Let’s say you’re walking home after a long day. As you get a block closer to your destination, you walk by a group of guys, chilling on the front steps of their building. You’re so exhausted and focused on getting home that you barely notice that a few of them are eyeballing you as you walk by, hoping to make some kind of eye contact. You snap out of it when you hear a husky, flirtatious voice say, “Hey Beautiful. Sweetheart, you got a boyfriend? Dang girl! Smile. Why you looking so mad?”
Ladies, I’m sure we can all agree that this described instance (or at least one that’s similar) happens often to a good number of us. Some of us force a smile to prove that we’re not really walking around upset with the world, while others may be turned off and roll their eyes at this subtle form of what many women see as gender-based street harassment.
While browsing the web recently, I found some interesting yet true illustrations created by an artist named Tatyana Fazlalizadeh. It turns out she posts these images in poster throughout the streets of Brooklyn and sells some t-shirt versions in an effort to spread the word about women and street harassment. In an interview with StopStreetHarassment.org, Tatyana shares what inspired her to take on this street art project:
The project was inspired by my daily experiences with street harassment.
Being harassed on the street is exasperating. I’ve wanted to do some art work on the issue for a while now, but I couldn’t figure out how to properly communicate what I wanted to say in my primary artistic medium – oil paint on canvas. Over the past year or so I’ve started working in public art as a muralist. Thinking about creating art in a public space led me to this idea of wheat pasting posters. Because what better medium to create art about street harassment than street art.
My intention with putting up these pieces was to artistically speak up for myself and other women who are harassed on the street. In the moment, you don’t always speak up for yourself. You ignore them, walk faster. So with this work, I wanted to say what I actually think when being hounded by men (though, they aren’t my exact thoughts because those usually include a lot of expletives). After having conversations with friends and women that I know, I decided to also include their words and thoughts as captions. So, the work is for women but also, and maybe even more so, for men. I haven’t received many reactions from men, and I’m trying to figure out a way to find their reactions and thoughts, if there are any.
Interestingly enough I noticed a blog post over on TheFrisky.com the other day and read their blurb on the subject matter. They had a bit to say about being told to smile by a man on the street:
How many zillions of times in you life have you been told by a random stranger on the street to “smile”? While the sentiment may at first seem harmless, the implication is that women only exist to be objectified by men — that by not smiling, we’re not fulfilling our end of the bargain. It’s a subtler form of street harassment, but no less a reminder that some men feel entitled to dictate what women do with their bodies. I mean, have you ever, ever walked up to a random man and told him to smile? Didn’t think so.
With all of this said and the fact that you’ve more than likely experienced some form of gender-based street harassment:
Do you agree? What’s your take?
I would love to hear what men think about the subject matter, too. To learn more about where you can get a poster or t-shirt, visit Tatyana’s Tumblr page: http://fazstreetart.tumblr.com. Drop your two cents in the comment section.
Been a fan of Tatyana’s art for a while now. She’s so talented.
I hate when men tell me to smile. The reason why I look angry in the streets is so you DON’T approach me. All I’m thinking about is getting from point A to point B.
…Or (for me) thinking about the food that I have waiting for me at home Lol
Is it me, or does the pic on the left look like Mary J, or what????? -___-
Lol Mmm, I say a tiny bit like Sheryl Lee Ralph…
It looks like Sanaa Lathan to me. Lol! So that’s Mary J., Shyrl Lee Ralph and Sanaa all in one!
The one on the right sort of reminds me of Chrisette Michelle with Estelle lips.
I love this. A LOT. I would wear it but wouldn’t want to welcome any more unsolicited advances/comments etc but on the other hand its great for awareness to share the message. I thought I was alone in getting the “just smile beautiful” comments that I get whenever I’m in a rush, not in the mood to talk to strangers or simply not interested in talking to strange men as someone who is happily in a committed relationship with a man that has never told me to smile or do anything simply because I am my own person. With my own mind, personality and smile. Love this.
I completely agree. I never wear message t-shirts but I would surely wear this one. My response to men is always the same “I’m smiling on the inside” and they get a brain fart b/c there’s nothing left to say after that.
