR SHOES….IN FACT, YOU WOULD PROBABLY KILL YO OWN MAMA TO GET IT……GET REAL….
if you love god….livin is priceless….and you are one fearless soul to be reckon with…ppl brag on material and expensive things as if they can take that with them…not realizin as the way you came in this world (naked) will be the way u leave…ppl work so hard to gain material pleasure and from other ppl…that they dont realize all they have to do is..live…love…and pray. I am sooo happy I am not a superficial person…im glad my mother raised me better and, to have a close relationship with God..or esle I would be just like many ppl in this world…lost..confused..and hungry….for knowledge love and wisdom…
I dont need no one to tell me im beautiful. I know God didnt make any mistakes when he made me.
I dont need a hella of alot of money….im spiritually rich…
I dont step out to try to impress anyone but ME and God.
I live because I am thankful God gave me the gift of Life…and he is the only one in this world I aim to please.
Very well said! Preach!
At the end of the day, a Pinto gets you to point A to point B just as well as a Porsche does. And the person that drives the Porsche is no better than the man driving the Pinto. But it’s sad, because the guy who drives the Pinto wont even get a second look from most, where the guy who is driving the Porsche is looked at as “The Man”.
And at the end of the day, does it matter how many pairs of Nike’s you have or how many pairs of Dereon jeans you have or what color Guiseppe shoes you rocking tonight? There are people living in this world that would die just to have a good comfortable pair of shoes.
Well, what do we expect? With they way music videos glorify the mansion, hot cars, rims, bling, hot clothes and girls and clubbin’ everynight–what do we expect? Kids are watching this thinking these things are what makes you a man or young girls are thinking if they act and dress like the girls in videos, then they will have that hot guy with the mansion, porsche etc.
Then nots even get started on the mother who rocks all the Baby Phat, Dereon, Chanel & Rocawear–and her kids dress in salvation clothes with snotty noses, smelling like pee! Or Let’s not forget the dude who has the hottest truck with rims, wears nothing but name brand clothes thinking he is Jay Z or somebody and has about 5 kids running around town he dont EVEN take care of, but yet in still gots a new hot young chick on his arm-why? Because he got the hot truck with rims, hot clothes etc.
The clothes WILL go out of style, that hot young guy or girl WILL become middle aged, then a senior citizen, that model car and rims will soon be old, out of style and played out–and all your money will be gone–then what?
I must say this is a wonderful post and there should be more like it. We always need that balance.
Us as Americans, especially African Americans, need to remeber the old phrase, “Keeping Up with Jones” which was a term used for people who are constantly trying to keep up with the status of someone else, whether it be car, house, clothes, etc. As stated earlier, stop living beyond your needs to impress people who probably dont care anything about you. And if you have to have the “latest, most expensive” things in order for them to be around you, then you probably dont need those people in your life.
It’s sad to see people I know living in Section 8 housing, getting Food Stamps and driving 2007/2008 brand new cars but can’t even afford to pay their bills or don’t have any food in their fridge. And then some of them even have the nerve to look at you like they’re doing it big and you should be jealous. When I get paid, I pay all bills first AND give my 10% to the LORD (which is the least I can do knowing all that he’s done for me)…then if money is leftover, I can go shopping or whatever. Trust and believe I learned my lesson the hard way by tryna just spend, spend, spend before paying what is important first.
@1 i agree with you. i’m 19 yrs old i and i understood everything J. Dakar said. Now for the young people defense they are only doing what some “adults” find the most important. I’m not saying that you are saying that young people is the issue, but, you can’t point at the kids and say something wrong with them? No you have to look at what these supposedly wise adults are teaching these kids. The parents play a big role in this too. As well as the media (NO OFFENSE CL). They tell and show that life is easier when you’re rich so they buy into it. Being a young man myself i find it very sad that most young men and let’s not forget the young women think that the most important things in the world is getting a new fresh pair Air Forces. Don’t get me wrong i like me a pair fresh Forces too(LOLOLO) but it not my primary goal in my life. Hopefully they will grown out of it.
Good post ..more like these are needed on this forum:)
That Will Smith quote was very good and true, but i’m sorry coming from him it sounds like a contradiction.
15.
Flygirl
Self-Actualization is the upper level of Maslow’s Hiearchy of Needs. It’s a shame that so many can’t get past the lower levels of basic necessity. I’m a firm believer that self-actualization can be reached by anyone who can let go of desires and focus in their needs. People need to realize the difference between wants and needs. Sure your wants will satisfy today and even tomorrow, but 50 years from now your needs will be all that you have left.
J. You couldn’t have picked a more perfect time to write this. As a financial adviser in training your words are like music to my ears. Just yesterday I read an article in Long Island’s Newsday about how middle class earners are being “forced” to accept food from food pantries. A man who makes $70,000 a year and has a $4000 per month mortgage can’t afford to put food on the table? WTF? My mother who is divorced and single and who makes less than half that manages to get by because she knows not to live outside of her means. The Long Island Mentality is the same as it is across the country, just amplified ten times over.
