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‘ROUND THE WAY: LONGEST MARRIED COUPLE (85 YEARS!) GIVES RELATIONSHIP ADVICE

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Meet Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher of North Carolina. They have been married 85 years (86 in May) and hold the Guinness World Record for the longest marriage of a living couple and get this…. Zelmyra is 101 years old and Herbert is 104.

The happily married couple teamed up with twitter this Valentine’s Day to answer some relationship questions. Check out their take on finding love, getting through hard times and more. Good read.

1. What made you realize that you could spend the rest of your lives together? Were you scared at all?
H & Z: With each day that passed, our relationship was more solid and secure.Divorce was NEVER an option - or even a thought.

2. How did you know your spouse was the right one for you?
We grew up together & were best friends before we married. A friend is for life - our marriage has lasted a lifetime

3. Is there anything you would do differently after more than 80 years of marriage?
We wouldn’t change a thing. There’s no secret to our marriage, we just did what was needed for each other & our family.

4. What is your advice to someone who is trying to keep the faith that Mr. Right is really out there?
Zelmyra: Mine was just around the corner! He is never too far away, so keep the faith - when you meet him, you’ll know.

5. What was the best piece of marriage advice you ever received?
Respect, support & communicate with each other.Be faithful, honest & true.Love each other with ALL of your heart

6. What are the most important attributes of a good spouse?
Zelmyra: A hard worker & good provider.The 1920s were hard,but Herbert wanted & provided the best for us.I married a good man!

7. What is your best Valentine’s Day memory?
Zelmyra: I cook dinner EVERY day.Herbert left work early & surprised me – he cooked dinner for me! He is a VERY good cook!

Herbert: I said that I was going to cook dinner for her & she could relax - the look on her face & clean plate made my day!

8. You got married very young – how did u both manage to grow as individuals yet not grow apart as a couple?
“Everyone who plants a seed & harvests the crop celebrates together” We are individuals, but accomplish more together.

9. What is your fondest memory of your 85-year marriage?
Our legacy: 5 children, 10 grandchildren, 9 great-grandchildren, and 1 great-great grandchild.

10. Does communicating get easier with time? How do you keep your patience?
The children are grown, so we talk more now. We can enjoy our time on the porch or our rocking chairs - together.

11. How did you cope when you had to be physically separated for long periods of time?
Herbert: We were apart for 2 months when Z was hospitalized with our 5th child. It was the most difficult time of my life. Zelmyra’s mother helped me with the house and the other children, otherwise I would have lost my mind.

12. At the end of bad relationship day, what is the most important thing to remind yourselves?
Remember marriage is not a contest – never keep a score. God has put the two of you together on the same team to win

13. Is fighting important?
NEVER physically! Agree that it’s okay to disagree, & fight for what really matters. Learn to bend - not break!

14. What’s the one thing you have in common that transcends everything else?
We are both Christians & believe in God.Marriage is a commitment to the Lord.We pray with & for each other every day.

———
They also closed out the Q&A with one last message: We wish we could answer more questions! Thanks for your support and interest in our story - we are overwhelmed. And we wish you a happy Valentine’s Day - may it be filled with love and joy. God bless you all, Herbert and Zelmyra.

120 CommentsCOMMENT?

Posted by: ANGEL

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120 Comments


COMMENT PAGES: [1] 2 » Show All

1.

Weekend_Love

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

Awwwww…..that is so sweet, i want that to happen to me

2.

LOVE IT

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

WOW!! 85 years! That’s amazing. I like there take on fighting “Learn to bend - not break!” Good advice. LOL

3.

GhanaianBelle

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

How beautiful. A real treat to read on Valentine’s Day, thanks CL :)

4.

Jade

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

That what Im talking about you gotta stick togther till the wheels fall off!

5.

BritishNigerianJamaican

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

AMEN LORD!!!. THIS SHUD BE MY TESTIMONY AS WELL ONE DAY.

6.

Leo

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

–hmmm….seems like someone was rocking the cradle…congrats!!

7.

Tha'

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

That’s my dream!!!

8.

Nothing But Love

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

Awe thats so sweet, ya see people true love never fails!!!!

9.

Mrs. Sk8board P (ak & bk stan)

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

that’s really sweet

10.

opium.lady

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

oooh this is sooo sweet! cutest thing i’ve ever read. so great to read something like this especially when your bombarded with a myriad of trivial things like celebrity drama sometimes.