I HATE being told to smile. That is honestly my pet peeve. If I’m standing by myself, or walking alone, why would I randomly be smiling? I never thought of the way men approach me as harassment before but it truly is annoying. I work at a place that gets a lot of male customers and I hear all of this almost every day. Thinking I owe them my phone number. Can’t wait to graduate in June and start my career! Definitely won’t have to deal with it as much anymore. Hopefully her posters will get men to think before they speak.
I feel you 100%. Getting told to smile boils my blood. I intentionally maintain my neutral look or frown as soon as I hear it. I would get that all the time when I lived in NYC. Black men there think you owe them your attention and if you don’t give it they can get downright nasty to you – a total stranger. And yes, I’m specifying black men because it was them 99% of the time. And I always noticed that they are the most inappropriate and disrespectful to black women. They say stuff to black women that I know they would never say to a white woman – and that’s the worst part. While they *never* walk around smiling, they have the nerve to impose upon you the expectation to be walking around with a goofy grin on your face all day just in case you so happen to walk across their path. It’s always the hood ones too – the ones you would never want to impress in a million years. GTFOH. I don’t smile unless something is humorous, or I come across someone I’m happy to see. These posters need to be plastered all over the five boroughs every foot you walk.
i love this. the message and the art form.
Lol. Typical black females always complaining about nothing. It quit obvious that most black females hate black men so this is nothing new, I mean they’re not even woman enough to even admit that they’re doing all of this nonsense to terrorize black men.
It’s not just black men who do this, so you are generalizing yourself. Random dudes do it all the time and it’s annoying. Especially when they expect you to say something back. If you don’t then they will say something smart. Nothing new but I’m happy someone is speaking on it.
@ANGEL
It’s very obvious that this campaign is directed at black males. I have no idea why you’re trying to act as if it isn’t. I don’t particularly have a problem with it in and of itself because 1) nonsense like this should be expected from the certified nutcases known as the average black female 2) black males need to spend less time concentrating on things that do not profit them, like trying to brighten up the day of wh0res, and more time concentrating on the attainment of wisdom. When you concentrate on wisdom, the females will chase you. If you want to meet a smiling cheerful wh0re, negro go to the club or the bar. They’re stacked in there. Stop trying to cheer up wh0res coming from their master’s job. In regards to this female, her motivation for this is not even worth deep conjecture. She’s either a le$bian or she’s not getting attention from the caliber of male she wants. Either way, she’s irrelevant lol.
Yeah where does it say, or where did anyone say, that it was only black men who did this?
@ Hell
I agree. I don’t think this woman like men at all. What is wrong with saying to a woman to smile. Why walk around looking like you have an attitude because you hate men? I just don’t understand this type of nonsense.
@ Richard
It’s easy to understand when you comprehend the world that we live in today, where the malcontent are allowed to indulge themselves in idiocy. If black males were to uniformly leave these same females alone that claim to get “harassed”, they would all start to wonder what is “wrong” with them, and commence to dressing even more scantily clad than normal in an attempt to get attention. I would love to see a black male make a line of t-shirts that say, “Don’t call me handsome!”, just to see what the response from females would be lol. I guarantee that 95% of them would allege that he was either a h0m0sexu@l, bugged out of his mind, or had a small pen!$ lol.
They moderated my response! LOL.
@Rich
I hear ya man.
@Richard Overstreet: how about if people constantly told you to smile when you have no legitimate reason to and are just going about your daily life? You may notice, human beings generally don’t walk around smiling – they usually maintain a neutral facial expression. Just because a woman doesn’t acknowledge you doesn’t mean she “hates the world” or “hates men”. She may already have one or more likely is preoccupied with her own life and thoughts or (shocker!) is just not interested in you and didn’t even notice you. I know it’s hard to fathom that possibility, but try. A woman does not owe a total stranger a smile simply because you he is male.
@ TROOF
Women give me compliments that I don’t know and I’m never offended by them. Even if I’m having a bad day or if I don’t want to speak. Even if the women is not someone I would ever think to date. I understand that people like to express themselves it’s part of being human and alive. There have been times that a woman has caught my eye and I strike up a conversation (how else will you get to know her?) This is what people do. Now if you’re not interested in an innocent compliment all you have to do is say thank you and keep it moving. To say you don’t want people you don’t know to speak to you is insane. And this idea that women don’t own men attention or time is something I would expect from a woman who hate people or men especially. Now if you hate men and you don’t want any man to speak to you well Good luck with that. Some women would LOVE for people to acknowledge them and it never happens.
