This is so sad… especially for these younger victims who felt they had to where else to turn. I pray for these individuals and their families. If you have ever thought about commiting suicide or know someone who has, please do not be afraid or ashamed to talk to someone about it!

Thats realy sad my best friend shoot his girlfriend and himself 10 years ago and you really dont know what sets people off.

wow thats pretty sad, its jus wrong that it says suicide is a white thing, i dont get what race has to do with anything. u get these kind of things happening in every community, people really need to start seing beyond color

Wow J.Dakar your testimonial was powerful & I SO know that feeling.

I have been in that same predicament & have thought those same thoughts at points in my life.

I even wrote a song about it…(There’s been some times I’ve damn near lost it…Slit my wrists, hung from my closet…But that didn’t do sh*t for pain…I’m walking dead again…is it all in vain) -Dark Clouds.

It’s not an easy thing to open up & talk about. I’m glad I had the strength to NOT go along with it.

Black men have a lot of pressure because socially, they are always behind. even the black woman is rising socially. I understand why they are depressed. This is an issue that we should discuss…so that everyone knows that they are equal. And that no one has to take their own life.

sad horrible story. everyone needs to realize that it’s okay to talk to someone about your problems, especially young men and boys that feel that they must always keep things inside. obviously we must start these programs in elementary school to get the point across since there’s now a pattern of young boys taking their own lives.

this is CRAZY!!!!!!!! im glad someone is paying attention to this matter. I too always felt this was just a white thing. guess not.

Just Hurt my heart!! so SAD!

Very profound topic…. I feel that we do not discuss mental health in our communities because we may see it as an embarrassment. However by not shedding light on this issue, we are offering our love one the opportunity to seek treatment to better their lives. WE have to do better… I have a love one that is battling a mental illness, and he is only 6. We are doing everything in our power now to help him so that he can live a happy productive life.

It’s very clear why black males have a skyrocketing suicide rate but the fact of the matter is that in order for that rate to be slowed or controverted, deeper issues have to be dealt with which black people don’t want to acknowledge. Particularly this nonsense that “color doesn’t matter” which goes hand in hand with the destruction of the black male image and the elevation of the black female image.

It it s really sad to hear about the young kids (black boys) who are commiting suicide. As a black community we should address this issue beacuse as the article says there is so much sigma that we fail to see the reality!!!

R.I.P Jaheem and Carl……….never2b4got10!!

I’m not a person who assumes something is a white or black thing, bullying,sickness mentally,physically,being poor,molested, being apart of a gang etc they have no mercy on there victim black, white or whatever but it takes someone outside the scene to see it, feel it and know something is wrong something here is not right and to point it out to those in the circle so I appreciate you J.Darkar for bringing these issues up. So many times we choose to ignore it or hide from it because we are scared or ashamed and tragically it can lead to death.
I to am a living testimony and I am grateful that I was blessed enough to seek help and receive it. My heart goes out to those two mothers no matter what people say parents don’t have a clue mine didn’t. It wasn’t until I told them how I was feeling years late not because they wern’t there or paying attention but those who are lost,feel helpless are the best at hiding it from those closest to them.

WOW J. simply amazing! I read your blog, I truly believe with your story you have help some1 day! Thanks u 4 sharing

My heart goes out to all of these families. It is important that we realize the struggle that our kids go through on a daily basis and reassure them that You love them God love them and to love themselves.Support is something that is essential to all young and old and we as parents need to listen to our kids and if necessary to remove them from that environment it possible to help them.I have a site dor my daughter which is in the early stages to support kids with sickle cell disease.

Know God Love God and embrace him always http://sicklecellmiracles.blogspot.com/

#5 it is because society puts us behind. This is a great and interesting topic and it is nice to see it on a blog. As a young man who WAS suicidal for over five years, it is NOT just a black thing, a white thing, an age thing, a male thing, or woman thing. It is a deep depression from within. In my case my life wasn’t all that I expected it to be. I hated life. Even today sometimes I feel as though I’m not good enough for myself, so I feel life I ‘m not good enough for this job, this woman, this life. I’ve come a LONG WAYS though.

People pick people apart like crazy, you never know what is going through the minds of people, so be careful of what you say and what you do. This is something that is lacking in “black school systems”, it’s calld SUPERVISION. I feel sorry for the parents who kids felt as though they were not good enough to live around people because of bullying and other things. Why are our school systems not paying close attention to these kids? Verbal abuse is not much different from physical. I admit to have doing some name calling when I was younger (11-14) and immature, and usually that is the time when I wish I was more supervised in school.

One more thing, if anyone is reading and feeling suicidal, SEEK HELP. TALK TO LOVED ONES, CALL A HOTLINE, SEE A COUNSELOR. Life may not always be good at a particular time but things don’t always remain the same. And EVERYONE’S life is important.

Those last two stories are truly sad. Both boys gone at young ages. My thoughts and prayers go out to there family and friends, God bless!

Its very sad, but it sounds like you are just sad, when black commit suicide…Its also very sad when white people do!!!

this is all soooo sad! my thoughts and prayers go out to all of these families!

@ 15…I think the issue of “stereotype” was the reason this story was bought abroad…because so many people think that this is a “white” crime….so no one here is saying that it’s sad because of a certain color…it’s a sad situation PERIOD…

i am very glad that this was posted. i think in the black community [ESPECIALLY] it is something that isn’t talked about. it’s always shunned upon or taken very lightly.
like for example: you know there is that girl who sits in her room all day and doesn’t talk. and her mom would just say oh she’s just quiet and shy when in all actuality, she suffers from borderline personality disorder.

these issues tend to stem from school, home life & just the plain ol “trickle down” effect. some say there might even be a post traumatic slavery disorder that causes alot of mental issues in the current generation. (i.e.: the house negro vs. the field negro)

i suffer from a mental illness and was diagnosed at 18. the first 5 years of dealing with was extremely hard. i was embarressed by it. i was one of those people who thought “black people don’t kill themselves & pop Zanax to treat a depression.” i isolated myself from everyone for a long time. i lost so many friends because they either saw me as “crazy” or just thought that they wouldn’t be able to handle what i was going through. but i’ve managed to make it through with faith, love, meditation & some therapy (there ain’t nothin wrong with a black person seeing a therapist. even if you think you don’t have “issues”).

and now i’m currently writing about my experience so brothas and sistas alike can know that they’re not alone and there is hope and there’s alot more living to do.

if we’re able to communicate these problems to our loved ones without yelling or having it result in ridicule, there could be so many lives saved.

thanks j. dakar…
i’ll be reading your post immediately…

I know of three young men of color around the area where I live that committed suicide. They were all in their 20s. This is definitely a growing problem in our community that people need to start talking about. Thank you Concreteloop for raising awareness, and thank you to J. Dakar for sharing your story. You are definitely an inspiration.

