Not only is April National Food Month. It’s also National Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs) Awareness Month, a health observance created to increase awareness about STDs, including their transmission, prevention and treatment.
Most people are aware of HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, but there are over twenty other STDS out there and we must do something to stop these diseases from plaguing our communities.
A recent study by The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reported that one in four adolescent girls, ages 14 to 19, is infected with one or more of these diseases: trichomoniasis, genital herpes, human papilloma virus (HPV) and chlamydia. The study also revealed 48% of black teen girls are infected with at least one of the diseases.
“High STD infection rates among young women, particularly young African-American women, are clear signs that we must continue developing ways to reach those most at risk,” said John M. Douglas, Jr., M.D., director of CDC’s Division of STD Prevention. “STD screening and early treatment can prevent some of the most devastating effects of untreated STDs.”
The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has said in a report that latex condoms are “highly effective” at preventing infection by chlamydia, trichomoniasis, HIV, gonorrhea. Abstinence is the only sure way to avoid STDs, but those who choose to engage in sex (any type, by the way) need to be informed of ways they can minimize the spread of STDs.
Hivtest.org can provide you with a testing site near you. Some of them offer free, anonymous and confidential testing so there is no excuse for not taking advantage of this service.
After you know your status (and we hope it’s negative), the next step is to learn more about preventing STDs so it stays that way. This 10-question Mayo Clinic quiz is a great place to test your knowledge of sexual safety and inform yourself on the issue.
A condom is your second-best protection, but it’s only effective when used consistently and correctly. The American Social Health Association has compiled a list of do’s and don’ts for condom use.
For more info, check out the STD Awareness Month website and the STD Info Page from the CDC.
To #17… instead of posting that link for us, why didn’t you send it to the FBI (WHERE IT MATTERS) so they can investigate it and make an arrest if need be. Youtube saves EVERYONES ip addy, so they have the creep’s identity. I agree its a good tactic to promote the blog post but I would rather feel better knowing you sent it to the cops instead of linking it on a blog for water cooler chit-chat.To #24, that is scary. In fact, that’s VERY SCARY.To #44, are you stupid? You sound like another ignorance ass black person who always feels someone is trying to call you out racially or scare you. Dumbass, you should be scared because AIDS IS VERY REAL AND FATAL. Anyone who agrees w/ #44 should get the rose-colored glasses slapped the shit off your face AND leave a bruise. GET THE FUCK OVER YOUR ETHINCITY and LISTEN. Ppl aren’t conducting studies to bruise your ego, they are trying to fucking educate your ass so be thankful. DO YOU know the majority of the black population? I think not so how the fuck would you know who has AIDS or STIs? Hell, you probably know less than 1% like any other normal person. Ppl can get tested BUT HIV can hide for up to 30 YEARS. Hell it can even hide in your DNA until mutated into AIDS and THEN decide to show. I hate ppl like you. You further spread ignorance by preaching about shit you know nothing about. Obviously the only AIDS epidemic you know of is the one in Africa (where the lack of health care and other vital things help showcase the situation). Just cause you don’t see ppl dying in the street, have daily media coverage about new AIDS cases and see dead bodies along the road DOES NOT mean ppl are not dying at home or in the hospital. WAKE THE FUCK UP. There are MILLIONS of ppl in the US alone so unless you know 1 MILLION of those ppl… you know shit about actual representation. Also those statistics come from ppl who WERE tested… just think about all the others they missed. Now THAT should scare you!
Also to all my lesbians, don’t think STIs discriminate. I was just talking about this on Downelink…. I know of TWO females (thru mutal friends). One has herpes while the other found out she has herpes, HPV and chlamydia. Why is this something I was talking about? Because BOTH women were having unprotected sex w/ other FEMALE partners. STIs DO NOT pick a sexual orientation to wreak havoc upon… it goes where it wants blindly. So next time you decide to have a one night stand: wrap your mouth w/ a dental dam AND strap the strap (HVP is contradicted w/in the lesbian community thru unprotected straps because the bacteria can stay w/in the spores of the dildo)! Even if you’re in a committed relationship… GET TESTED. Me and my girl have been together for almost 2 years BUT we still have been tested on the regular. You life is NOTHING to play w/….