Girl Bye! That is a man trying to get your attention … not grabbing your A%%. How is it that this is harrassment wearing this?? You wonder why black women get labeled angry black female. It gets on my nerves too but i laugh it off or ignore it… but I am not taking it as far as when someone is giving a compliment its serious! I wish black men would wear a shirt that says black girls are too damn angry stop pushing black men away then he would be bad!! girl please sit down …its not that deep. You can always bet black women get mad behind not getting any attention and for it …. sit down. is it that serious to do a campaign… How about making something to bring AIDS awareness to the fore front… Hmmm…
Co-sign.
@ Razer
I agree, but it is what it is lol.
Indeed if Black men (and Latin men forthat matter) spent more time cultivating their minds they would indeed find that women would pursue them, and wouldn’t have to solicit smiling at all because they’d have sophisticated social mores and those smiles would be offered willingly. I must say though that some of what I’ve read from the respondents to this particular thread shows either a lack of comprehension or a general ignorance of what this young woman is addressing. There is a proper, respectful way to engage a woman with whom one has had no prior contact; barging into her personal space under the presumption that your presence is welcome and relevant certainly isn’t it. I’ve had scenarios like this occur when I have been walking with my 70+ yr old father, who was equally scandalized that there are men who think this kind of appropriation of a woman’s personal space is ok. It’s disgusting, and what’s said is that the minds that most need to process this (Black and Latin men) are generally unwilling to take it in.
Um. Is it really THAT serious though? I guess.
Girl Bye! That is a man trying to get your attention … not grabbing your A%%. How is it that this is harrassment wearing this?? You wonder why black women get labeled angry black female. It gets on my nerves too but i laugh it off or ignore it… but I am not taking it as far as when someone is giving a compliment its serious! I wish black men would wear a shirt that says black girls are too damn angry stop pushing black men away then he would be bad!! girl please sit down …its not that deep.
I agree with you its not that serious
I didn’t realize is was that serious of a thing. lmao
I get this all the time too, and I thought, damn do I really look that mean, but I see that it happens often to other women as well, and you don’t really want to come off as a b**ch
but you don’t want to be bothered either, some women are thirsty for compliments or attention from men so I think its a good message that she is sending that we do not always want, need or appreciate the unwanted attention, especially after a long day of work or school.
I used to think it was me too – that I looked mean but glad to know it happens to others. I would buy that shirt in a minute. When they tell me smile, I simply reply – “Why don’t you smile first?”
I get this ALL THE TIME, so I guess I do look mean. However, I just don’t like the followup to the “smile”. Like if you decide to keep it moving and ignore the comment, some dudes get hostile and start calling you out your name.
@ Angel
In my view you have everything to smile about. You own and run a blog which means you on many levels deal with the public especially when you’re doing a promotional events. If you don’t mind my saying you also have a very unique appearance. You totally stand out in terms of how you dress and look. If a regular joe looks at you and you “appear” to have a dower look…it’s natural for someone to say “smile”. Why would you take that as a negative? When we walk in the street…there is a mixing of all types of people and this is what makes the city great. The people who may say “Smile” are probably not intellectual, not in the industry and seeing you or some types of women make their day. To just say you’re beautiful or that smile refrain makes them happy and in turn should make the receiver of the compliment happy as well. You can keep on walking and that is that. Some people do take it to other places but I’m not talking about those people. I know many beautiful women who take this in stride because they are too busy to care and they know this is how it is. But to dwell on this and make hostile art about it to me is typical of women who really don’t like men at all. And from those women I can 100% understand this type of reaction.
Thank you for the love LeQuint. I totally see your perspective as well. I guess I’m just looking at it in the negative form that’s what usually happens to me if I don’t respond. It also depends on the tone too, so men do it jokingly while others have another agenda.
I was just at an event in NYC this week waiting to get inside and the bouncer was like “Smile!” Not gonna lie, I was annoyed, because he was doing the most with that press list. But that’s another post. LOL!!!