J.Dakar, I commend you on writing this post and I also commend you for sharing your very personal story on how you overcame your struggle and thoughts about suicide.

I believe we owe it to young people of all races especially African-American children, to educate them about suicide prevention. We must reassure our children and let them know everyone feels insecure sometimes, everyone has bad days, but they do pass, things do get better, only if you hang in there and remain open about their feelings and emotions.

If we can get that message to African-American males starting at a young age, in my opinion the probability of them committing suicide will be lowered tremendously. Boys face pressure everyday, to be the biggest, toughest, smartest, fastest, just the best. So when they feel they fall short, they may be faced with the thought of failure. I am definitely not saying we shouldn’t encourage children to be the best they can be, but we must do so in a healthy manner.

And this bullying situation is getting out of control. Parents must do their part to talk to their children and teach them that bullying is NOT acceptable. It would also help if schools had a NO TOLERANCE position on bullying the same way they do towards firearms.

A teenage black boy committed suicide in my town about 2 months ago. Shot himself in the head.
It was an immense tragedy and I was extremely confused and anger and hurt by it, even though I never knew him (He was a junior at my high school; I’m a senior).

Gorgeous boy, owned his own T-Shirt business & already had the freshest clothes. He had so many friends. He always smiled. He was a good kid.

I never got it.
& I hated that fights at my schools started because kids were blaming each other for what happened. & some felt so said that they said they wanted to commit suicide too.

That tragedy almost wrecked the Junior class b/c that boy was SO popular.

This HAS to STOP.
I think so many people don’t talk about it or ignore the problem because they feel the boys doing this are crazy. This needs to be addressed in schools because it’s destroying our future.

This could also be a racial thing. The media always feels a tragedy involving white kids is more important to mention than those involved minorities.

See. the Natalee Holloway case VS. the Megan Williams case.

Thank you J.Dakar for posting this.
People NEED to hear about this.

Rest In Peace, George Swain.
You are loved.

this is a good post. i’m glad that we can talk about this and bring light to it. that truth, i know exactly what you mean.

Very sad, myself had bullies in my classroom and they just wanted me to give them my lunch, as well as my cousin too, the boy was bigger and taller than us, like very tall for his age, he would just use us and was a threat but I told my mom and my counsins’ parents about it and our parents went to school to clarify it and he stopped, we became cooler; and this situation will never stop, always kids in school to bully around and are just bad and mean and mock the others, praying my kid will not be treated this way or treat other ppl this way, parents should tell their children to always make sure to say the truth and to tell when something is worng; I know its hard to tell to your parents cuz myself was afraid and felt bad that I couldnt handle it myself but they really should do it cuz its stressful, very stressful just to go to school cuz u know ppl will throw rocks at u for different lame reasons. SMH

my nephew committed suicide, it is the saddest thing my family has ever dealt with.

Wow. Just Wow. Thanks for bringing light to this issue J.

My nephew is 11 and I cannot image him having to go through something so disturbing that it would cause him to take his life.

I’ve never had a moment where I was that down and out, but suicide surely would not be my answer. I am WAAAY too scary to carry that act out.

Remember… “He will never put more on you than you can bare”

WONDERFUL POST. I TOTALLY AGREE AND I ACTUALLY READ THE ENTIRE POST..VERY EDUCATING. THANKS J

This is really sad. I hope and pray that schools develop a program to help bullied victims. Personnally, I bullies should be expelled from school. That will teach them a lesson. First, Columbine, now young kids taking their own lives?!! Something has to be done because this shit is getting out of control.

As a parent, I always talk to my 6 year old son. i want him to know that he can always talk to me no matter what. I also talk about how damaging bullying can be to someone’s else’s life.
My heart goest out to the families of the victims…

I think this…black people in general are very close minded. So being gay…or different in the black community is picked up quickly; and people who are gay or different are picked on and teased. White people are more accepting of difference and change, for example there are more white gay men who are “out” than there is black men. I am both black and gay, and have numerous amounts of white people apart of my family, So i can give a well rounded view of this issue. But here is the thing…its not the kids…its their parents. The parents need to step up and tell their kids that words hurt. I would personally get hit than for someone to call me a faggot. Why?…because that hit will only hurt for so long, while that word will play over in my head exactly the way it was said to me and in the context in which it was used. I also say this….the same guys who talk about gay guys and call them “fags” are the same ones that askin the gay guys for some “head”…or tellin the gay guys that they girl cant handle all their sex (which ive had said to me). Or better yet…their married. Most husbands…are DL….Sorry ladies…

Suicide among blacks have been on the rise because the Black man doesn’t know where to turn when he is faced with problems. My grandfather committed suicide a few years back. He had cancer and could not cope with the pain any longer. But oddly enough, he did it to protect us. In his letter he stated that he did not want to reach the stage where he would be so incapacitated, he would burden us financially and emotionally. That is best way he felt how to deal with it. Was it selfish of him? Of course….But I would be selfish if I’d be mad because I was not feeling his pain.

However, the young kids who killed themselves, from the article, tells me their fathers were not present. Say whatever you want, fathers and or father figures play a vital role in the development of a young male. They would have seen how their fathers handled adversities and they too would have found ways to deal with their issues or would have had a strong male to talk to. They probably did not go to their mothers or had faith in their mothers’ capabilities to “fix” their problems and felt hopeless, so they killed themselves. As the father of a young male, I take these things very seriously. The day my kid comes home and tells me he is being bullied, I am f*cking up the kid and his parents…when it comes to my kid, I am very irrational…

Damn, all terribly sad stories, especially the young kids.