People need to realize that you don’t have to own half of the block in order to feel like your worth something in this world. It’s not like you can take it with you at the end of the day. Sure it’s nice to live to good life, but the good life built upon a faulty foundation is worse than living “broke”, but care free.
This is an interesting post. I think however that just because you give to others doesn’t make you good person or happier. It’s more to than that. We see a lot of celebrities that give to charities all the time and are either openly nasty or in the closet nasty. It’s all about your motives. You can give and be just doing it to impress people or you want to write off on your taxes. Sure the people you give to get helped, but everybody who knows you won’t look at that but look at how such a mean person you truly are. So all i’m saying is if you going to give, give from the heart.
I have known people in my day who have gotten carried away with this whole concept of having to get everything now, knowing they couldn’t afford it. They have gotten themselves in a lot of trouble because of it. I can only hope that more young people will understand this earlier, so that they don’t get themselves in a lot of financial trouble. It’s hard to dig out of it once you fall in.
To #36- Your brother’s girlfriend obviously thinks she’ll be good with a child support check. It’s unfortunate, but if your brother sits back and accepts it, then there is not much you can say.
To Jscene….respect your opinion but I must share my opinion on some things you said. You stated “YOU GUYS DON’T REALLY BELIEVE IN THIS SPEECH ANYMORE THAN YOU BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS…”
I can only speak for my self when I say that it’s not just believing, it’s KNOWING that when you have been in situations before (such as myself) where you would pay to go to a club and buy a new outfit but haven’t even paid your car payment or light bill.
There is nothing wrong with being rich and having nice things…..its just when you believe that those things make or break you. It’s when you think those things determine your self worth and when it makes you feel like you are less than someone else who may have a little more than you do.
I don’t know about everybody else but I know that I dont come to CL to worship celebrities who can’t do anything for me. I worship the LORD above who I know is my help.
@27 you must have never saw “MTV CRIBS”LOLOLO or meet Kimora Lee Simmons.
LMAO @ JSCENE! I hear what you are saying but DAMN!!
Let me ask some of you something. If you say what he wrote is true, why do you live the way you live and confuse materialism with happiness 98% of the time until you read something like this?
Because it’s the American Way!! Capitalism at it’s finest!! We work to get what we dream about everynight and see on T.V. and if we don’t reach those goals or fall short of what we thought our life was supposed to be like we cop out and say moneys not everything and get self righteous. Money’s not everything if your going to spend it on frivalous things. But the Bible says a righteous man leaves an inheritence for his childrens children. So dont confuse chasin money with materialism. We all need to get out here and get it!!!
I’m 27 and I own my own insurance agency. I understand what’s important and materialism isn’t but how can I express that to a youngin if I llook like I’m broke!! The problem is our people need to stop hustlin for today and start building institutions for tomorrow and be able to express those sentiments with the youth. Don’t tell these kids moneys not important when the rest of the world says it is. We just have to show them what to do with it!!. Some of us in my generation just went about it the wrong way and now they’re livin check to check. Dont lie to the kids, tell them to chase wealth!!……
I didn’t realize until recently how much money I spend on nonsense.
I’d say I have just been recently content with what God has blessed me with. Whatever I am not happy with, Only I have the power to change it.
Great Post JD. It’s good to see a black man focus on things other than status.
Great Post !!!!
Lol, I agree with JSCENE. I don’t think that materialism is a threat to democracy because democracy is a facade to confuse the average U.S. citizen, in my opinion. It is idealistic and the philosophy of democracy is diametrically opposed to capitalism. America has always been predicated off of money and the rule of the few, never the will of the people. Why is it such a story how much money Obama has been able to raise if he is the choice of the people? The fact of the matter is that in America money matters and if you don’t have it, can’t generate it, or can’t get people to invest it in you, the common perception is that you don’t matter and neither does your opinion. This is why, in my opinion, people spend above their means. They want to appear to matter. It’s more effective for the few people that control America to make the peons think that they have a say than to actually give them a say. In all honesty, the opinion of the average person really has no merit in how a society should be run if the mind of the average person is not trained. Based on the average opinion that I hear voiced or see written down, I have to agree with the elite in their estimation that the common citizen does not deserve to have a direct say in how their society is run. The only difference is that the elite, and the average Americanized person, chooses Satan as their lightbringer as opposed to the Lord. The average person in America is placated by vanity so that is what they’re given in the form of sports and entertainment. This is why people worship these actors, singers, and athletes. This is also why the people that actually run America, and the world for that matter, can continue to do what they want as long as the people are ignorant and satisfied with crumbs. The Most High’s Word tells us how to live in order, how to love in order, and most importantly, how to be content. It takes our people years to figure out what the Lord has told us from the start (Eccl 5:13-15, Psa 49:16-20, Prov 11:4, Isa 52:3, Ezek 7:19, Zeph 1:18, Matt 6:19-21, Mark 10:17-27, Phil 4:11-13, I Tim 6:5-10,17-19). They still think that Satan has something to offer them.
