After five seasons of drama, bottle throwing and purse smacking, VH1′s Basketball Wives‘ Evelyn Lozada has realized that her destructive actions on the reality show are not exactly a positive example for the younger generation. In fact, the Brooklyn-native shared a personal letter with the Huffington Post, where she reflects on her childhood, apologizes about her actions and (wo)mans up to her mistakes. You can read the full lettter below where Lozada speaks to her 7-year-old self.
Dear Mija,
In exactly twenty-nine years you’re going to find yourself at the middle of a mess that you unwillingly helped to create… You’re going to be the topic of a discussion about women on a national level that won’t be one of your proudest moments. And as large as your life may be at that time, the truth is that you’re going to feel painfully small.
You’ll look through the rearview mirror of your life and see a mountain of mistakes. You’ll realize that although it appears that you’re living out a dream, your seven year old self could never picture this near nightmare at thirty-six. You’ll remember the days when you drowned out the fighting and drama in your own house and the negativity of the women you loved who ultimately shape who you will become. You’ll recall the moments when you sat in front of the television each day after school in search of someone positive and found Oprah and wondered if people like her would ever be a part of your life, or if you’d always have the jaded ones you watched on Jerry Springer.
You’ll make no excuses for your actions, as a matter of fact, you’ll find yourself in tears at the Ah-ha moment Star Jones forces you to have. Beyond what you’ll initially perceive as a malicious attack by Star, lives a hard truth that will shake you to your core. YOU are the little girl, she’s talking about. And it hadn’t dawned on you the effects that your grown-up actions were having on the next generation of little ones who watch negative and abusive moments unfold on television.
It’ll take the moment when you see and hear your future step-daughters pretending to be “you” after watching you behave badly on T.V., that you’ll actually feel real shame. Knowing that the self image they were imitating was the very ‘image of self’ you will so desperately try to escape. In utter embarrassment you’ll find yourself explaining your unacceptable behavior to them, reaching for the imprint of encouragement felt by Star, Oprah, our First Lady Michelle Obama and other positive women of color that have gone before you and that are prayerfully standing behind you…encouraging you…willing you to stand in the space God will so graciously provide for you.” It’ll be the wakeup call you need.
Until now, you’d never put a race, or face or even an age to the eyes that idolize you or see you as an example: be it good or bad. And although, conscious now, you’ll carry the fear of failure with you each second because deep down, you’ll realize that you yourself had never been taught better.
I cannot promise you perfection, Mija. I cannot say that overnight, I’m going to get it right every time. What I will promise you is that I will always remain conscious that little eyes like yours are watching me and because of that, I will try to be better.
Learning To Love You More,
Evelyn
SMH…these birds are killing me. First that debil Shaunie, then Tami, and now this idiot. These ghettobots are faker than a two dolla bill and Steve Wonder could see that. Note to the BBW, you are what you are, ghetto and classless. To change your behavior on the show will show your true colors, fake. Evelyn you are a double agent, pick a side AA or spanish.
Why is this tranny overrated? Even the child pic looks like a lady boy from cambodia. No wonder Ochonegro is so fond of “her” and entertaining this character with strong azz caveman features looking like she should be on those geico commercials.
Her girly inset pic reminds me of a lil Rihanna.
That was absolutely beautiful. I usually detest Evelyn but great job. I hope it’s her new truth.
Oh! but I still won’t be supporting any shows she or Ocho Stinko are affilitiated with. Chile Please
I concur..hopefully this isn’t a stunt just to get ratings for their new show they filming.
As if ignorant hoodrats could write.LOL!!!
I think this is a step in the right direction. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and see if she actually works towards being a better role model. I truly do believe that people need wake-up calls. It’s hard to see that what you’re doing is wrong when you have people around you that encourage it. I wish that more people would have this “reality check” and progressively move towards a more positive image. I will never insult someone for expressing their remorse for their actions.
She didn’t write that herself, who is she trying to kid. The best way to put an end to this negative and inappropriate behavior on display is for people to stop watching that show and for the network to cancel it in favor or something uplifting, something that benefits women of color.
Sorry Evelyn, that letter is a non MFing factor!
Very nice letter.
I dont understand why people feel that she is suppose to be childrens role model. That show was created for adults. I dont think it is one show on VH1 that any child should watch. Now her apoligizing for making the African American community look bad, that I understand. People need to get a life and quit thinking television is suppose to raise their children.SMH
Only time will tell and action speak so much louder than words every will. I believe she has only come to this realization after the call of america to have her show banned, and all the comments about the stupidity that her and her other foolish cast mates have reflected in front of the cameras for the whole world to see for over last 3 or 4 season. Truth hurts. STING!!!!!!!!!