Where do we even begin to address this problem? I think apart of the problem is that it’s taboo to get professional help to talk about it. As if getting help confirms that you’re truly crazy or only white people get professional help. That type of mentality must stop.

Also, the bullying has to stop. Kids can be so damn cruel, unfair, and ugly and that must stop because when you’re young you don’t know that school, friends, and popularity aren’t the end of the world, and I hate it so much because nothing is going to happen to the bullies. All the pain and suffering lies with the victim and their family.

Another thing that goes a long way is perspective, but this is something that 11 y.o. kids would not have yet. That’s why not only do bullied kids need incredible support, but the kids doing the bullying to be taught that it is very wrong to make another human being feel like nothing..that is awful.

Anyways, a lot needs to change but it all starts at the human level of teaching right from wrong and self-love and acceptance. It’s just a lot of stuff I honestly don’t see being remedied any time soon if ever.

My heart goes out to the families of the victims and if anyone reading this is having suicidal thoughts know that you are not alone and it will get better eventually.

Rispek CL for posting this. And I NEVER comment. But this moved me. Rispek

damn this really hurts…to see stuff like this happening to our men, specially our young boys

Glad Concrete finally put this up and yes I said finally. This problem has been rising since the turn of the 21st century if not longer. This site like others never talked about it. I found out from NY Times a few years ago. Even our so called major black mags don’t talk about it as in depth as they should, but I digress.

We also need to discuss homosexuality and HIV/AIDS. The silence is killing our community and please don’t start with that “The Bible says….” bullshit. Our ancestors were not christians. It was beat, hanged, whipped and tortured into us and unfortunately as much as some of us don’t like white people, black folks will spit out what the Bible says in a heart beat. God doesn’t have a problem with slavery, I do.

Let’s sit down and talk black folk. This conversation is well over do.

When I had just left high school, two quite popular people in the year above me killed themselves also. It is sad that these victims feel that is the only way out. R.I.P. to all, and I hope their families can survive the trauma.

That is why we should all treat people how we would like to be treated.

I also don’t understand how race got into this.

For all this “love” that black people always talk about and claim to be about, it seems like the only love our people have is for everyone else. In order for the black man to value his life, he must have a feeling of self-worth. You can only have a feeling of self-worth when you have right and exact self-knowledge. “Education” is what is needed to assimilate in this matrix of a society. Self-knowledge can only be accrued once reality is accepted. Black males are the enemy because they are the threat, so there is no way for them to attain self-knowledge in an educational system that is designed by the same entity that views him as the enemy because knowledge is power. If the controlling entity wants to retain power, they have to mentally hamstring any and all perceived threats. This is how an entity in power can create a “slave mentality” in which that entity encourages the race/s under you to not want to win, just to tie. This is what is happening in Iraq right now. If black people want an understanding of the genesis of our problem, look at Iraq and Afghanistan and you’ll understand what our ancestors had to endure in Portugal, Spain, different parts of Europe where blacks ruled, and the west coast of Africa during the 1400’s. The suicide rate and poor self-image, self-esteem, and self-confidence amongst black men is a result of all that.

My uncle and my stepfather both committed suicide so I am well aware that this is a serious problem in the black community.

Wow, this is tragic. I pray for all the families that have gone through this. Thanks J. Dakar for posting this, and sharing your story.

Young black men are committing suicide, not only by killing themselves, but by putting themselves in situations that will lead to their premature death as well.

Look into the Story of Lloyd Avery II

my best friend’s 12 yr old cousin just committed suicide tuesday. the fact that they’re getting younger scares me.

Thank you for bringing light to this issue. I was in and out of severe depression for two years during college because I was taught growing up that people that have relationships with God should not have to seek a psychologist for help. After someone reached out to me, I finally said “forget what I was taught” and I have been a much better person ever since. We, as black people and minorities, really need to come together and deny the perception of you’re crazy if you seek help.

Because to me it makes you crazy if you don’t. After just a couple of sessions with a psychologist, my grades dramatically improved and my outlook on life. Now I know exactly what to do when under stress to avoid depression and falling in to a black hole.

It’s horrible to see regardless of skin color. The worst part is not when adult who make the choice to do it but 10 and 11yr old children who are still considered innocent are pushed to the point of suicide. We really need to love on our children more and teach them that no matter what anyone says about them to love yourself. Easier said than done but look at these two part who lost children way before their time

wow…this really does raise my awareness of suicide….many ppl dnt think that this could happen to the ppl that they see on a daily basis, but you never know….my prayers are with all of these families & anybody else who has these thoughts…..

[...] just published a post for Concrete Loop regarding young, black males and suicide, including the recent deaths of two 11-year-olds who committed suicide because they were called gay [...]

j your testimonial was incredible. thank you for being brave and selfless enought to speak on such a serious issue. just know that your testimoney has helped someone and changed someone’s life. thanks for realizing your power. also, thank you for this post and addressing SUCH a serious issue. i get happy when i see black blogs tallking about issues that really do matter.

my prayers go out to all the families of the deceased. those last two stories PROVE that something needs to be done about this bullying thing! as adults, we have tougher skin from the things we went through…but as children, being bullied is a TERRIBLE experience…and children do not have the WISDOM or EXPERIENCE to know that this too shall pass.

they don’t know that these bullies are the ones with the real issues. all they know is that they are being embarassed in front of their school mates and friends. i don’t have the answers about what these schools and officals should do…but it’s obvious that SOMETHING needs to happen. let’s instill self esteem in these kids!!! the bullies and the bullied! bullies wouldn’t do what they do if they felt better about themselves and their own abilities…and those getting bullied would know that are WORTHY and CHERISHED and that they’re beautiful, wonderful and their lives MATTER! PLEASE, let’s do something about our children and about this whole issue of suicide. thanks again for this meaningful post.

Great Post

thanks to every poster that is sharing a testimonial as well!! bless all of you because your stories DO matter!