11.

DIANE

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

Wow at both their marriage and age. This is incredible!!

12.

Jamila

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

That is awesome! So touching!!

13.

monica

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

Please God bring him to me!

14.

gg boo

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

——–ugh i hate when the margins cut off! From what I could read, this was very —————- interesting article. That margin thing seems to be a reoccurring issue on ——– this site!

15.

sHaY

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

Black love is beautiful!!!!!

16.

trillafoood

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

This is the definition of real love.

17.

Brina

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

Aww so amazing. So sweet

18.

futuredoc

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

This was great! It’s wonderful to see a long lasting, true love relationship. The advice was really practical and honest. Great highlight for V’Day

19.

Lawgirl

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

WOW…A couple after my own heart. Kudos to them. I wish them many more years together. Who says black love does not exist? This proves otherwise. WOW. I am saving this article as a reminder that it can be done. Thank you Mr./Mrs Fisher.

20.

one_systa

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

beautiful … i love the answer to #6

21.

speechless

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

ALL I HAVE TO SAY IS BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!! WOW BLACK LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL!!!! I HOPE THIS HAPPENS TO ME I WANT TO BE WITH JUST ONE BLACK MAN FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE!

22.

Sarah Vaughan

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

wow. MARRIED AND HAPPY. they gave great advice. a black couple that lasted 85 years is a testament to what we can have once we learn to stop all this hollywood ish and make a pact to get along.

23.

Sarah Vaughan

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

she is 101 and he is 104. it seems to me when you are loved you live longer! lol

24.

lau

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

beauitful ! :D
love it .
happy vday everyone !

25.

Mrs. Darren shellychelle Sharper

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

Awww, too cute! this is how real relationships should be.

27.

mimi321

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

I am so proud that a BLACK couple holds the record for longest marriage…it seems we’re always being told that marriage is not for us…thanks for posting this great story and I wish the happy couple many more happy years to come!

28.

Real

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

Great choice on V-Day!!

29.

meme

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

these ole people prolly suffers from Alzheimers. Looking in each others face each day and don’t know who the fuk they looking at. thats why they still together. after about 65 they totally forgot they were married.

30.

UM... I GUESS

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

inspired.

sidenote: divorce really shouldn’t ever be an option… or thought.

31.

UM... I GUESS

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

oh… and many many congrats to them of course!

32.

Kenudigme

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

WOW!!! this is awesome…

33.

peaceatheart

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

wowwww, what an amazing and inspirational luv story…CONGRATULATIONS luv birds, God Bless…

My soulmate and I are 11 yrs, were right behind you, lol thanks for the insight

34.

SUNLIGHT

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

Great Role Models!!!

35.

Um Yea

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

Thanks for sharing this story with us CL. :)

37.

lISA

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

THIS WAS TRULY INSPIRING! I been married 10years and LOVE IT. I can only pray and hope to have such an successful marriage like these two. God bless them!

38.

Nikki

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

This is wonderful. I always say the same thing, you’ll definitely know when you meet Mr. or Mrs. Right.

39.

Chelly

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

@ Meme what an ignorant thing to say. All elderly people don’t have Alzheimer’s!!

This is beautiful and a true testament to BLACK LOVE. My grandparents (both sets) have been together for over 50 years. I’m married too, one year, and I am looking forward to many more beautiful years with my hubby!!!

40.

Babatunde

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

That is so beautiful. You can tell they still love each other after all that time. That is amazing. They gave some great advice too. Awwww, that made my day =D

41.

MW09

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

This is absolutely incredible! I love it; such an inspiration!

42.

lalalove

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

Thank you GOD this is an African American couple. See, my people, it can be done. Black couples can make it work, we a capable of loving eachother, we are capable of getting married to eachother, we are capable of STAYING together. We are capable of not only killing eachother, as they like to say. WE ARE CAPABLE, is the new motto.
Have a blessed and Happy V-day, you all.

43.

lalalove

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

Bless them, they are truly an inspiration.

44.

Seriously

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

I like how she didn’t say much but she said just enough ….Beauitful Hopefully they use there words of widsom beyond this and write a book for couples who might be struggling with there marriage or newly weds clearly you can grow old together and have a stronger realtionship then ever

45.

Anartist

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

Incredible. Point 12 was especially good. How things have changed (/degraded) since their day though…

46.

BX

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

I love it…..i hope this is me one day!!! This inspires me to keep the faith and know that someone is out there for me or better yet right in front of my face!!

