@ I’m Just Saying …Thank you … Sometimes CL do not think before they type…

It’s ridiculous some people here claim ”it’s a white thing”. It is evident that some black people on here are very close minded.I’m indian, so your telling me there is not one indian or hindu.Whom havent commited suciude due to there fatal thinking (problems)…LOL… the most poltroon thing i have ever heard. Regarding sucide = to race. Ridicuous… If one is depressed or decides to disconnect their life from the world.They’re going to do it regardless of whether they are Blue,Red,White or Brown…

@ I’m Just Saying …Thank you .Sometimes CL do not think before they type…

It’s ridiculous some people here claim ”it’s a white thing”. It is evident that some black people on here are very close minded.I’m indian, so your telling me there is not one indian or hindu.Whom havent commited suciude due to there fatal thinking (problems)…LOL… the most poltroon thing i have ever heard. Regarding sucide = to race. Ridicuous… If one is depressed or decides to disconnect their life from the world.They’re going to do it regardless of whether they are Blue,Red,White or Brown…

@ I’m Just Saying …Thank you … Sometimes theydo not think before they type…

It’s ridiculous some people here claim ”it’s a white thing”. It is evident that some black people on here are very close minded.I’m indian, so your telling me there is not one indian or hindu.Whom havent commited suciude due to there fatal thinking (problems)…LOL… the most poltroon thing i have ever heard. Regarding sucide = to race. Ridicuous… If one is depressed or decides to disconnect their life from the world.They’re going to do it regardless of whether they are Blue,Red,White or Brown.

sos for the multiple posts.they dont seem to usually upload mine :S

It is very sad indeed. Then again, how can the black male rise up when he is so disenfranchised by a discriminatory system which is designed to keep them at the bottom.

There is not such thing as “equality” in America.

Suicide is really growing in our black communities. I was just informed this morning that a close friend of mine ended his life two days ago and I just cannot believe. I keep trying to think of what was so bad and so terrible that he felt death was his only outlet. Did he think of his wife and kids or even the future? We as a people have got to become aware of the issues out there. Some of the events that have been taking place in this world are not just “a white thing.” We are all risk and subject to any and everything. My heart truly goes out to everyone and the families that have been affected!

Great Post! Thanks for sharing your personal story, I know that it has encouraged many people to not give up on life! I am glad that you addressed the stigma associated with getting mental health treatment. I think everyone can benefit from talking with a therapist. Life can and will get overwhelming at times, everyone needs someone to talk to or support them. Some people may not have the support that they need from family or friends. So having a counselor can definitely come in handy. I do not know where I would be without my relationship with God and family support!

Concreteloop is the best!!! Keep up the great work!

LOL @ People saying CL don’t think before they type…..

AND SOME OF YOU NEED A READING COMPREHENSION CLASS.

That sentence about “suicide being a white thing” was in pink because it is a stereotype and the way that sentence is introduced is a literary way of asking a RHETORICAL question (As in some people reading this post may have thought that). obviously j. dakar doesn”t believe that seeing as he is a living testimony and is raising awareness. And if some people here DID think that at one point think that, it’s ok. That’s the point of posts like this. WOW @ the posters on this site.

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Anyway, this is very sad. I personally haven’t though about suicide — because of my family, and yes GOD. Some people are able to handle a little bit more, and I’m one of them. Yes, I was teased for ‘acting gay’ for years, and I am gay. around late middle school, I just learned to be more quiet at school and be more masculine, because who wants to be teased? Yes, I am closeted (but not DL) and my parents wouldn’t accept. My mother throws “fag” around like nothing.

I don’t think anyone here wants everyone to all of a sudden “accept being gay” because everyone has their own beliefs. But it is possible that these kids COULD have been gay.. and even if they weren’t we are led to believe that you are the dirt beneath everyone’s feet if you have that label attached to you.

I absolutely agree with getting therapy. That is also something that is shunned as a ‘white thing’ in our community. People think you have to be “crazy” to see a psychiatrist. But to be honest, most people don’t feel comfortable telling their families everything. Also, our community doesn’t accept spending money on something like a therapist, and some don’t have it if they want to. There is just a WHOLE lot of stuff that needs to be addressed.