Bill, it’s true that African-Americans would hide that. It’s nothing to brag about; but again this is not a African-American only problem. We have to know what’s up with living in this society. I would like to say this also. One white doctor was working in South Africa, and the journalist ask him about AIDS in South Africa. The doctor said “if Aids was at such high rates as the media makes it out to believe you would see many dead people out on the streets.” and he said it’s because the population is poor.
I want you all to read this and tell me what you think. http://www.natural-health...on-centre.com/africa.html
Secondly, we have to always question, and I mean “Question” with a capital “Q” any reports coming from a people who thinks you are beneath them. Do the Fake Jews, have to go and ask Germans about their behavior during the war? Same here.
South Africa is a place that was long and still is covet by “whites” and they planned but God of planners. I’m sure when they planted the Aids in Africa they thought they would be “native South Africans” free by now. Ha! Ha! Ha! They want Africa and that’s not a lie. With all the bad crap you hear in the media about Africa being this and Africa is that, why are they still there and ready to lie, steal, kill to stay there? Why do they have to lie so damn much in the media? You know why? They said “African-American, don’t read books they believe all they see on tv.
I’m going to need African-American to use the internet to educate themselves on our real history. Especially that “Jews are originally black” and that’s not a myth. I advise anyone to visit my people in Egypt and go look at the pyramids and see if you see anything white inside. The Jews of today, the one America is fighting so hard to protect are nothing but Russians. Take back our glory folks and take back our traditional education.
Sorry about my English, it’s not my first language. Also why on an application here in America you have “North Africans” as white, lol! That shit is crazy as all hell. So, I would like them to take their stats and read it to their grandma’s because it’s simple not true.
Also I know their stats are bogus, because if you are bi-racial and can pass for white you are considered white, even though you are technically living black for other reasons. So, when they do the reports since my father (North African) is according to them “white” and my Mom” mixed” and I look white. Am I white? gtfoh, lol
Kezzy, you might hate us, but the truth being told. Why is some Spanish and North Africans not counted in these stats when they are “black”? Since we are ignorant and stupid.
We are just saying those stats are bogus and that’s all I’m going to say. My dad is Nubia but because he is North African, he has to check white, according to US explanation of “color” how is a Nubian considered “white” explain this to me.
GREAT POST!! Please also SPREAD the word to your aunts, uncles, divorced parents and grandparents! STDS/AIDS is on the RISE in the older population! The older folks don’t have pregnancy to worry about so they aren’t using protection like they should!! I also have had a couple of relatives die of pneumonia..and other listed causes but they were the effects of AIDS and many people don’t want that broadcast so they will tell you a family member died of something else.
#57 I understand you are getting the point across that AIDS is killing the black community. But beating up on someone will not do anything but put someone on the defensive. The person is not being ignorant, only critical of statistics. As long as she is protecting herself (which I would bet that she is) that is all she can do. She cannot force black people or white people or anyone else to protect themselves.
BubblinBrownSugar said:
I also have had a couple of relatives die of pneumonia..and other listed causes but they were the effects of AIDS and many people don’t want that broadcast so they will tell you a family member died of something else.
Bill Said:
The thing is no one with AIDS is likely to run up & down the block shouting “Guess what..I have AIDS” !!
That person may (because of their depression/drug addiction, etc, etc) likely infect someone else……
No one with an STD will run out and tell all their friends…
A person with a STD could even goes as far and infect YOU
It’s a sick reality that happens everyday…
Parents cannot moderate a child’s choice of music or lyrics. Only people who don’t have children make such statements, usually. Anyone with a teenager knows that you cannot control every single thing they do especially when they are with friends. All parents can do is TRY to instill morals in their children and teach them to be safe.
———
Somewhat true, but this is a new age and things can be moderated.You can block TV stations , you even can block sites from the internet.No person should be making an excuse.These people on TV whether it be rappers or Britney Spears are not role models.