A Lot of it stems from the home. How are the parents addressing it when the child is being picked on. What are they telling them? Schools don’t care to do anything mainly because there’s nothing they can really do. It’s up to the parent to take control, and charge and do something about it. It’s up to the parents to build up the self esteem of the child. Some of these kids get it at home and at school. Parents think that they have no power when it comes to schooling, when they do. Case and example a little boy at school stole a quarter from my daughter, I know a quarter is not a big deal but I’m not gonna let someone still my hard earned money from my daughter. So what I did was confronted the boy infront of school staff his mom, my daughters and the principle. And I told him that was not acceptable, these two girls are not to be messed with. The principle then told me i didn’t follow proper protocol. I told her when it comes to my duaghters there is no protocol cuase i’m the protocol. At that moment the School administration, parents who were in the office, and my daughters saw that my dad will stick up for me, and protect me, and that don’t mess with his daughters. From that day my daughters don’t have a problem with administration, nor do they have problems with bulling. Because the kids and the administration, see I’m involved with my kids life. I make sacrifices for them and for their safety. I also monitor what they watch who their friends are, at the same time allowing them to blossom. That’s where it all starts. Now when it comes to grown men, hopefully they’ve had some stability with the family but what people need to understand is when you commit suicide, it’s the most selfish thing you could ever do, and I’m talking about adults here. Because you leave people asking why, was it something they said or did wrong. They leave children behind, moms, dads, brothers, sisters, grandmothers, and fathers, cousins aunts and uncles. It’s never resolved never, and sometimes, the children end up repeating history, because thats what they saw mom or dad do. So there it goes again, Family plays an important roll. I can’t speak for most but I thought about suicide, because of financial struggle when I was younger, but I soon realized that’s a cop out. What people have to realize life changes and except change, or change your enviroment. and family members need to not be so self centered, and get involved when they see a family member down.

im sorry to hear about the young victims. ive been there before so i definitely know how it feels. sad that it was too late for them.

thank you for this post! it’s timely and poignant.

as someone who suffers from depression - and went undiagnosed for almost 3 years because my family thought it was a WHITE THING - this issue is close to my heart.

I am usually just a reader on here and not one to comment but I do want to say something regarding this subject.. While I think it’s great that everyone realizes that suicide is a very serious matter that does need to be addressed, I personally think we all need to take a step back and look at ourselves and make sure that we are doing our part in addressing this matter..

I am a firm believer of the saying ” If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say anything at all”..

Sometimes we scrutinize others for doing things when we are doing the exact same thing.. Those bullies were wrong for what they did but sometimes you have to take a step back and wonder where did they learn that behavior from? A classmate, sibling, parent or could it have possibly been from you?

It’s 2009 and the internet is an integral part of life now.. These 9,10 and 11 year olds are reading what you say.. Just think about that before you post comments about how someone looks a hot mess, or need to eat something, or looks gay or whatever negative that you may feel the need to say.. The negativity that you emit can add fuel to the fire of the bully or make that depressed person feel lower than they are..

We way not be doing it directly but sometimes we indirectly do things and don’t realize it.. It’s ok to have opinions, but all opinions don’t need to be spoken.. Also think before you speak.. Some are so quick to judge others and my reply to you is that if you know how it should be done and can do it so much better then why are they featured on the website and not you? Actions speak a lot louder than words…

This is is a great way to shed light on a situation, Especially for those who are in danger of committing suicide themselves. I wonder why it is so high in black males though?

When I moved here to California, i moved here alone, i left my mom in Maryland, I didnt like how seperate my family was, so I thought moving here was the best thing for me, i could get to know my Brother and Sister again. Wrong, I lived with my sister and it wasn’t the best,,she often complained about everything I did, blamed my mother for things that werent going well in her life and told me that I was gonna be left alone to fend for myself..a lot of negative shit, so I left her to go live with my brother..and his wife and two kids..that wasn’t a great idea either, his wife was always blaming me for whatever was going wrong in the house..i didnt sweep this or mop that..WTF im going to school and working, I didnt move here to be a maid..kick rocks. So it seemed like all these negative comments were getting to me, I never thought suicide but I did think about what I wanted to accomplish in life, I have so many dreams and aspirations and I truly want to see If i can accomplish them all..suicide was never an option for me, It was just sadness..i was sad that i left my mom behind in Maryland, Sad I left all my friends and sad that my family here always had something to say about me..

I’ve never thought about going to talk to the school psychologist, like someone stated before in Church you’re told not to talk to a psychologist but to pray and have faith….I booked my appointment for Monday, sometimes people just need to talk to someone.

Thank you sooo much for addressing this issue. Our community has neglected to be proactive about prevention. There’s such a negative stigma associated with getting professional help. Having lost somone I LOVE to suicide, I hope to one day spread the word about getting help before it’s too late. If you need help…reach out. You are loved. May God be your peace and strength.

Im glad this matter has finallly made its way to the table.

what the hell? Sucide is a white thing???????????

That is the most vavcuous thing i have ever heard!!!

Sucide is amongst every race. It doesnt depends on ones race…

It depends one thinking!!!

It very sad that people amount to this type of closure…Some people see no end to their problems… It is what it is….

Concrete loop i think posts like these are relevant…

Everyone likes their celeb gossip.But usually what is posted on them is frivolous..

Good look…This is what makes you different from other sites such as bossip…

Concrete loop i think posts like these are relevant…

Everyone likes their celeb gossip.But usually what is posted on them is frivolous..

Good look…This is what makes you different from other sites.

MORE THAN INFROMING THE PEOPLE OF THE SERIOUSNESS OF THIS PROBLEM, MY PRAYER IS FOR THE PEOPLE TO TAKE ACTION. BE IT MENTORING BLACK BOYS, HOLDING A VIGIL FOR THE SELF SLAIN, PETITIONING FOR RESOURCES TO CREATE ALTERNATIVE ACTIVITIES, ETC. ACTION IS THE MOST POWERFUL IMPACT. WRITING YOUR CONDOLENCES & EXPRESSING YOUR EMOTIONS ABOUT THIS PROBLEM IS NICE BUT WE SHOULD CHALLENGE OURSELVES TO DO SOMETHING. AFTER READING THIS POST, WE ALL HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY.

Wow this is deep. I wish it were addressed more in the black family. Suicide and sexual abuse are 2 issues that we try to keep under wraps. Its time things come to light and are dealt with properly.

Sorry to go off the topic but these ads are just too much! I’m just minding my business typing away and one of your ads starts talking about American politics and AIDS. Please reduce these ads!

