In a recent interview with VH1′s Behind the Music, Fantasia recalled the day of her ‘aspirin and sleep aid’ overdose and admitted that it was indeed a deliberate suicide attempt:
On suicide attempt:
“I didn’t have any fight in me. I didn’t care about anything. I just wanted out. At that moment, I wanted out. I wanted it to be over with – all of it, all of that [expletive]. I just sat in the closet and looked at the mirror and took all the pills in the bottle. I wanted to go to sleep and just be at peace. I knew exactly what I was doing. You can’t accidentally take a whole bottle of pills.
On her relationship with Antwaun Cook:
“When I met him, he was separated … wasn’t living in his home. He didn’t want to be back with his wife – that is what I was told,” Barrino says. “I remember waking up in the hospital [and thinking], ‘It didn’t work, I’m still here in this hellhole. Still here with all this drama going on.’”
Her manager, Brian Dickens’ recollection of the events:
“Her emotions were extremely low,” he says. “She’d been crying all day. Fantasia was just numb. Fantasia texted me, saying ‘I love you.’ I wrote back, ‘I love you more.’ Then it hit me. I wrote, ‘You better not do anything or think about doing anything stupid.’ And I left it at that. About 10 minutes later, Fantasia texted me back, and she said, ‘Already did.’ I went into Fantasia’s room and saw her on the floor, and my heart just dropped.”
On how she was feeling about her current situation:
“I was tired of people doing me wrong, constantly, over and over again, dealing with my family – my father, dealing with men and their [expletive] – I was tired. My head was hurting me. I was over it.”
On what she learned from her nurse:
“My nurse Melanie was a blessing into my life because she didn’t tell me what I wanted to hear,” she says. “She told me what I needed to hear. And she looked at me and said, ‘You gotta get up, and you’ve gotta get out of here, ’cause you haven’t fulfilled your destiny. I realized how people end up in the grave. Because that one moment [snaps her fingers] of just breaking or feeling like I can’t, I can’t go on, it’s too heavy. That was somewhere I don’t ever want to go again.”
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The VH1′s Behind the Music interview airs tomorrow (August 24) at 9 p.m. ET/PT.
The former American Idol’s new studio album, Back to Me drops tomorrow as well.