And statistics are what it is.It’s not accurate maybe precise.But for AA to lead the pack just doesn’t sound quite right because who are they reporting?Why don’t they say what kind of environment they testing?I find it so hard to believe with such things like Girls Gone Wild which is catered to white people.I never did believe statistics though just like the census, shit just don’t add up.Oh well, I’m just speaking for myself.
One of the many misleading facts that I hope CL mentions this month is that Herpes can be transmitted with condom use. That is the most misleading fact. A person with sores or infected areas in the lower vagina or scrotum area can give you herpes with a condom. Condoms don’ t always cover the entire penis. Another fact is that many opeople don’t even know they are infected and it can be years before an outbreak ever occurs. Herpes is one of the hardest STI’s to trace back to the source. I think there needs to be a louder message about Herpes transmissions. So to all you condom wearing hypocrites… herpes can still bite you in the ass (literally)!
I’m so glad that their finally making a month. Teens and Adults need to really be aware of this. It’s an very touchy subject, but we need to know. Teens are starting to have sex at a very yound age,and they need to know about this. “What brings you pleasure also brings you pain”. I’m seriously a living witness not of catching an STD but of doing it with someone and having that person write me off. It’s not a good feeling. Trust me.
TumTumTumTUm said:
#57 I understand you are getting the point across that AIDS is killing the black community. But beating up on someone will not do anything but put someone on the defensive. The person is not being ignorant, only critical of statistics. As long as she is protecting herself (which I would bet that she is) that is all she can do. She cannot force black people or white people or anyone else to protect themselves.
Bill Said:
I think members of the LGBT community are a little more educated about AIDS HIV & STD’s, so as a result they get very “impatient” when other make statements that are crtical of the people who are dying from those diseases.
I would suspect that Kezzy has lost a lot of friends/loved ones to AIDS, so she is “angry” that people are dismissing AIDS as some sort of mad scientist invension cooked up by the evil white man…..
I don’t know how AIDS got here, who created it, or where it came from, but I’m just as pissed off as Kezzy that I have lost friends & family member to that horrible disease.
See, if there is one thing I will listen to the LGBT COMMUNITY
……See, if there is one thing I will listen to the LGBT COMMUNITY lecture about and that is the effects of AIDS/HIV on the Black Community.
I think they can speak from first hand experience.
I think they know what they are talking about.
True enough Bill, but the Asea person was being skeptical, not dismissive of the people suffering from AIDS. In any case, all we as individuals can do is protect ourselves.
Ralph Fiennes that white actor from England was a UN spokesperson for AIDS but on a plane he had unprotected sex with a flight attendant in the bath stall. All this means is that many people SAY they protect themselves every time but it simply is not always true. We can scream at one another until the our voices are nonexistent but in the grand scheme of things people will do what they want in the heat of the moment. Its sad.
TumTumTumTUm said:
True enough Bill, but the Asea person was being skeptical, not dismissive of the people suffering from AIDS. In any case, all we as individuals can do is protect ourselves.
Ralph Fiennes that white actor from England was a UN spokesperson for AIDS but on a plane he had unprotected sex with a flight attendant in the bath stall. All this means is that many people SAY they protect themselves every time but it simply is not always true. We can scream at one another until the our voices are nonexistent but in the grand scheme of things people will do what they want in the heat of the moment. Its sad.
Bill Said:
It is Sad.
Here something even worse.
At my church there is a HIV Outreach Ministry.
We have at least 4 WOMAN at my church who have contracted HIV from their HUSBANDS.
See…That’s why this subject makes me so angry, because those woman were INNOCENT, Good, God Fearing Wives, fulfilling their marriage vows, and their filthy down low husbands came home and infected them…..
I’ve seen innocent women & innocent babies with HIV…….
Seeing these things will make a person very angry.
I’ve seen people living with HIV.
I’ve also seen people who have died from HIV (more than 15).
Protect yourselves people……
Peace
I know a majority of the posts are regarding HIV, but I just wanted to add that HPV (Human Papilloma Virus) is a very common STD that can have tragic and/or deadly consequences.