Yes, I am fully aware how horrible suicide is in our community. I know two people who both took their lives and I think one if not both of them were suffering from mental illness plus sexuality issues. They were both adults.

But when I see the children doing it, thats when I wanna cry out, WHY!!!!!! America needs to wake up. These are our innocent babies. We as parents need to pray with our children. We need to pray over them. We need to let our kids know daily if possible how much we love them. They need to know that no matter how upset they make us sometimes or how bad it gets at school that suicide is never an option. Words cannot express how I feel knowing the innocent children did this.

My thought is that of shock! How could those babies think of suicide as an out. God give us strength.

MY HEART REALLY GOES OUT TO ANYONE GOING THROUGH SO MUCH PAIN THAT THEY FEEL SUICIDE IS THE ONLY OPTION. IT’S A PERMANENT SOLUTION TO WHAT ARE USUALLY TEMPORARY PROBLEMS….EVEN THOUGH IT DOESN’T SEEM LIKE IT AT THE TIME.

I ESPECIALLY MOURN FOR THE LITTLE KIDS BECAUSE THEIR SITUATIONS COULD’VE BEEN RESOLVED IF THE ADULTS AROUND WOULD HAVE INTERVENED. ONE LITTLE BOY @ JAHEEM’S SCHOOL WAS TOLD TO “MAN UP” WHEN HE NOTIFIED SCHOOL AUTHORITIES. SMH.

J. DAKAR THANKS FOR SHARING. YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT LIFE YOU MAY HAVE SAVED BY DOING THIS.

That’s really sad..i think its messed up for those kids to get bullied in school like that..and its a shame that they can’t confide in their parents enough to let them know when something is going on…Parents really need to step up and be a major part of their childs life and let them know its okay for them to trust them…

This is a very disturbing issue! I have heard this before a couple of years ago in fact and it seemed like no one seemed to care. Well I am going to take this information and pass it on. There are so many things out there that hinder our young black men from flourishing this is something else we as a people have to stand together and address!

wow…im speechless… big up to you j.dakar…i know it took alot to admit all of that

@ 60

The black community also sweeps under the rug the acknowledgement and acceptance of our gay brothers and sisters; which appears to be one of the root causes of why these boys were picked on.

Bravo to CL for brinigng attention to this issue!!! Now please follow up with a post about the availability of mental health services.

I personally know what these young kids went through. I dealt with that all my childhood. And yes I’ve even thought about suicide. But then I thought about and realize how selfish I was! Here it’s I’m thinking about the quickest way to kill myself, I don’t even take into account of all the people that really do love me. How dumb and selfish I was. Now I’m not bashing them, I mean kids are extremely cruel. But if these young boys really thought about how these would affect their families and true friends, they wouldn’t have made that sad choice.

@67 Please let’s not make this a gay acceptance post. SMH. Besides the boys were callled gay, nowhere do it actually says what the boys sexual propensities were. I was called gay as a child and it was because I was shy ,quiet , and wasn’t hooked with anyone (at the fourth grade) and followed me for long time. So just because they were called one doesn’t mean it’s true.

@56 i completely agree with you

I’m feel so bad for all the families that lost sons far too early. I would recommend that if you KNOW ppl are taunting or bullying your kids-don’t stop until there’s a resolution. Find out the school system’s anti-bullying policy, threaten legal action, and if all else fails move the kid to a new school or home school. Also, parents need to start establishing an open line of communication EARLY. Kids should feel like they can talk to their Mom and Dad about anything.

Ignorant old negroes in media like oprah winfrey and toy joyner tried to hate poor chris brown into suicide without even hearing his side of the story. sad sad sad

im glad someone brought light to this issue. its something ive never really thought about and when i did think about it, I DID consider it a white thing. Not anymore though. Ive realized now that its an issue that effects all of us.

“is’nt suicide a white thing” - this is really insulting, im half white, does that mean im more likely to kill myself? Its a HUMAN thing, when life gets too hard and we need a way out, depression DOES NOT creep up on white people, race is irrelivant!!

@ I’m Just Saying …Thank you … Sometimes CL do not think before they type…

It’s ridiculous some people here claim ”it’s a white thing”. It is evident that some black people on here are very close minded.I’m indian, so your telling me there is not one indian or hindu.Whom havent commited suciude due to there fatal thinking (problems)…LOL… the most poltroon thing i have ever heard. Regarding sucide = to race. Ridicuous… If one is depressed or decides to disconnect their life from the world.They’re going to do it regardless of whether they are Blue,Red,White or Brown…

@ I’m Just Saying …Thank you .Sometimes CL do not think before they type…

It’s ridiculous some people here claim ”it’s a white thing”. It is evident that some black people on here are very close minded.I’m indian, so your telling me there is not one indian or hindu.Whom havent commited suciude due to there fatal thinking (problems)…LOL… the most poltroon thing i have ever heard. Regarding sucide = to race. Ridicuous… If one is depressed or decides to disconnect their life from the world.They’re going to do it regardless of whether they are Blue,Red,White or Brown…

@ I’m Just Saying …Thank you … Sometimes theydo not think before they type…

It’s ridiculous some people here claim ”it’s a white thing”. It is evident that some black people on here are very close minded.I’m indian, so your telling me there is not one indian or hindu.Whom havent commited suciude due to there fatal thinking (problems)…LOL… the most poltroon thing i have ever heard. Regarding sucide = to race. Ridicuous… If one is depressed or decides to disconnect their life from the world.They’re going to do it regardless of whether they are Blue,Red,White or Brown.

sos for the multiple posts.they dont seem to usually upload mine :S

It is very sad indeed. Then again, how can the black male rise up when he is so disenfranchised by a discriminatory system which is designed to keep them at the bottom.

There is not such thing as “equality” in America.

Suicide is really growing in our black communities. I was just informed this morning that a close friend of mine ended his life two days ago and I just cannot believe. I keep trying to think of what was so bad and so terrible that he felt death was his only outlet. Did he think of his wife and kids or even the future? We as a people have got to become aware of the issues out there. Some of the events that have been taking place in this world are not just “a white thing.” We are all risk and subject to any and everything. My heart truly goes out to everyone and the families that have been affected!