GIRL, BYE! You are full of crap. Like it’s been said several times, you only did this because the show has been recently scrutinized as it should be!!!
Anyone who believes this is either naive or just plain stupid! How come Ev is just now realizing how much of an a– she made out of herself after 3 prior seasons? Oh… because she and the rest of the cast got backlashed the worst they ever have and because celebrities are petitioning the show! This is just a publicity stunt. Did no one see the reunion show? Ev was still blaming Jen for everything and making excuses and had a nerve to do a “woo saa” moment when Jen first came out. If you changed so much… you wouldn’t need to “calm yourself down” or still get frustrated when Jen wasn’t agreeing with what you said. Point blank, she’s a ghetto, ugly, manly looking wh—who is money hungry and fame hungry. She’s also a punk!! She knows d-mn well if the cameras and security wasn’t there, she wouldn’t be throwing bottles and glasses or pretending like she was going after someone! She can’t fight worth nothing and never has fought on the show!
OMG, You are so right about what you posted TRUTHFULLYSPEAKING. Like you pointed out when Jennifer camed out on the stage, Evelyn did not act like she’s a change person. If these women weren’t on T.V. they will not be trying to fight like that. When i read your post i was dying laughing, cause you are on point 100+%.
As if Evelyn Lozada is actually literate. Her publicist is an excellent writer. LMAO
ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE EVELYN AT THIS POINT.WHATS SAD IS,BAD SELLS.AND THATS WHAT I BELIEVE THESE LADIES WAS AIMING FOR.BUT ALL MY LIFE I WAS RAISED ALL MONEY AINT GOOD MONEY.AND IF YOUR WILLING TO SELL YOUR SOUL,YOU HAVE TO BE PREPARED FOR THE END RESULT.AND YOU LADIES WASN’T PREPARED.I AM ONE WHO WILL NOT BE WATCHING EVE AND OCHO.I BELIEVE THEIR ALREADY MARRIED,AND I WISH THEM ALL THE HAPPINESS IN THE WORLD.
Nicely written but pure BULLS%#T! You’re telling me it took her ALL that time to realize she was acting a damn fool. ALL of sudden when sh&t hit the ceiling now she’s remorseful. FU evelyn! I hope you and your tired, immature, “child please” corny ass “fiance” 15 mins will soon be up! Such a beautiful woman on the outside but so UGLY on the inside. Evelyn and Tami are bullies! Tami and her alligator tears on the Wendy Williams show was fake as hell. Thoroughly DISGUSTED with them both! #IMDONE!
She isn’t even African American. She is puerto rican, so how is she a representation of the black community. I am confused why they keep saying in the media.
They say that in the media because the media understands that designations like “African-American”, “West Indian”, “Haitian”, “Puerto Rican”, “Dominican”, etc. are NATIONALITIES. They are not your RACE. “Evelyn Lozada” probably has as much “black blood” as the average “black American” female. She certainly has the attitude of the average “black American” female. If you pay attention within the print or television media, they will often give staitstics or demographics that pertain to “blacks and hispanics”, because they know that for the most part, we are the same people.
Well at least this is a start. I’m proud of her. She shouldn’t just do this for herself, but for her daughter as well.
That letter was absolutely beautiful although I don’t think she wrote it. Lol I’m not saying the girl is a dumb ass but I just can’t see it. I’m going to chalk it up to a ghostwriter. Anywho, it’s hard to change, especially at her age, but hopefully she believes what her ghostwriter actually put in that letter and grows up. I still don’t care for her too much, refuse to support the Barbecue Wives franchise and will be damned if I watch a reality show about her and a man that LEGALLY changed his last name to a number but I wish her well on her journey.
Evelyn please just except the fact that change ain’t in you or your bestie Tammie which is so sad, but anyway in my opinion you don’t have to change I’m not interested in supporting ignorance any longer.
It takes a big person to see themselves as others do. We must take the good with the bad and apply it. Am I a fan of Evelyn absolutely NOT. Do I respect her growth ABSOLUTELY.. We can not go through life thinking what we do will not affect others because they do. I think it’s hard enough to be in the public eye and continuously be subjected to everyones opinion of you when they don’t know you. However we must be honest with ourselves in knowing what we are taking on when we choose to go on television and air our dirty laundry. It was necessary for Star to speak up so that these ladies would have an opportunity to correct their negative behavior. Koodos to you for owning your actions and taking steps to right your wrong..
She should be writing it to everyone she has offended. She is hot headed, arrogrant and extremely messy. Chad watch out cause if you slip she might take a wine bottle upside your head.
I think reality is starting to set in on how the entire world really see her. In this bad ecomony she has several hotels in Miami that have turned her away from having her wedding. She is now realizing how F-up her reputation is & how many circles she will be excluded from.