Anyway, I would imagine that the reason why HPV is so common is b/c it is spread through skin to skin contact, meaning that if the virus lives on a part of the skin that is not covered by a condom, then you can still be infected. Also, men can carry the virus without any symptoms (unless he has the strain of virus which produces genital warts, which in that case he’d know he has HPV). If males aren’t symptomic, there is no way for them to know that they have the virus until their partner has an abnormal pap smear. And by then it’s too late, he’s already passed on the virus. What does an abnormal pap smear mean for women? It means that there are precancerous changes on the cells of their cervix (and/or the entry into their uterus). The HPV virus causes abnormal replication of cells in the skin. In other words, the viral particle gives healthy cells “directions” to replicate faster than usual. It should be noted that pre-cancer is not the same as cancer, it just means that those abnormal cells have a greater chance ot turning into cancer than normal cells. For the most part abnormal replication is benign, but depending on an individual’s propensity for cancer, it can turn malignant. Fortunately, it takes a very long time for pre-cancerous cells on the cervix to turn into cancer, but everyone’s body is different and some strains of HPV are responsible for more aggressive types of squamous cell carcinoma (cancer).
Another scary fact is that cervical cancer rarely has alarming symptoms, so a woman could have cancer and not know it until a routine pap smear picks up the abnormality. Treatment for invasive cervical cancer can include removal of the cervix (which means that a woman will have little or no chance of holding a baby in the womb), or even worse, radical hysterectomy if the cancer has spread into the uterus. Cervical cancer can also spread to other local organs like the bladder or the intestines. All of that from a STD…
HPV was (and still is) thought of something that exclusively affects women adversely b/c the virus prefers to wreck havoc on the cervix (a warm, moist area), but the same strains of HPV that cause cervical cancer have also been implicated in other forms of cancer including anal, oral, and penile. While these cases are rare, they are still possible and as long as there is a possibility, everyone needs to take preventative care if they suspect they’ve been expose to the virus. What would does that mean? It means that women need to get their pap smears at least once a year. Even though cervical cancer death is rare, minority women are dying from it more b/c they do not have access to medical care to get the preventative exams. They do not seek medical attention until there is serious pain or bleeding, and unfortunately by then it may be too late. It’s very important to know where you can go for free preventative care. If you do not know, check out your county or city’s health department website or office. Pap smears will detemine whether precancerous cells are present. If there are pre-cancerous cells, then they will be removed by freezing them off, cutting them out, or lasering them off which are very routine procedures and will save your life (and reproductive organs). Also, women AND men should see their dentist at least once a year for an oral cancer screening if they participate in oral sex. As I mentioned, HPV has been implicated in oral cancer. Even if you personally do not perform oral sex, if you kiss your partner that performs oral sex, then the possibility of transmission is there. HPV causing oral cancer is rare, but it can sometimes cause squamous cell carcinoma on the tongue, roof the the mouth, and/or inside the cheeks. In it’s early stages, oral cancer may not be noticable to you b/c it’s so small, or it may be disguised as something else like a canker sore. That’s why it’s important to have a professional screen you once a year. I don’t know how many people watch the daytime drama As The Word Turns, but the actress that plays “Barbara Ryan” had oral cancer in real life. She was not a smoker nor did she chew tobacco. But they found HPV dna in her tumor. She had to have a part of her tongue removed which caused her to have a slight speech impediment and need speech therapy. She is still working on the show, but her slight slur is noticable. All that from a STD….
If you have anal sex, then it’s possible for HPV to spread there and cause anal cancer. It may not be the most comfortable thing in the world, but if you are concerned about anal cancer, then get a colonoscopy done every couple of years. It’s better to go through a bit of discomfort to get a clear conscious. And finally, HPV causing penile cancer is very rare due to the physical anatomy of the penis. It doesn’t have alot of open muscosal tissue like the vagina, mouth, or anus (which is the kind of skin the virus likes to live in). But men can find out if they have a “high-risk” strain (cancer causing strain) of HPV by getting the HPV dna test done. They will swab the inside of the penis (or vagina) and the results will tell you what strain of HPV you have (if any). Unforunately, if a man finds out he is a carrier of a high risk strain of HPV, there is no course of “treatment” if he is otherwise healthy. But at least knowing this and having it in your medical record will help you and your doctor have a better picture of your health should any problems arise in the future.