Great Post! Thanks for sharing your personal story, I know that it has encouraged many people to not give up on life! I am glad that you addressed the stigma associated with getting mental health treatment. I think everyone can benefit from talking with a therapist. Life can and will get overwhelming at times, everyone needs someone to talk to or support them. Some people may not have the support that they need from family or friends. So having a counselor can definitely come in handy. I do not know where I would be without my relationship with God and family support!

Concreteloop is the best!!! Keep up the great work!

LOL @ People saying CL don’t think before they type…..

AND SOME OF YOU NEED A READING COMPREHENSION CLASS.

That sentence about “suicide being a white thing” was in pink because it is a stereotype and the way that sentence is introduced is a literary way of asking a RHETORICAL question (As in some people reading this post may have thought that). obviously j. dakar doesn”t believe that seeing as he is a living testimony and is raising awareness. And if some people here DID think that at one point think that, it’s ok. That’s the point of posts like this. WOW @ the posters on this site.

.
.
.
.
.
Anyway, this is very sad. I personally haven’t though about suicide — because of my family, and yes GOD. Some people are able to handle a little bit more, and I’m one of them. Yes, I was teased for ‘acting gay’ for years, and I am gay. around late middle school, I just learned to be more quiet at school and be more masculine, because who wants to be teased? Yes, I am closeted (but not DL) and my parents wouldn’t accept. My mother throws “fag” around like nothing.

I don’t think anyone here wants everyone to all of a sudden “accept being gay” because everyone has their own beliefs. But it is possible that these kids COULD have been gay.. and even if they weren’t we are led to believe that you are the dirt beneath everyone’s feet if you have that label attached to you.

I absolutely agree with getting therapy. That is also something that is shunned as a ‘white thing’ in our community. People think you have to be “crazy” to see a psychiatrist. But to be honest, most people don’t feel comfortable telling their families everything. Also, our community doesn’t accept spending money on something like a therapist, and some don’t have it if they want to. There is just a WHOLE lot of stuff that needs to be addressed.

There are really no words that I can say on this one. I can not imagine how it would have been had you gone through with your thoughts. I truly thank the Lord for you and your brother.

we do not discuss mental health issues. my sibling is mentally unstable and has been that way all his life but my mother was in denial all his life. he went to special schools and once was hospitalized and was under the care of a psychaitrist but my mom still believed they were all wrong and she even had my brother thinking he was fine and he actully thought he was. he was in the street doing all kinds of sick things. but still he was sane. he has never held down a job he has always lived with his siblings or friends. one sibling was tired of taking care of him because she had her own family and my mother just imposed on her even though that was not her child. after my mother passed away our father stepped in and finally sought the help he needed. he is now living on his own thank god. he is receiving the benefits that he should have received as a child. now that our mother is gone and sad to say he is a much better person and doing better. she was his worst enemy. denial is strong. my mother had him thinking he was on a pedastal and everyone else was beneath him. the abnormal things he did in the street are things normal or half way normal people do not do. he was also picked on in school and bullied by others. sometimes our parents do not want the stigma so they themselves try and hide things also. after he finally received help the doctors all saw right through him. he himself had been trying to hide his mental illness. he did this through is vocabulary which is very much extensive and impressive. which means he does have learning capability but like i said the doctors who treated him all saw through his facade. i am glad he has finally got the help he is a better person. i myself have a child who is mentally ill but i received treatment and i don’t give a fuck what the black community thinks and if any of my people have somehing say, i will tell all of them to kiss my fat ass. it might take all day but hey.. lol

J. Dakar, thanks for your testimony it is scary how the rates of suicide in our community have gone up. If people could just know that there’s someone who cares about them, that’s all it takes. Life is EXTREMELY hard at times and the pressure causes insurmountable pain. We have to rebuild our villages, we have to be there for others because you never know what someone else is going through. Our culture has grown into one where we don’t check on each other like we need to. I pray for the families of these suicide victims because its hard.

My aunt committed suicide and killed my 2 year old cousin and the pain is unbearable. my uncle hasn’t been the same since.

It’s real out here and I think if my aunt felt like she could talk to someone, she would have made a different choice that day.

i must add white folks get help for their mentally ill family members. not to bring money in but that is why more white people receive ssi benefits than blacks or any other race because they handle their business. i have seen rich people or at least comfortable white people have a sick child and this child receives all the government help he or she can even though the parents can afford everything or just about everything on their own. this will benefit the child in the long run. if mom or dad dies this child will have a place to live and something to eat. the benefits will kick in for real once the caregivers are gone. see we black folks don’t think like that.we don’t think about the long run. believe me no one is going to tke care of a sick person that did not come out of them for free. so we need to think about that. unless we are filthy rich i mean old money not new jack money. i mean getty, hearst, or woolworth kind of money. then a caregiver can be hired but nine times out of ten the new jack money runs out quickly. so we need to prepare for the long run. you make provisions but like i said it will be long gone quickly.

ANKH - That’s what we think because the media only talk about Caucasian suicides. Last week, my cousin’s friend’s friend, who is Asian, committed suicide by jumping down the expressway in front of his friends when they tell him to get out of the way. However, the news didn’t even talk about it a lot (I believe they talked about it for a day).

The next week, a white girl committed suicide because of bullies. She’s 19, and they covered that news for the whole week.

I hate to blame the media for this, but sometimes, that’s what it seems like to me.

Obviously this is sad, but a great deal of this is due to the culture of non-acceptance in the black community. Even now, in my generation — I am a hybrid of both Generation X and Y — there is allot of animosity and angst towards gay men. This animosity exist for several reasons for which science has been able to shed some insight on. Something with the chromosones etc.

Tell me, do they have to be children for us to feel sorry for them? Consider that every gay adult who has commited suicide for the same reasons as these children, were once children themselves.

Now, its not a popular stance, but I (a straight male) agree with Kanye West who has asked us to be more accepting and to stop gay bashing. Children learn these things at home, they adopt, we know this because a child has no capacity whatsoever to establish a worldview or social view on these issues; yet children are very observant and they are listening at all times.

God forbid, someone like me who has traveled the world and knows the significance and exclusivity of all cultures (in their own right) — say that I have no problem with someones sexual preference, in fact I find that it has no baring on my preference whatsoever, and I am not at all put-off, intimidated or uncomfortable around people whose sexual orientation is homogeneous. Dare I say this because, it is not uncommon for black women to be “suspicious” with a mans certain level of comfort with people that are different from him. Perhaps there is just too much paranoia in the atmosphere about differences; a sign of the times, no doubt.