YOU KNOW UNTIL SOCIETY STOPS THIS B/S THING OF DANGLING SOFT MONEY LIKE WELFARE CHECKS, FOOD STAMPS, AND APTS AT WOMEN IF YOU HAVE A CHILD OR CHILDREN OR CHILD WITH A DEFECT…..AND INSTEAD OFFER WOMEN AT COMMUNITIES A BETTER EDUCATION CONJOINED WITH THEIR OWN PERSONAL (FAMILY, CIVIC, AND CHURCH) BASED EDUCATION AND THEN CREATE AND OFFER BETTER JOBS WITH HARD INCOMES MAYBE THE RESPONSE TO THIS QUESTION WOULD BE DIFFERENT…..BUT FOR RT. NOW I’M SURE MANY WOULD SAY COME ON LET’S HAVE A BABY NOW BECAUSE I NEED RESOURCES YOU DO TO AND IN THREE YEARS NEITHER OF US KNOW IF YOU WILL STILL BE HERE (ALIVE OR INCARCERATED)…………..OTHER COUNTRIES HAVE AN EXTREMELY WELL-EDUCATED MAJORITY OF PEOPLE…..CUTTING OFF YOUR NOSE INSPITE OF YOUR FACE IS NOT A GOOD MOVE—-NEVER—-YOU ARE KEEPING PEOPLE OUT OF THE GAME…..WRONG BUT TRUE……AND CUTTING YOURSELF OFF FROM PROBABLE TALENTS AND ABILITIES THAT THE COUNTRY WILL NEED
I have a few things to say about this “art”. I totally understand if or when women are harassed by random men. A woman should be able to move about the city and not accosted verbally. But feminist can be very extreme and this art is in my view is reflective of an over-reaction. Being born and raised in NYC it’s quite normal that men cat call or say things like “smile”. It’s just part of the city experience. To take something as innoxious like that and make a political statement about it is a little extreme. Women can be empowered and not have to do things like this or call attention to the fact that they don’t want to be complimented. I do understand exactly the type of men Tatyana Fazlalizadeh is speaking about but at the end of the day what harm is this really causing? I know the type of male saying these things are not the type of men Tatyana Fazlalizadeh would date but at the end of the day it’s harmless and to be honest it’s not going to stop. It’s like when women walk past a bunch of construction workers and they cat call her. I think there seems to be a particular hostility with Tatyana Fazlalizadeh work and with the feminist movement in general. Yes, women face things that come along with their gender but at the same time why not deal with more important things like pay equality? Being called beautiful is not going to hurt a woman (unless it evolves into true harassment). True harassment should not be tolerated but being asked to smile is not going to destroy your day and if it does you need to maybe move to another city because it’s not going to change in big cities.
Sorry LeQuint You don’t get to decide what is offensive and what is harrassment to females. You will notice comments that point out the fact that a lot of times if you DON’T answer them then they get mean and disrespectful. Perhaps you should read the comments from females again. Nobody is against being complimented. None of those shirts/art pieces are ANTI-compliments. In fact, maybe males should try giving honest, genuine, non-sexual compliments more – instead of cat calls. When guys or anyone else for that matter, say “Good Morning” to me, I always say it back. If they say you look nice, I like your hair, etc. I say “Thank you” and smile. But random calls are not the same ting. And this does not just happen in NY but from all over the world as I am not in the US and it happens where I’m from. Seems men must have a conference to learn these poor habits. And just because women are offended by it – its feminism? Really?
@ayom’mari
I hear what you’re saying but these t-shirts are not going into the detail in the way that you are with your comment. For example. The T-Shirt that says, “Women don’t owe you their time of conversation”. This shirt is VERY hostile and to be frank common in what a lot of feminist express in their bashing of anything male. Some women don’t want to be complimented at all is what I’m getting from some of these shirts. Women can make choices that they feel comfortable with but this artist seems to just hate men. My girlfriend is beautiful and people cat call her when I’m not present she does not get upset about it. What she does do is keep it moving. Women have poor habits as well so don’t pretend it’s a one way street. I don’t know any women who would wear a T-Shirt like this unless they hated men like this artist does.