I must note that having HPV isn’t a reason to feel alarmed or paranoid, nor is it an indication that you will definitely develop some form of cancer, but it’s important to know that the risk is there and to do what you can to prevent it from turning into cancer. Knowledge is power. So being informed will help you take better care of yourself, do things to build up your immunity, be more alert to changes in your body, and most importantly, inform your partner(s).
I apologize for the long post and if my thoughts were scattered. I think that we (the Black community) get swept up by the hot button issues, but we don’t get the FULL picture of what is (or could be) affecting our community. I appreciate how J. Dakar’s posts try to shed light on a myriad of issues that affect us, not just the popular ones.
Kezzy, I’m not trying to be hard on you. After reading what Bill said about being frustrated, I sincerely apologize if I came across as someone who didn’t care.
I’m just saying that “Aids, is not an African-American thing only” and I would like to see really how they come up with these stats. You see there is never a serious topic in America that we can’t put race and racism in the equation. That’s just how the racist wants us to think, that it’s all in our heads. That we should be happy with the stats, that they put out. I stand by what I said. I do, because I’m a person who can pass for white and I do sometimes just to hear what the others have to say.
What’s crazy is some people have not a clue I’m African-American. I’m tired of defending African-Americans against bias, and then proceeding to tell our community what I’ve learn, heard, for me to get such response, and being called crazy.
What amaze me is how some people are willing, and I mean eager to be “Uncle Tom” today. Because you came off so aggressive to Aseya, you are the typical person “the man” would target to attack other blacks. Your words were such rage, and, basically they would build you up to say we are all “equal” and “let’s be glad” and happy, they are trying to help us. LOL!
If that was the case, why go all the way to Iraq, to a people who didn’t ask you for help to free them. When you have children in the inner cities that need “freedom” too.
They need freedom to equal education, healthcare, to be treated like little people that will one day rule this country. That’s what “freedom” is.
Let’s get equal education totally and then do a stats; then we can talk about this percentage and that. African-American need to worry about this, and other things too. If you don’t like how you are treated and disrespected in your neighborhoods, then put the people out of business. How can you complain about how Koreans treat you so badly, yet, addicted to their hair? lol! Their business rely on you, so, if you don’t do business with them and go to another store. They would be force to go out of business or respect you.
Again, I’m not one for the “mad scientist myth” because truly the one or governments who made AIDS, weren’t mad at all. We have to remember according to some people;”Africans, Gays, and Lesbians are subhuman and not worth wasting our time on. I know they would love to see away with the both groups, for which, none is going anywhere until it’s time. To some government and people, Africans and GL equal the same and they could care less if both or gone off the planet. So “mad scientist” nope, don’t believe in it. He is or was quite “intelligent” so he thought.
My statement was about the stats and not that it doesn’t exist; only it’s not a particular African-American thing as reported.
I hope you feel me! Peace out!
It is True the media doesn’t help promoting safe sex with the videos, shows like maury and worse letting that hot ass Britney spears sister still have a show on nickoldeon. But when you look at it We the community and parents are the true role models.
I don’t think the parents of kids of this generation have even had the “talk” with the their kids.
More than anything we should be telling our kids these people on TV are not real. They are playing “roles” wheter they are in videos or not. They have to portrary a certain image because its in their job description.
I am a mother of a 9 year old girl and I aint simply telling her sex is no good or wait till your married.
I am telling her SEX FEELS GOOD BUT IT CAN KILL YOU. Because that is the truth- this flesh that we have is a gift but it can also be a deadly weapon.
There are children that have these diseases through the parents and don’t even know it. And these days they are experimenting earlier then they were before.
We are the educators We are the role models
Other people are simply influences. We are the ones that got to Educate them early and make sure they make the right descisions and leave the door open so they can come talk to us when they need to.
Me and my BFF already discuss bringing our YOUNG ladies to this hospital/hospice care where they can see the effects of people dying of AIDS and Cancer- simply so they can see where being irresponsible (in some cases) with your body can get you.