And black men seem to suppress too much, which causes anxiety and a lack of transparency in the mind. These things build up over time, and apparently relatively short time as two of these cases involved children that hadn’t really made it to puberty. The feeling of otherness is easily married to the feeling of loneliness, and we know that if there is not outlet for all these emotions they can cause extremism.

Extremes: overly effeminate gay men, men willing to commit suicide, men willing to join games in some potentially detrimental aim at having a “family.” Men who are domestically or generally abusive because they haven’t a clue how to find a positive and safe channel for all their issues. Men who emotionless because they believe that it makes them more masculine (ladies perpetuate these ideals as well). Men who lurk in the darkness, moon-lighting as gay men, while by daylight playing a heterosexual male with a family at home, or at least a fake yet heartily displayed interest in women.

All these things permeate in our community and set us back.We had better do as many great thinkers have done before us (read about the Age of Enlightenment, and the switch from Religious Orthodoxy and infallible governments) and change the way we see ourselves, and raise our level of compassion and understanding. We should do this before its too late, by too late, I mean before 11-year old boys who are being taunted and teased kill themselves — oops, too late.

honestly I’m gettin really tired of black saying it’s a white thing! Black people are just as stupid as a white person is in various situations. Black people just can’t say what they want and it expect it to be ok, like saying committing suicide is a white person thing. Would black people like it if a white person said that going on Maury to find your baby daddy, or getting welfare or government assistance is a black person thing. Black people wouldn’t appreciate that much. Face it, most of the violence committed in our society is by a black person.

I just got a serious chill! Lil boys hanging themselves? OMG! People dont understand the damage of school bulling!…I mean as an adult, we think nothing of it. But I remember those days n middle school being dreadful! I remember how cruel kids were to certain people on the bus and the bus driver turning the other way! This issue definitely needs to be addressed!

I’m an educator, and most, if not all, schools have a no-bullying policy. They ask the kids to report it, or if it gets worse, a teacher or parent will report it. What the issue really is is that administration (principals and asst. principals) don’t want to ruffle any feathers. They don’t want the school on the news, or their school being brought up at a school board meeting, or even worse, if their names are brought up too many times for school issues, including bullying, they are in the hot seat and jobs are on the line. Principals and asst principals are doing alright, so they don’t want to lose their jobs, especially during these times, so the most done about bullying is a stern talking to involving the bully, or a conference w/both parties. It’s the same thing over and over. I applaud #49 for confronting the bully at the school. I would do the same. In a perfect world, bullies would be expelled, but school politics doesn’t allow that.

#85, mental illness runs in my family, so I was nodding along w/everything you were saying. An extensive vocabulary, charm, and wit is a hell of a mask, huh?

this is really sad..esp. …and its so dumb b/c of wat they are being teased about…smh!!…may their souls rest in peace!!

i will just like to thank concreteloop for being one of the first blogs to bring exposure to important issues that affect us on a day to day basis. This was a disturbing read, and more action, expecially at school, needs to be done to reduce bullying and victimization.

and what the fuck do these kids know about gay?? who told them that. shit i am 40 years old i did not know what gay was and i had seen gay people but not one time did i say oh he is or she is gay. it wasn’t until i was a teenager that i found out what gay really was. these parents are teaching this shit. poor babies. babies killing themselves. what a sick and twisted world we live in. as a kid i was bullied at school and picked on. i was even picked on by family members. not kids other adults. yeah, grown ass people fucking with kids. i bet those boys who killed themselves were probably picked on by the teachers as well. or they sat back and laughed as the kids fucked with them. see it all starts with the adults. when adults fuck with kids the other kids do it. how many times have we heard stories where a parent did not like his or her own child and mistreated the child and later on the siblings of this child joined in on the abuse. the kids who bullied these boys ought to be punished and i mean severly. my prayers to the family and i know this will never bring the babies back.

Wow. 3rd leading cause of death? I had no idea.

@ 90 Only1kene

Very much i agree…

I think some black people on very close minded… Definately they would take it to offence if we associated ”maury” or getting welfare as a black person thing .For fun i could say you dont mind wearing that korean weave.LOL. but hey it doesnt count then doesnt it? Although you love pointing fingers (trust me ive been on this site plenty of times). Some of things people say on here are considered racist.What one could potray as ingnorant & racist. You seem to think it okay to say whatever you choose where as if a indian or white person quotes sometimes remotely ignorant towards you go jacki chan on our ass…LOL

I have noticed thats it one rule for you guys & another for others.. Example - I
recall one user on here ws quoting ”Black Love is soooo Beautiful”…Love has no color people..!!! Ridiculous… Then you complain why the world is in such a division…

this is such a good post. Thanks for helping bring awareness to this issue!!!

I heard about Abraham Briggs on the radio and I got so flustered listening to the coverage. What I kept hearing was “suicide is the third leading cause of death amongst African-American males,” and while that’s nice to know, suicide does not happen without a REASON! What are the leading REASONS why African-American males are committing suicide? At least here it’s addressed to some degree. It seems to me that the African-American (particularly male) community isn’t open to the same open forums as the “white” community. For instance, it seems cheesey to “talk about our feelings” and what not, but people within the white community are more likely to see a therapist (or it seems that way to me.) If we make ourselves more available to discuss these things lives will be saved. Unfortunately, it seems to be “gay” to even hold emotional conversations such as this, blocking little boys like in the article from talking. It’s a hard knock life, talk about it!

Thanks for posting these stories. I use to think it was WHITE thing, too…until I saw it hit close to home, with friends attempting, friends succeeding, and then reading about so many stories including the ones you mentioned. MY PEOPLE, seek help. You can’t always find it in a friend, or in the Lord (i have), but do not be afraid to see a psychologist or school counselor about your problems. In my experience, putting things out in the open has lifted me up “big time”. Live your life - someone is watching - and the moment you give up - they will give up, too!

Now if people took time to sit down and stop being hard all the damn time shit like this wouldn’t happen. It hurts my heart that people are killing themselves let alone 10-11 years olds. This gay bashing is going a lil bit to far and its time to break this taboo in our community cause this is causing too much pain in life.