47.

sickwitit

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

i pray for this

48.

Aloena

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

LOVE IT!

49.

SMH

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

“Remember marriage is not a contest – never keep a score. God has put the two of you together on the same team to win”

That is the truth right there. God Bless them.

50.

MUSICWITHIN

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

GOD BLESS THEM!

51.

let go

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

ANGEL, thank you for posting this! It is wonderful to see love that lasts a lifetime, especially for a black woman. :) And she is so right on: you WILL know. keep the faith, sisters! I wish you all joyful, enduring love.

52.

okay....

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

black love…..LOVE IT! this totally made my day. Much love to them both!

53.

NATALIA

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

Inspiring.

54.

ROCKSTAR 101 BIMSHORE

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

Oh wow best friends always make the perfect couple cause i mean its not a whole lot you dont tell your BFF so i so agree with this advice…. not saying that everyone should get married to their BFF lol lmao

55.

MISS P

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

God Bless them. They made it!!!!!! Thats a long as time too to be with one person! WOW

56.

Tianna

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

God bless that couple! I look forward to reaching that with my husband and always love to hear words of wisdom from elder married couples.

This is truly inspiring especially in todays society where so many people don’t value or respect the union of marriage. I thank God for my husband and being married at 25, I love our ups and downs because it only makes us stronger and closer. Seeing this story made my day!

57.

LULU

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

Wow, amazing!

58.

@Fire_Isis

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

In the midst of recently finding love with someone I grew up with, this story is so inspiring. At the age of 26, I’ve known this man for 22 years and never thought to look to him for love. I’m so glad I did! God bless them and Happy Valentine’s Day!

59.

mrsjones

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

That is just amazingly beautiful! True inspiration for me and my hubby!

60.

Ash

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

He looks pretty much the same! What a sweet couple.

61.

Tha Phoenix

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

Aah. This is so cute. Over 80 years of marriage, that’s how we do.

62.

GUESS?

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

READING THAT MADE ME REALIZE TWO THINGS

1.A REAL MAN IS OUT THERE AND I PRAY TO GOD HE SEND ME A MAN LIKE THAT AND GIVE ME LOVE LIKE THAT,IT OUT I MIGHT BE LOOKING IN THE WORNG PLACE

2. THE GUY I WITH NOW WE OVA I DON’T NEED HIM AND HE DON’T WANT ME ANYWAY

63.

FallBackHaters

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

This was a good read. They seem a beautiful couple.

64.

Hell-2-tha-NAW!!!!!!

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

Beautiful couple!!!!!!! Very very inspiring.

65.

CECE

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

This really warmed my heart. may god bless them eternally!! I wish to have a marriage like that one day!!

66.

kimmy rosa

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

with GOD ALL THINGS R REALLY POSSIBLE!GOD continue 2 bless them both, really learnt a lot

67.

LONG LIVE LOVE | Good Vibrations

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

[...] Source Meet Herbert and Zelmyra Fisher of North Carolina. They have been married 85 years (86 in May) and hold the GUINNESS WORLD RECORD for the longest marriage of a living couple and get this…. Zelmyra is 101 years old and Herbert is 104. [...]

68.

Have Not Thought of a New User Name

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

Wow 85 years of marriage!

I wish my generation was more like them.

69.

ANNA

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

@ MEME GO CHOKE ON SOMTHEING….. REALLY CHOKE THO…

70.

Nay

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

What a wonderful story.

My parents will be married 50 years May 5th, 2010. We are having in the BIGGEST surprise party for them. I can’t wait. So many surprises and friends of theirs that they have not seen in years are coming. I’m getting emotional thinking about it.

71.

PB

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

Now THAT is true love. Blessings to both of them!

72.

|

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

[...] What is your best Valentine’s Day memory? Zelmyra: I cook dinner EVERY day.Herbert left work early & surprised me – he cooked dinner for me! He is a VERY good [...]

73.

jim bean

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

WOW I really love this post!! Thanx CL. I loved loved loved #8….it makes u think

74.

Camden town aint burning down

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

smh @ meme’s comments. ALWAYS gotta be one negative ass. this is so inspiring, i too hope to find my soulmate and live as long as they have. imagine living till 100 thats so awesome ^_^

75.

Shoni

Sunday, February 14, 2010 /

THIS IS THE BEST PIECE OF GOSSSIP I HAVE EVER READ…

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