Hmmm…………
To Kezzy: No, I’m actually not stupid, thank you very much. If I were a different kind of person I’d be offended by what you said. But I’m not at all. Does that bother you? We don’t know eachother and you have a right to your angry opinion
That’s all I have to say to you.
To the other folks, in no shape or form am I trying to dismiss that STD’s is a huge problem in our community. It is. I’ve had 2 family members die from AIDS. I know many people who have had STD’s at one time or another. This is not an absract idea.
But I’ve also worked in clinics and nonprofits for 10 years. Do you really think the government cares about us so much??? “Hey lets warn the little Black girls!! They’re in trouble!!” Whatever. The intention, like I said, is to hurt, not HELP.
I asked my 13 year old neice what she thought about this and she said, frowning: “It makes me feel bad about myself….” And she’s a virgin! I’ll explain it to her, but its a fact that when you feed these images into the heads of girls who are already vulnerable, they’ll abuse their bodies even more. Anyone who took Psych knows that. Let’s be a part of the help, not te harm.
Statistics LIE. You go ahead and believe everything uncle sam tells you! Please. I guess you believed Bush when he says we aren’t in a recession? Or that we are winning the Iraq war..? Or that there are more Black men in jail than in college? LIES.
I commend the girl who says her and her boyfriend got tested togeher. That is wonderful. Here’s a statistic for you – what if I announced to the world: 48% of you on here right now have a nasty STD right now just marinating down there!! How do you feel about that? The truth hurts, but lies hurt more.
I agree about showing these girls reality and not just some textbook info from a teacher who could care less. When I was in school we were shown horrible videos of people with sores, lessions, blisters… AWFUL. We had a woman with AIDS come and speak to us, and bless her heart she was great, but she looked so sick and miserbale. I agree with that type of education. Scare ‘em straight!
It is not a game. I had my HIV test in Feb ’08 and my other “cultures” (STD tests) about 3 weeks ago. All were negative so I’m good.
I have always felt that I am a gift to whomever I decide to have relations with b/c I offer a disease-free good time. They must offer the same or they can keep it moving.
Ladies & Gentlemen, we are all gifts…appreciate yourselves and don’t take your health for granted.
-Avanti
KUDOS to Concrete Loop for bringing the awareness…
Lets not make this just a one month lesson. This should be year-round!!!
@53 I disagree there is a lot of coverage about STDS. You can’t go a month without reading, hearing, or watching something about this subject. PEOPLE JUST DON’T CARE! Smokers know that smoking is hazardous to their health and they continue to do it. Criminals know that what they’re doing is a crime and they continue to do it anyway. You can talk about it tell your blue in the face all you want. People are going to continue doing what they want to do until it catches up with them and that’s the sad truth.
THANK YOU CONCRETELOOP!
Even the comments are amazing and insightful! Asea I agree with u scare em straight! It worked with me. I saw the SADDEST video that had real interviews with AIDS patients, one was a family with a 6 year old son. One of the parents unknowingly infected the other and then the little boy caught it and he died shortly after the interview. Another was a 19 year old man who died 6 weeks after finding out he had HIV. After seeing that video I am NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER gonna do something that will put me at risk cuz I only have one life. And remember people IT ONLY TAKES 1 TIME TO GET INFECTED!!!
oh by the way the video was called something like ‘Sex, Lies, and The Truth’
That video is not real. It’s meant to be a wake up call people. Yes it is scary or sick, but alot of women in our community need wake up calls. The scenarios that he has described happen so often that it’s sickening. Women giving up the coochie just because you drive an Escalade or have a nice chain is all too common. Women nowadays love to feel empowered by sex or the freedom to fuck whomever or whatever they want but they need to take heed to the consequences.