Only she who knows it feels it. The reason a lot of men on here do not understand where the concepts are coming from is because they have NEVER experienced it. Those of us who have experienced it know where she is coming from. In regards to the shirt that says “Women don’t owe you a conversation” (paraphrasing) – is because (as many women have already said), if we do not respond and “keep it moving” as you suggest we can get insulted and in some cases cussed out. So its not about “compliments”. If you as a man are not walking around smiling how can you advise a female to smile. Like I said in an earlier post – I honestly thought it was only me who dealt with that comment but its interesting to see that it is a universal situation. If you want a female to smile or be cordial – then smile and be cordial. Don’t tell her to smile. Don’t cat call her and then get mad because she doesn’t answer. That is all. I have become convinced that most men who want women to “know their place” always try to label women who call them out for things they need to adjust as “not liking males”. All men are not guilty of this behaviour because the TRUTH is – that real men (gentlemen with home training) don’t do these kinds of things and would have no issue with these pieces
@Laquint, this is true, it’s not going to change at all because most men simply don’t no how to communicate with women, this is a known fact, so they say things like smile, or hi beautiful, or some just stare at you! anyway at the end of the day, it is harmless! I don’t know what is wrong with this chick, if someone says smile too me and I don’t really want too or if Im not aware that I have a blank stare on my face, I’m not going to through a hissy fit, like always I will just smile and keep it moving or simply say oh I’m sorry was I frowning… but anyway we as women are all different, so maybe this chick is just simply tired of smiling when a man ask her too! lol
I never thought being told to smile was considered “harassment”. I understand being whistled at from across the street, but everyone is different. When men tell me to smile, they usually say it with a smile themselves. I can’t help but to laugh most of the time lol. I never took it as any harm but then again it depends on how they say it to you.
I agree with you 100%. I very rearly get this comment, but when I do I dont take it as someone all in my business. I think that when men see a woman that is pretty much put together on the outside but has a scowl on their face it messes up everything that they have going on. Just because we are not smiling and not in a good mood does not mean that our face has to be all screwed up. There is a medium.
Now the whistling and catcalls are totally disgusting!!
“touchofhoney” I think you are missing the point. In fact there is no “we”…you should speak for yourself. Every woman is an indvisual and may react to the same scenario differently than you would – but it does not make their reaction irrational. I’d argue that most women who get told to “smile” are not scowling – just as most men do not walk down the street scowling. If someone is scowling maybe they had a bad day, and they are entitled to that. A person should not have to alter their behavior just to please a total stranger – whether male, female or otherwise. Just my opinion.
@ Troof
Most women would respond differently depending on her experiences with men. On the other hand, some people are just downright miserable and will take any witty comment to be offensive.
This is one talented young woman and it describes the feeling that many women have while walking the streets. I think that men feel entitled and believe that as a woman you must speak to them regardless of how they feel. My thought has always been that my mother taught me at five years of age not to talk to strangers so why should I start now. I don’t have to smile, giggle, tell you my name, or any other request that you feel you are entitled to because you are the opposite sex. What makes this amusing to me is that when a man speaks to these men’s sister, daughter, mother, or any other female in their family then it is considered the most egregious act ever.
I like comment 11. I have to agree, I get it, we should DEF respect your space & do not know what you have dealt with prior to us seeing you, BUT when someone says SMILE, it should help lighten that load a little & honestly help you reflect on the positive & just soak up the moment. Isn’t this what life is all about? I AGREE 100%, if men are goign overboard, yes I get it, BUT come on, some of this is going too far (JUST MY OPINION!)
Being told to smile is a little irritating. Who just walks around grinning like a loon at all times of the day. I’ll probably smile if I’m speaking to somebody even if it’s a stranger, but just walking around minding my own business…nah.
It’s usually older black men who say this to me though. How about you give me something to smile about? Bunch of creeps and geezers.
Now, a young attractive man…yep he gets a nice grin out of me lol.
So it really has nothing do with the being told to smile, just the men who are the ones saying it…..right?
it’s still irritating but I will deal with my irritation in order to make an decent impression on a cute dude.
LOL @ devo.
Doesn’t matter what they look like to me, I still get annoyed. If you want me to smile, just smile at me and I’ll smile back.
I’ve NEVER walked past a man who told me to “smile” or asked “why do you look so mad?”, ignored it, and they didn’t react with something completely disrespectful, uncalled for, and unwarranted.
It’s annoying hardly ever “complimentary”.