There are really no words that I can say on this one. I can not imagine how it would have been had you gone through with your thoughts. I truly thank the Lord for you and your brother.

we do not discuss mental health issues. my sibling is mentally unstable and has been that way all his life but my mother was in denial all his life. he went to special schools and once was hospitalized and was under the care of a psychaitrist but my mom still believed they were all wrong and she even had my brother thinking he was fine and he actully thought he was. he was in the street doing all kinds of sick things. but still he was sane. he has never held down a job he has always lived with his siblings or friends. one sibling was tired of taking care of him because she had her own family and my mother just imposed on her even though that was not her child. after my mother passed away our father stepped in and finally sought the help he needed. he is now living on his own thank god. he is receiving the benefits that he should have received as a child. now that our mother is gone and sad to say he is a much better person and doing better. she was his worst enemy. denial is strong. my mother had him thinking he was on a pedastal and everyone else was beneath him. the abnormal things he did in the street are things normal or half way normal people do not do. he was also picked on in school and bullied by others. sometimes our parents do not want the stigma so they themselves try and hide things also. after he finally received help the doctors all saw right through him. he himself had been trying to hide his mental illness. he did this through is vocabulary which is very much extensive and impressive. which means he does have learning capability but like i said the doctors who treated him all saw through his facade. i am glad he has finally got the help he is a better person. i myself have a child who is mentally ill but i received treatment and i don’t give a fuck what the black community thinks and if any of my people have somehing say, i will tell all of them to kiss my fat ass. it might take all day but hey.. lol

J. Dakar, thanks for your testimony it is scary how the rates of suicide in our community have gone up. If people could just know that there’s someone who cares about them, that’s all it takes. Life is EXTREMELY hard at times and the pressure causes insurmountable pain. We have to rebuild our villages, we have to be there for others because you never know what someone else is going through. Our culture has grown into one where we don’t check on each other like we need to. I pray for the families of these suicide victims because its hard.

My aunt committed suicide and killed my 2 year old cousin and the pain is unbearable. my uncle hasn’t been the same since.

It’s real out here and I think if my aunt felt like she could talk to someone, she would have made a different choice that day.

i must add white folks get help for their mentally ill family members. not to bring money in but that is why more white people receive ssi benefits than blacks or any other race because they handle their business. i have seen rich people or at least comfortable white people have a sick child and this child receives all the government help he or she can even though the parents can afford everything or just about everything on their own. this will benefit the child in the long run. if mom or dad dies this child will have a place to live and something to eat. the benefits will kick in for real once the caregivers are gone. see we black folks don’t think like that.we don’t think about the long run. believe me no one is going to tke care of a sick person that did not come out of them for free. so we need to think about that. unless we are filthy rich i mean old money not new jack money. i mean getty, hearst, or woolworth kind of money. then a caregiver can be hired but nine times out of ten the new jack money runs out quickly. so we need to prepare for the long run. you make provisions but like i said it will be long gone quickly.

ANKH - That’s what we think because the media only talk about Caucasian suicides. Last week, my cousin’s friend’s friend, who is Asian, committed suicide by jumping down the expressway in front of his friends when they tell him to get out of the way. However, the news didn’t even talk about it a lot (I believe they talked about it for a day).

The next week, a white girl committed suicide because of bullies. She’s 19, and they covered that news for the whole week.

I hate to blame the media for this, but sometimes, that’s what it seems like to me.

Obviously this is sad, but a great deal of this is due to the culture of non-acceptance in the black community. Even now, in my generation — I am a hybrid of both Generation X and Y — there is allot of animosity and angst towards gay men. This animosity exist for several reasons for which science has been able to shed some insight on. Something with the chromosones etc.

Tell me, do they have to be children for us to feel sorry for them? Consider that every gay adult who has commited suicide for the same reasons as these children, were once children themselves.

Now, its not a popular stance, but I (a straight male) agree with Kanye West who has asked us to be more accepting and to stop gay bashing. Children learn these things at home, they adopt, we know this because a child has no capacity whatsoever to establish a worldview or social view on these issues; yet children are very observant and they are listening at all times.