J. Dakar,
I don’t know if I should thank Concreteloop first for giving you a voice here, or your ability to give these insightful and very important messages to its visitors. Everything you’ve mentioned in this post are the very things I’m coming to realize in my personal life as well.
I’ll be subscribing to your blog and commenting in depth at a more convenient time.
Thank you again!
Who says that just because you recognize that money isn’t the key to
happiness and that is doesn’t make you any more or less worthwhile,
doesn’t mean you don’t admire those who are on their grind. But I, for one,
don’t want to be anyone but who God made me and that “revelation” is one
that has saved me from myself plenty of times. I don’t want wealth at the
expense of self-respect. The Lord provides for me everyday– what I need
for THAT day. He has never left me and I can smile and thank him for
that EVERYDAY. I can’t ask for more. Now, what I am
blessed with I will gladly receive. But recognize that blessings come with
with the responsibility to bless and help others– not for “face time” but
b/c you have been blessed. Getting a new bag has never compared to
a genuine kiss from my neices and nephews, a gabfest/emotional night with
my girls whom I can trust wholeheartedly, an beautiful evening at home
with the man I love or knowing that the pray I just prayed has already been
heard and answered!
JSCENE LMAO!!!
Oprah is one of the biggest promoters of consumerism today. On one hand, there are shows showcasing getting out of debt, on the other hand, she has a whole magazine and other shows plugging products too expensive for even her own audience to afford. She is about showcasing humanity blah blah blah yet when honoring great black women at her famous ball, she gives them each a present–diamonds. Diamonds people; knowing full well that there are Africans being maimed and killed for those stones…
Will Smith is a hypocrite for that quote. Here is a man who currently is BFF with a known cult follower/promoter for no other reason that he thinks Cruise will help his career somehow yet he had the audacity to talk about folks implying they try keeping up with the jones???
Saw this vid sometime ago and thought it was appropriate.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvwK-3cQ6gE
Great post J. I was just recently looking at some things in my life that I want to change. In doing so I recently started participating in my co 401K..Shamed to say that I’ve not been doing this, however a lot of us don’t know how to invest, because we don’t read, know and are to emabrassed to ask for help. Even if you wait until you’re are 30 and put up a mere 10% of your earnings for the next 35 years, you’ll retire quite comfortably. Jesus says to tithe 10% of your income. If you put another 10% for you(as in investing) When you look down you have less money to blow on dumb ish. Next is finding a community program that I can give back using my time.
@83 exactly Will trying to sound so insightful when he only making his own self sound stupid.
I don’t get the deal with this J. Darker fellow…all he did was wrote what was politically correct, pull some nice quotes, and sprinkled some bullshit. Money isn’t anything??????????? MONEY IS EVERYTHINGGGGGGGGGG. MONEY IS FUCKING POWERRRR I agree with comment 64 and 77. I’ve heard much more profoundness and execution than this…. and niiiiice execution with the will smith quote… NOT.
And why generalize black people in such a negative light???? NOT ALL BLACK PEOPLE ARE OSTENTATIOUS.
I am late to this post but Jscene, Judah I applaud how you both eloquently decoded the flowery speech.
@65 WOW – YOU MUST BE THE PRIME EXAMPLE OF THE TYPE OF PEOPLE YOU DESCRIBE US TO BE. YOU OBIVIOUSLY EXPECTED TO BE A BALLER AT SOME POINT IN LIFE AND DID NOT MAKE IT YOUR DAMN SELF. SO INSTEAD OF OPENING YOUR MIND AND FINDING A DIFFERENT PATH, YOUR NARROW HEADED MIND CONVINCED YOURSELF THIS IS WHERE THE BUCK STOPS FOR ME BUT I’M NOT HAPPY WITH THAT. THAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US AND YOU.WE HAVE LIVED AND LEARN AND ARE LEARNING MORE THROUGH ANY MEANS NECESSARY. YOU ARE YOU’RE ENEMY ,YOUR OWN DISSAPOINTMENT. DON’T HATE ON US FOR WANTING TO BE INSPIRED AND SPREAD THAT INSPIRATION TO OTHERS.
JUST SAD!!!!
65 – YOU ARE A HATER!!!!
GOD PUT US ON THIS EARTH TO EXPERIENCE AND OBTAIN EVERYTHING LIFE HAS TO OFFER….
DON’T THINK BECAUSE YOU DIDN’T GET THAT CAR, HOUSE, JOB ETC YOU WANTED-”THE BUS STOPS HERE”…. NEVER, AND I MEAN NEVER, LIMIT YOURSELF!!!!! THAT IS BAD MENTALITY… I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO TELL YOU……. EXCEPT STOP SITTING AROUND AND WAITING FOR GOD TO BLESS U AND GET YOUR ASS UP AND MAKE SOME DAMN MOVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!