There are ways to communicate properly. It’s not the fault or possible “snobbery” of a female that man’s ego may be hurt because he simply didn’t put the correct effort into sparking a conversation or interaction that would warrant a response. We as humans can decipher a decision to respond to something rather quickly. If going about it this way is being “taken the wrong way”……why should anyone, let alone women, disregard your possible innuendo or disrespect because you didn’t communicate your intentions clearly? First impressions are lasting.
I dont know about this. Those t-shirts can become a problem for a lot of people. A woman might be walking down the street and a man coming from the opposite direction might try to read her shirt and she’ll say “Stop staring at my breasts!” and the man will say “I was just trying to read your shirt sweetheart” and she’ll say “Read my shirt don’t it say dont call me baby!?!?!” and the man will get confused and sadly say “I thought you dont me dont look at your chest the words are on your chest…” This will go on for a few minutes and the man will decide it not worth it and try to walk away but the woman will push the man in the back of the head and he will go to jail. I see this all the time.
LOL what kinda scenario …
If I have words written on my chest, I’d assume the person is reading it and not just simply staring. A woman has issues if she’s doing all that.
RANDY! IM LMAO…
LOL @ “push him in the back of the head”.
This had me at work dying, I could actually invision this. too funny!!!
envision, my bad.
This seems hostile and unnecessary. But I’m a southern dweller so who am I to say?!
First of all, the artist is generalizing a gender of people that may or may not agree with the sentiment, exactly. I can tell you from my experience that there are some serious “Jacqueline Broyers” (refer to Robin Given’s character in ‘Boomerang’) in the modern world. They hustle like any man and they are confident to know what they want in the world without anyone’s say. With all of that being said, I could have sworn the issue wasn’t with how some boys/guys/men act in public (maturity is developed, not given) with regards to the opposite sex, but that it was about your equal rights (i.e. jobs, pay, opportunities, etc
).
Okay, a ‘cat call’ is childish and immature, I get it. I’m quite sure that there are gay men and women who feel the same way (my way of saying this post is biased towards a certain group). But I’ve been approached by some strong, independent women in my time, and I couldn’t even begin to count the times a female has done the same thing when she thought I was cute or handsome or sexy. But again, I’m a southern dweller, who am I to say?! I’m not gonna get offended (speaking for myself) and I’m not gonna play a victim. I think it’s cool that a female would do that to me. Now if a guy calls you something out of your name, like an expletive, then yes, you have every right to be pissy about it. But calling you beautiful, sexy, gorgeous, are not bad things, especially when you are more than willing to reserve your ‘cat calls’ (and I know you have some) for the next Boris Kudjoe in a speedo you happen to spot. It’s a cold world, men are expected to roll with the punches, but women can’t?!?! Or are so high on a pedestal that a man must acknowledge your worth at every turn?!…….. You are only playing the victim card IMHO. I’m assuming you want the roses without the thorns? It doesn’t work that way.
wow. i am a woman from the west coast. i am used to saying hello or responding to people male or female whenever spoken to. i dont see anything wrong with a man telling me to smile beautiful. with this being international women day i think a more serious issue could have been presented. women who are not told to smile but to cover their faces or women who are not called baby but who are forced to have babies after being raped. or the fact that black women are the highest growing populations in US prisons. Are we going to start complaining when a brother asks if we need help with our bags because it comes off as us being weak. smh. i cant.
I feel a little indifferent to this whole topic. I’m an artist myself and support fellow artists for their work is typically an extension of themselves. This is obviously something she feels very strongly about and has experienced a lot. I understand. Sometimes you just don’t want to be bothered and quite often, the calabar of men that do these hackle and cackle calls are not who we tend to be attracted to yes. I just honestly cannot relate to the frustration that seems to follow these encounters. I’m young, I’m attractive. Yes people notice. Yes, I get called baby and other pet names by guys older than my own father, it’s creepy, but it’s a moment in time that passes. Even when guys tell me to smile, I laugh it off, flash them a smile, and keep walking. It’s never gotten to a point where I was called “b*tch” or anything like that so why would I be mad, let alone call it harassment?…just my opinion. If it’s that bad that you get so mad or frustrated at this kind of talk so easily, maybe you should smile some ladies.