God forbid, someone like me who has traveled the world and knows the significance and exclusivity of all cultures (in their own right) — say that I have no problem with someones sexual preference, in fact I find that it has no baring on my preference whatsoever, and I am not at all put-off, intimidated or uncomfortable around people whose sexual orientation is homogeneous. Dare I say this because, it is not uncommon for black women to be “suspicious” with a mans certain level of comfort with people that are different from him. Perhaps there is just too much paranoia in the atmosphere about differences; a sign of the times, no doubt.

And black men seem to suppress too much, which causes anxiety and a lack of transparency in the mind. These things build up over time, and apparently relatively short time as two of these cases involved children that hadn’t really made it to puberty. The feeling of otherness is easily married to the feeling of loneliness, and we know that if there is not outlet for all these emotions they can cause extremism.

Extremes: overly effeminate gay men, men willing to commit suicide, men willing to join games in some potentially detrimental aim at having a “family.” Men who are domestically or generally abusive because they haven’t a clue how to find a positive and safe channel for all their issues. Men who emotionless because they believe that it makes them more masculine (ladies perpetuate these ideals as well). Men who lurk in the darkness, moon-lighting as gay men, while by daylight playing a heterosexual male with a family at home, or at least a fake yet heartily displayed interest in women.

All these things permeate in our community and set us back.We had better do as many great thinkers have done before us (read about the Age of Enlightenment, and the switch from Religious Orthodoxy and infallible governments) and change the way we see ourselves, and raise our level of compassion and understanding. We should do this before its too late, by too late, I mean before 11-year old boys who are being taunted and teased kill themselves — oops, too late.

honestly I’m gettin really tired of black saying it’s a white thing! Black people are just as stupid as a white person is in various situations. Black people just can’t say what they want and it expect it to be ok, like saying committing suicide is a white person thing. Would black people like it if a white person said that going on Maury to find your baby daddy, or getting welfare or government assistance is a black person thing. Black people wouldn’t appreciate that much. Face it, most of the violence committed in our society is by a black person.

I just got a serious chill! Lil boys hanging themselves? OMG! People dont understand the damage of school bulling!…I mean as an adult, we think nothing of it. But I remember those days n middle school being dreadful! I remember how cruel kids were to certain people on the bus and the bus driver turning the other way! This issue definitely needs to be addressed!

I’m an educator, and most, if not all, schools have a no-bullying policy. They ask the kids to report it, or if it gets worse, a teacher or parent will report it. What the issue really is is that administration (principals and asst. principals) don’t want to ruffle any feathers. They don’t want the school on the news, or their school being brought up at a school board meeting, or even worse, if their names are brought up too many times for school issues, including bullying, they are in the hot seat and jobs are on the line. Principals and asst principals are doing alright, so they don’t want to lose their jobs, especially during these times, so the most done about bullying is a stern talking to involving the bully, or a conference w/both parties. It’s the same thing over and over. I applaud #49 for confronting the bully at the school. I would do the same. In a perfect world, bullies would be expelled, but school politics doesn’t allow that.

#85, mental illness runs in my family, so I was nodding along w/everything you were saying. An extensive vocabulary, charm, and wit is a hell of a mask, huh?

this is really sad..esp. …and its so dumb b/c of wat they are being teased about…smh!!…may their souls rest in peace!!

i will just like to thank concreteloop for being one of the first blogs to bring exposure to important issues that affect us on a day to day basis. This was a disturbing read, and more action, expecially at school, needs to be done to reduce bullying and victimization.

and what the fuck do these kids know about gay?? who told them that. shit i am 40 years old i did not know what gay was and i had seen gay people but not one time did i say oh he is or she is gay. it wasn’t until i was a teenager that i found out what gay really was. these parents are teaching this shit. poor babies. babies killing themselves. what a sick and twisted world we live in. as a kid i was bullied at school and picked on. i was even picked on by family members. not kids other adults. yeah, grown ass people fucking with kids. i bet those boys who killed themselves were probably picked on by the teachers as well. or they sat back and laughed as the kids fucked with them. see it all starts with the adults. when adults fuck with kids the other kids do it. how many times have we heard stories where a parent did not like his or her own child and mistreated the child and later on the siblings of this child joined in on the abuse. the kids who bullied these boys ought to be punished and i mean severly. my prayers to the family and i know this will never bring the babies back.