Surprisingly this happens EVERYDAY only a few are acually reported on the news.

I’m happy you all brought this up. When I was 13 my brother killed himself after he got off he phone with me…. He had bipolar disorder which later lead to drugs and alot of another troubles. White, black, purple or brown humans are humans it has nothing to do with skin color. Yes sucide and black men is common people just don’t speak on it or they try and twist it… My brother killed himself at age of 26 I will never forget. You never really know what goes through the mind of a black man and the struggles he faces and the sickness they have. It’s scary to lose someone that way because you always wish there was something more that you could do. My brother before he passed wrote an article in Essence Magazine talking about bipolar disorder and suiced attemps, it was an old issue with Brandy in her mother… I think you should post it, it will really inform people.. It was written by Jackie Robert Kelley…

Great post CL/J.Dakar It’s hearbreaking to read about things like this and at such an age too. A child’s schol experience can play a big part in their later development, some schools need to step up their ‘anti bullying policy’ and create places where kids feel welcome and comfortable to discuss any problems with effective outcomes.

#101, Many bad things happen everyday unfortunately ( how many people are reported missing daily, obviously the media would focus on those who are vulnerable or could pose as a vulnerabilty in society like criminals, mentally unstable people, children, pregnant women etc) but you can’t talk about every individual case in the mainstream media, but that doesnt meant the issue should be brushed under the carpet whether it’s self harming, depression( you don’t just snap out of it),suicide, drugs, homophobia, racism, domestic and child abuse, eating disorders ( you don’t just ‘eat a burger’)etc. Unfortuntely you can’t save them all, some people don’t want to be saved and we don’t live on Utopia but you must sure as hell do your damned hardest to try and furthermore get to the root of the problem cos prevention is better than cure.

I can’t remember who said it but it’s so true about ‘if you havent got anything nice ( or productive) to say then don’t say anything at all’. That ’sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me ‘ proverb is a load of boll*cks and we all know it. We all know words can cut deeper than someone punching you and can stay with some people forever. Freedom of speech, my foot.

I think every black person must know that we as a community are closed minded so long as it’s NIMBY ( Not In My Back Yard ) and use religion as a way of putting others down when the source of your quotations are contradictory to say the least.

I feel touched by this post because I find myself in a position where I have a friend who is an amazing young man, but sometimes I am disturbed by the things he says to me.
I think young black men certainly need to be guided somehow into their manhood by strong male role models, I also think alot of them need to be guided into knowing what is right for them and have the strength to stand up and be that person.
This really touched my heart and I thank you CL for highlighting this.

Wow this post is really interesting especially some of the comments… its sad that people feel that they need to kill themseleves when life gets a lil bit hard. There is NEVER ANYTHING in this world that is worth killing yourself over, god is good and he doesn’t give you more than what you can handle, all you have to do is TRUST in him.

I’m mad everyone is kinda tip toeing over the fact that homophobia is really one of the main contributing factors in black male suicide. I know because I’m a bi male and its hard walking life, even as inconspicuous as I do, when people look at you daily with such hate in their eyes when all you know is love. I toyed with the idea of suicide, simply because the image that blacks worship of the black male is a false image and when one is bombarded with hate for not fulfilling that image how can you expect ones life energy to thrive. I tell you this, God walks with me. Irregardless of the fact that i may happen to find the male body appeasing and the blood of all of the little ones cries out and vengeance and accountancy for ones actions will be had in the end. I long for his hand to vindicate my anguish while walking in his graces in this sad world full of lost and hateful souls.

and to the dude infront of me,105,black men dont need anyone pushing them into some mold. what needs to be done is for black people to learn to love. I mean love, not this bullshit black love most blacks profess to have but the love that comes from God that knows only mercy, gentility, grace, peace, and happiness. If half of yall simply loved and trusted God to direct you into all truths and right paths you would see that all the hate you give to gays is whats part of the reason why we cant get over psycological hurdles that have benn simple to overcome for other races and cultures. God cannot move in anyone, regardless of race, creed….no matter how close you think you are with him, he will not move in you with hate seeping so freely and unchecked in your souls. I pray to God that my race wakes up but I will not stay stagnant with my people and continue to serve the unclean spirits of hatred and mean spiritedness.

THIS IS SO SAD..THEY SHOULD TAKE CARE OF THIS BEFORE IT GETS TO BAD..

This is so sad, Its about time that somone talked about this issue. i cant belive its such a youg age group.

This thinqq is so sad…it makes my heart ache literally…kids could be so cruek sometimes. You wouldnt think that suicide would affect our community;especially young males. We really need to discuss this to our kids

I have been suicidal in my life..I never had the courage to ever attempted it…There were always a small voice in me saying “I want to live.” For the longest, I never told any one of these thoughts…Fears of being labeled crazy, weak, stupid—I was ashame to express it. We must remove the stigma attached with the illness, so we can help people live better lifes.

My prayers go out to the families of these beautiful young men.
“Even in our darkest moment…..God is present.”

[...] adulterous and had a drug problem. Hope you get the help you need, Jayson; we don’t need another statistic. ( Photos: GETTY IMAGES [...]

this is all awful people do this because of others we all need to be goo to one another and be respectful i thought about it before because of my dad it is mainly someone else that causes shit to go wrong

we need to educate our children not to call other kids these derogatory names. Look at the results. Words can power and affect a person.

It’s very sad situation! Suicide is a bad thing… We need to take better care of each other, we will overcome our obsticles with support from our surroundings! All of them!!!

Wowwww. This is a very sad and touching subject. Especially to here about the two young ones. They felt that the only way for them to deal with their problem was to hurt themselves. My heart goes out to all that are a part of this.

I think African American males are misunderstood. Most times they are either viewed as ghetto, uneducated, or even stigmatized. Most times White,Latin,Asian,Blacks have this stigma about black men. Society is wrong but the black community plays into it, and teach other races to view black men a certain way. You hear more uplifting of black young girls, and the boys pretty much have to stay on the sideline.

I am writng my next assignment in English on this topic because I see a lot of contradictory statements being made and I feel that most people need to be corrected and be politically correct instead of sugar coating and dancing around the real truth.