IT’S GOOD TO STAY “PINK POSITIVE”
Lol this is an interesting topic. Well i have to say, i can understand the frustration women are feeling about this type of ” street harassment” from men. I see it all the time walking down the street and i have female friends who express their frustration to me about this issue. So i can understand where this artist is coming from and many other women. I just think that guys will be guys… i don’t think this issue will be resolved… it just depends on how you deal with it. I think the best thing for women to do if they don’t wanna hear these types of things is to just brush it off… don’t let it affect your day or your life.. cuz really it’s not that serious…after all they’re complimenting you… so just say thank you (or don’t say anything at all) and move on… ignore them… make like a celebrity and ignore them LOL as if they are paparazzi’s. I mean you certainly SHOULDN’T get all heated about it, because it’s not worth it at all. If you let it get to you then you need to work on yourself. If COMPLETE STRANGERS thing a certain way about you, WHO CARES their words shouldn’t mean shit to you because they don’t know you. so for a lack of better words: suck it up. :/
Of course, some of you angry American black boys won’t even try to understand this post..because you hate Black women. Nevermind that this is truly a valid issue. That’s fine because, personally, I’ve actually despised American black men for a while. American Black women, please get yourselves together and then seek black men who are not American. I’m sure there are a few good ones left but the DBR (damaged beyond repair) ones are so prevalent right now, it will be dificult to find any.That DBR boys on this site are beyond…just crazy lol!
@ZWH0RE69
First you black females say there’s a man shortage, then you say you don’t want to be harassed, then you say to seek “non-American” black men. Well cot damn!t, which one is it lol? The reality of the situation is that feminism is important to promote (especially in the black “community”) because “feminisim” is the only thing stopping you females from remembering how much you hate each other. It is a well known fact that females despise each other, and many females plainly state that they have “no female friends”. They then go on to state certain aspects of the female nature that when a man states it, he is branded as a “misogynist” or “chauvinist”. “Feminism” allows you to establish a common foe, that being men. The two main emotions that motivate females in general is jealousy and boredom, which makes you easy to manipulate. For black females to get a “non-American black male” you will have to do something that you’re not accustomed to doing, which is be feminine lol. I’ve seen black females bristle at teh thought of keeping their head covered for a black male, but will do it quickly for an East Indian or Arab man. You can act for awhile, but it doesn’t last, and the men of the other races know you’re acting. American black males are bred by society at large to tolerate the manly bullshyt of black females, which is why (DESERVEDLY) American black males are maligned. Again, this campaign is not a big deal to me. I think it’s good. The black man should be reminded how little he is regarded so that he can turn to something profitable i.e. the Lord’s Word. The females in this society outnumber the black male 10 to 1, and their wh0rish ways devalue them. No black male should be chasing a female. It should be the other way around. Brothas need to get their act together and cut the bullshyt out. When this society collapses, you black females will not walk, you will crawl back to the black man.
Miss, ignore it and keep walking. I personally do not have an issue with a man telling me to smile. Sometimes we forget to smile. Men come up and start with a “smile beautiful…” line and I smile. When it goes further I just say thank you but I’m not in the mood right now for a chit chat. If he takes it in a bad way that’s on him…. Sticks and stones people…..sticks and stones.
I knew a lot of people would have a lot to say! I’m glad you all (especially the gentlemen) are putting in your two cents! REMEMBER: you can get your point across without devaluing another person’s opinion or disrespecting each other. Everyone’s stance matters.
Those shirts are basically saying…”If I want to miserable, let me be miserable. Don’t cheer me up.” Based on my observations in some instances, when a white male approaches a black woman she feels privileged. However, when a black male approaches a black woman, she acts as though it is a chore. Why can’t black males and females be like Asians. They go hard for one another. You can’t attempt to approach an asian woman without getting the “back the hell up” face from her Asian male friends.
I’m in a relationship with a very beautiful and educated black woman. We have these types of discussions all the time. I like talking about this stuff.
Exactly, which is why I have no idea why black females are trying to act as if this is a gender/sexism issue as opposed to it being another subliminal attack on their arch-foe (in their minds), the black male. What both these “sisters” and the black male may not realize is that a movement like this is beneficial for the black male, and I hope this explodes and gets huge exposure. The black female understands subconsciously that black males are not supposed to be chasing her. They’re supposed to be chasing after higher wisdom, and that is the only way that the black male will regain his manhood. She is supposed to be chasing the black male. I’ve never understood why dudes embarrass themselves out on the street trying to cheer up these miserable harlots lol. The black male is denigrating himself with that nonsense.