ASEA, I agree with what you said about statistics, there are flaws and errors with statistics and you can’t believe everything in the study because they judge the entire population based on a few (1 out 10 tested) sample or set tested. You have to know where the test was conducted (was it for a poor area, city, urban, rural area) and most of the time it’s in inner cities. I do understand the severity of the cause, we’re talking about a topic that most people are afraid to talk about because they want to annihilate themselves from the problem. I can honestly say for the younger generation (not excluding any other generation) that there is a lack of self respect and that in it’s own self stems from home, you really got to ask your self where are the parents? And parents need to be “IN THE KNOW”-meaning that you have to know what’s going on in you children’s lives. I agree scare tactics do work. I like the message in this post. Thanks J Dakar. And everyone keep it safe and value yourself more than anyone and anything out here.
I saw the trash man (the black young man who said he gave all those girls HIV) if this is true or not be careful… dont fall for no one…. men will respect you more if you ask about a condom…. and believe it or not the way the trashman thinks other people think theyre teaching people a lesson by spreading the disease. and the girls were young like 15,16,17…. young girls, dont let these grown men with material things have you having sex….. go to school… its more to yourself than trying to get with the next rich man…. use your head so you wouldnt need any dude to make a dicission that can alter your life….. Fathers….. uncles help your daughter and nieces out… tell them what to expect from a man… dont that let some dude give you a line about how much he loves you and then youre sleeping with him, if you think youre ready to have sex ask dude for a condom… if youre to embarrase to ask him questions and ask him about a condom, you dont need to have sex with him, yall need to be friends…. mothers… aunt… teach these boys how to respect these girls… Im gonna tell you three of my cousins died from aids….. three…. one year apart…. I saw them deteriorate…. I didnt wanna have sex for years…. I only slept with one guy one time with protection and that was my senior year of college and after I slept with him I was so scared I went and got an AIDS test I was negative (of course) but he didnt want to get tested so we broke up…. we saw eachother around campus said hye no bad feelings but no more sex either because I saw first hand three times how AIDS affect my family… Im black and I noticed that we were the only ones that knew the family members contracted AIDS, when people asked us what happened my family would say the person just got sick and died but they had mates who didnt know either… black families we need to talk about this disease, cause its hitting us hard…. very hard
@81Avanti, you better hope your “disease fee good time” remains in tact, with that carefree attitude, it sounds as though you are open to taking dangerous risks then banking on negative test results. If the partner that you choose has to be disease free as well, what are you doing to ensure this? Are you asking for recent STD test results? Seriously. I will pass on that game of Russian Roulette.
I am one of the few women of color, who at this time has chosen to practice abstinence. It has been a long while (4 years), and although this lifestyle may not be an option for other women, because of a lack of self control, I think it is the most viable choice in these uncertain times. Men are just ruthless now a days. Especially men of color. It’s sad to realize that our counterparts are really our worst enemies but it is true. They lie, cheat, disguise, go to jail have sex with men, and come out only to infect our naive women, lets not even talk about the ever-growing popularity of down-low brothers who front as heterosexuals but engage in risky sexual acts with other men- it’s disgusting. Men of any race, are suppose to take care of their women, but in the case of men of color, it seems they are really on the track of destroying
women of color slowly but surely.
Turn on the radio. Listen. Record sales are low, and artist know the Gangster image is played out, so now it’s an over-drive of lyrics about infidelity, secret affairs, stealing other people’s partners, raunchy sexual imagery,degrading, explicit sexual acts being described….it goes on and on.
I mean the top 3 songs in hip/hop and r&b right now all boast raunchy sexual behaviors ( Touch My Body, Lolipop, Love in this Club), Have you ever read the actual lyrics to Lolipop! My goodness! That boy is so gross! And I love MC, but I am not letting anyone tape me having sex- period! And um, I dont know about you all, but I am not making love to anybody in the club!
GOD BLESS US ALL
Star,
I’m not trying to talk down to you. I just think it’s foolish for anyone to say abstinence is the solution for AIDS.
Sorry, it’s just one of the plague we get for all the shit we do for living the type of ungodly lifestyles we are living. Don’t live according to God’s word; and the plagues will come on. Diseases, earthquakes, stuff like that. Everyone won’t to pretend that these things weren’t quoted in the Bible. What ever, I’m not going to argue God’s word. Believe it or don’t believe it.