Wow. 3rd leading cause of death? I had no idea.

@ 90 Only1kene

Very much i agree…

I think some black people on very close minded… Definately they would take it to offence if we associated ”maury” or getting welfare as a black person thing .For fun i could say you dont mind wearing that korean weave.LOL. but hey it doesnt count then doesnt it? Although you love pointing fingers (trust me ive been on this site plenty of times). Some of things people say on here are considered racist.What one could potray as ingnorant & racist. You seem to think it okay to say whatever you choose where as if a indian or white person quotes sometimes remotely ignorant towards you go jacki chan on our ass…LOL

I have noticed thats it one rule for you guys & another for others.. Example - I
recall one user on here ws quoting ”Black Love is soooo Beautiful”…Love has no color people..!!! Ridiculous… Then you complain why the world is in such a division…

this is such a good post. Thanks for helping bring awareness to this issue!!!

I heard about Abraham Briggs on the radio and I got so flustered listening to the coverage. What I kept hearing was “suicide is the third leading cause of death amongst African-American males,” and while that’s nice to know, suicide does not happen without a REASON! What are the leading REASONS why African-American males are committing suicide? At least here it’s addressed to some degree. It seems to me that the African-American (particularly male) community isn’t open to the same open forums as the “white” community. For instance, it seems cheesey to “talk about our feelings” and what not, but people within the white community are more likely to see a therapist (or it seems that way to me.) If we make ourselves more available to discuss these things lives will be saved. Unfortunately, it seems to be “gay” to even hold emotional conversations such as this, blocking little boys like in the article from talking. It’s a hard knock life, talk about it!

Thanks for posting these stories. I use to think it was WHITE thing, too…until I saw it hit close to home, with friends attempting, friends succeeding, and then reading about so many stories including the ones you mentioned. MY PEOPLE, seek help. You can’t always find it in a friend, or in the Lord (i have), but do not be afraid to see a psychologist or school counselor about your problems. In my experience, putting things out in the open has lifted me up “big time”. Live your life - someone is watching - and the moment you give up - they will give up, too!

Now if people took time to sit down and stop being hard all the damn time shit like this wouldn’t happen. It hurts my heart that people are killing themselves let alone 10-11 years olds. This gay bashing is going a lil bit to far and its time to break this taboo in our community cause this is causing too much pain in life.

Surprisingly this happens EVERYDAY only a few are acually reported on the news.

I’m happy you all brought this up. When I was 13 my brother killed himself after he got off he phone with me…. He had bipolar disorder which later lead to drugs and alot of another troubles. White, black, purple or brown humans are humans it has nothing to do with skin color. Yes sucide and black men is common people just don’t speak on it or they try and twist it… My brother killed himself at age of 26 I will never forget. You never really know what goes through the mind of a black man and the struggles he faces and the sickness they have. It’s scary to lose someone that way because you always wish there was something more that you could do. My brother before he passed wrote an article in Essence Magazine talking about bipolar disorder and suiced attemps, it was an old issue with Brandy in her mother… I think you should post it, it will really inform people.. It was written by Jackie Robert Kelley…

Great post CL/J.Dakar It’s hearbreaking to read about things like this and at such an age too. A child’s schol experience can play a big part in their later development, some schools need to step up their ‘anti bullying policy’ and create places where kids feel welcome and comfortable to discuss any problems with effective outcomes.

#101, Many bad things happen everyday unfortunately ( how many people are reported missing daily, obviously the media would focus on those who are vulnerable or could pose as a vulnerabilty in society like criminals, mentally unstable people, children, pregnant women etc) but you can’t talk about every individual case in the mainstream media, but that doesnt meant the issue should be brushed under the carpet whether it’s self harming, depression( you don’t just snap out of it),suicide, drugs, homophobia, racism, domestic and child abuse, eating disorders ( you don’t just ‘eat a burger’)etc. Unfortuntely you can’t save them all, some people don’t want to be saved and we don’t live on Utopia but you must sure as hell do your damned hardest to try and furthermore get to the root of the problem cos prevention is better than cure.