Sigh….why is this a big deal? There is hunger and proverty right here on American soil….her platform could be used for a better cause.
If you don’t want to smile…then don’t smile….it’s like saying hello…totally optional and not that big of a dang deal. Why let something so simple cloud your day and mess up your mood as someone saying hey smile….this could be someone attempting to transfer positive energy or a blessing to you. Some may use it to holla…decline and go on about your way…you do it to girl scouts selling cookies…so how is this any different. See if people would look at the gester for what it is rather than someone trying to be all up in your business….this would not even be open for debate.
And truth be told….most ladies entertain these little comments and pet names in the club…they all in and ready for drinks and a good time. But on the street when it’s someone that is not your taste or your mood isn’t up for it you ready to grab your pepper spray or sound off on somebody. This whole champaign screams the angry black woman image we work so hard to shed…..this aint helping…it’s hurting……
Thank you. My point exactly.
smile…it’s contagious
Why is this such a big deal? I’m a woman, and if I’m having a bad day or just in a rush and a guy tells me to smile, I just simply smile…why? because sometimes I would forget that the world is a cruel place and we all just need to smile once in a while–and life’s too short to be miserable. So bad things are happening to you, but you’re alive, you’re breathing, and you’re living another day, and that’s something to smile about–and if you’re beautiful, and someone tells you that, take is as a compliment and keep it movin
i think the ‘i don’t owe you time or conversation’ T-shirt might stem from a scenario like this (happened to me in MAINE , no city, nothing about black male or female, so leave race out of it, because it’s about sexism):
him; ” hey can i ask you a question”
me; kept walking (it’s 11;30 at night)(made no facial expression of any kind)
him; “oh you ain’t even al that you f*cking fat b*tch”
SO, what’s hostile is the way he perceives being rejected and chooses to respond, not the fact that i don’t owe him my time, which i don’t. i don’t owe a strange woman my time either but they’re usually not the ones bothering me for no reason. and by definition harassment= pestering, bothering, annoying, pressuring , coercing. So i have to answer random men with their ‘questions’ and comments or i’m a bitch. it’s his insecurity that is showing, going back to days when a girl rejecting a man usually meant she was physically attacked . i’m supposed to stop for every dumb rhetorical question. asking me if I have a light, or need directions or where i’m in a hurry off to (personal fav). i don’t give a shit about feminism i give a shit about having gross middle aged men stare at me like meat since i was 12 and remembering how it made me feel. i speak 4 languages and have lived all over the world and it’s universal. it’s NOT about race.
I am a black man and i think that this woman is dead right. We as men need to let these women have some peace and keep our mouths shut. Save your comments for your significant other. If we as men keep ourselves out of the conversation, we keep ourselves out of the conversation. Brothers, read a book, listen to books on tape as your walking. improve yourself. If that sister wants to engage you in conversation, she will do so……..
I literally like em. It’s different you use these out travelling town individuals. That’s just what exactly earbuds will be for. If many sound beneficial I’d absolutely wear these in the home. While taking part in my racing games and using fast songs: D montre guess homme http://montre-guess-pas-chere.webnode.f
I believe that these shirts are not aimed towards black men, but instead aimed at men of all races who are guilty of making such unwanted comments–oh pardon me…compliments I meant. Men need to keep such “compliments” to themselves. What gives this type of man the right to tell a woman (who is a stranger mind you) to smile? It isn’t a compliment, but an insult. It’s like telling a bum to go get a job or take a shower. And what would your justification or reasoning with that advice be? Because employment would benefit? Being clean prevents diseases? Please. This is about imposing ones opinions or thoughts on strangers. It is about courtesy and mannerisms. Not angry black women. These t-shirts and posters speak for women from all different races, cultures, backgrounds. These very statements are the unspoken voices of those women that need to be heard. And get this: It is not being vocalized to random men on the street. In fact, it is being posted, or printed on t-shirts. And these said men can simply ignore it and walk away. They do not have to walk and hear it, from out of the lips imposing women. Can you not see the difference in approach?
love the message behind this