We are suppose to get married and have sex with our spouses. Abstinence don’t prevent AIDS, only stops the person at the moment. But what about those women that get married and still got AIDS from their husbands? They are not sleeping around, they wanted to protect themselves thru marriage. What we need to really address is “our ungodly, unholy lifestyles and us not taking the word of God seriously. This is every race on the planet, not just Blacks. Where are the damn preachers today talking about not having sex until marriage? where are the preachers that are keeping it real, it’s nothing wrong with getting married young. Hell, it’s better to get married young and if you want to start a family doing it then. Marriage and children don’t mean life is ending. Where is the family support? C’mon we know most of our parents from the 60′s and 70′s were young parents, but with the help of their parents were able to make it. Where is those same parents now to support us and the young ones today? Some have forgotten they too were young and needed family support. A lot of those same parents don’t have time to support their children; but have time to go to clubs like some teenager. The 70s was the last of the “Big Mama” and thank God, I had one. It made a lot of difference. It’s the sign of the times. I miss my “Big Mama” too. Love her to pieces! So, let’s talk about that. Sex is a good thing, and will continue to be, but within the correct avenue.
I’m happy for you and I know you are trying, but after trying to protect yourself. What if you still get affected? God forbid Sista! I’m not wishing that for you; but it happens and it’s happening to a lot of innocent people, a lot.
I do agree! Those songs are gross as hell! Again, we have to teach the little ones, because I’m sure as gross as “lil Wayne is, he wouldn’t allow this on his daughter. I’m sure Usher ain’t making love in the clubs, and MC…hahahaha! she is just gross period! But, they are not suppose to do anything except entertain people and not teach our children. I don’t listen to this thing today called music anyway, so, I wouldn’t know. Give me old RnB.
We in the black community need to talk to our kids about sex and std’s as uncomfortable as it might be. Knowledge is power…
My bf sister sister died from AIDS but they tell her four daughters she died from cancer, I think they shouldn’t lie but tell them the truth and hopefully it will give them something to think about and hopefully prevent the same thing happening to them.
@ BUCKTHAT
I am not saying that abstinence is the cure for AIDS. I am saying that it is the most realistic form of protection against the deadly disease. I also said making the choice to practice is not for everyone.
Also, at this point and time, any women married to or committed to a black male in a relationship should require from him an HIV/AIDS & STD Test every six months, no if ands or butts! Marriage does not shield anybody from HIV, and any women who believes this is very naive. Again, popular culture ( music, tv, radio, magazines) boast infidelity in marriages, so a woman not thinking twice about her husbands extra-curricular activities is really being senseless!
You make it seem like the situation with HIV is hopeless and that there are no ways a women can protect herself from being a victim of this deadly disease! That is not the attitude to have in these perilous times!
Women get smart- This will not happen to me, by the grace of God, because I am smart! I do not make decisions based on ideals. Like, the ideal of marriage being sacred, so I wont need to worry about STD’S once I get married- yeah right! Most down- low brothers are married!
I think its funny how women of color will spend excessive amounts of money on clothes, shoes, and even hair, but will laugh at the advice of investing in protecting themselves from cruel men who do not have their best interest at heart. What I mean is ladies, aside from requiring that a man show you an up to date test result periodically, why not hire a private investigator to watch him for a week or two- believe me, it will only take a few days for a man’s true lifestyle to be exposed. Men are who they are, and cannot control the desire to be their true selves. Even if their true selves are hideous and cruel! BE CAREFUL!!!
oh and at #90 Buckthat–you hit the nail on the head–very well said…i thought that I was the only one that felt that way, especially about the church—it hasn’t been taught where I am yet–touched on but not taught
I was recently diagnosed with an STD from an ex of mine. The sad part about it is she bragged on my answering machine how she gave it to me and she was glad….So I retaliated by puting it on myspace for the world to hear…..Lol now she ain’t laughing no more. So the word to the wise …..Don’t mess with …. a woman scorned…..To hear it go http://www.myspace.com/dyzihre27 and scroll to the last song on my page it reads Ericka’s Tardy’s STD confession.