I can’t remember who said it but it’s so true about ‘if you havent got anything nice ( or productive) to say then don’t say anything at all’. That ’sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me ‘ proverb is a load of boll*cks and we all know it. We all know words can cut deeper than someone punching you and can stay with some people forever. Freedom of speech, my foot.

I think every black person must know that we as a community are closed minded so long as it’s NIMBY ( Not In My Back Yard ) and use religion as a way of putting others down when the source of your quotations are contradictory to say the least.

I feel touched by this post because I find myself in a position where I have a friend who is an amazing young man, but sometimes I am disturbed by the things he says to me.
I think young black men certainly need to be guided somehow into their manhood by strong male role models, I also think alot of them need to be guided into knowing what is right for them and have the strength to stand up and be that person.
This really touched my heart and I thank you CL for highlighting this.

Wow this post is really interesting especially some of the comments… its sad that people feel that they need to kill themseleves when life gets a lil bit hard. There is NEVER ANYTHING in this world that is worth killing yourself over, god is good and he doesn’t give you more than what you can handle, all you have to do is TRUST in him.

I’m mad everyone is kinda tip toeing over the fact that homophobia is really one of the main contributing factors in black male suicide. I know because I’m a bi male and its hard walking life, even as inconspicuous as I do, when people look at you daily with such hate in their eyes when all you know is love. I toyed with the idea of suicide, simply because the image that blacks worship of the black male is a false image and when one is bombarded with hate for not fulfilling that image how can you expect ones life energy to thrive. I tell you this, God walks with me. Irregardless of the fact that i may happen to find the male body appeasing and the blood of all of the little ones cries out and vengeance and accountancy for ones actions will be had in the end. I long for his hand to vindicate my anguish while walking in his graces in this sad world full of lost and hateful souls.

and to the dude infront of me,105,black men dont need anyone pushing them into some mold. what needs to be done is for black people to learn to love. I mean love, not this bullshit black love most blacks profess to have but the love that comes from God that knows only mercy, gentility, grace, peace, and happiness. If half of yall simply loved and trusted God to direct you into all truths and right paths you would see that all the hate you give to gays is whats part of the reason why we cant get over psycological hurdles that have benn simple to overcome for other races and cultures. God cannot move in anyone, regardless of race, creed….no matter how close you think you are with him, he will not move in you with hate seeping so freely and unchecked in your souls. I pray to God that my race wakes up but I will not stay stagnant with my people and continue to serve the unclean spirits of hatred and mean spiritedness.

THIS IS SO SAD..THEY SHOULD TAKE CARE OF THIS BEFORE IT GETS TO BAD..

This is so sad, Its about time that somone talked about this issue. i cant belive its such a youg age group.

This thinqq is so sad…it makes my heart ache literally…kids could be so cruek sometimes. You wouldnt think that suicide would affect our community;especially young males. We really need to discuss this to our kids

I have been suicidal in my life..I never had the courage to ever attempted it…There were always a small voice in me saying “I want to live.” For the longest, I never told any one of these thoughts…Fears of being labeled crazy, weak, stupid—I was ashame to express it. We must remove the stigma attached with the illness, so we can help people live better lifes.

My prayers go out to the families of these beautiful young men.
“Even in our darkest moment…..God is present.”

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this is all awful people do this because of others we all need to be goo to one another and be respectful i thought about it before because of my dad it is mainly someone else that causes shit to go wrong

we need to educate our children not to call other kids these derogatory names. Look at the results. Words can power and affect a person.

It’s very sad situation! Suicide is a bad thing… We need to take better care of each other, we will overcome our obsticles with support from our surroundings! All of them!!!

Wowwww. This is a very sad and touching subject. Especially to here about the two young ones. They felt that the only way for them to deal with their problem was to hurt themselves. My heart goes out to all that are a part of this.

I think African American males are misunderstood. Most times they are either viewed as ghetto, uneducated, or even stigmatized. Most times White,Latin,Asian,Blacks have this stigma about black men. Society is wrong but the black community plays into it, and teach other races to view black men a certain way. You hear more uplifting of black young girls, and the boys pretty much have to stay on the sideline.

I am writng my next assignment in English on this topic because I see a lot of contradictory statements being made and I feel that most people need to be corrected and be politically correct instead of sugar coating and dancing around the real truth.